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    Joined: Oct 2008
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    Originally Posted by newmom21C
    She's always had some pretty severe separation anxiety (got it at 4.5 months, ugh!). And it really hasn't gotten any better. I keep wondering when it will???? Maybe by the time she's in college? Hopefully?

    My daughter was the same way in that she had severe separation anxiety at 4 months. Her doctor was shocked to discover this at her check up appointment. Separation anxiety (the first stages) usually occurs no earlier than 8 months and it is linked to object permanency .... so yet another example of advancement in their brain development.

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    This is a very interesting thread for me. I'm also dealing with an emotionally intense toddler having trouble with preschool.

    She understands that "Mama always comes back" -- instead, her problem is that the situation is too overstimulating and overwhelming. Unfortunately, the teachers' strategies for dealing with her upsets are exactly the wrong things to do! The first one is pressuring her to engage in more activities. It's all the activities that are stressing her out! The other one is reading her that dreadful "Owl Babies" story. It does not make her feel better, it just makes her more upset on behalf of the little owls!

    Fortunately, the teachers are very responsive and are working closely with me on this. I'm working on explaining Hanni to them, and for my part I'm reminding myself that most kids are not like her, and the teachers' strategies are probably very effective for most kids.

    I'm really hoping this all smoothes out and I can keep her in the program. If I have to pull her out, I'm back to one-on-one babysitting, which is too little social stimulation for her. Sigh.

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    Meg,

    How old is your daughter? If she is 2 or under than I wouldn't worry about too little social stimulation. Even if she is closer to three I wouldn't worry that much about it. She just might need some time to mature emotionally before going into a preschool. Nothing wrong with some one on one time with love and attention.

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    Yes, she is still in the new room, which as it turns out is actually a 2-3 year old room which is helpful. Yep, I still get to observe her...actually I dropped in unannounced yesterday and asked for the video feed to be brought up smile. I'm all for taking full advantage of the monitoring system, and it seems like I'm the only parent who uses it!

    I feel like both her and I are sleeping better now. I feel calmer and maybe she does too! When she woke up to nurse in the night last night she wanted to chat about school!

    Originally Posted by Grinity
    ((Happy Tears))
    Wow! Homerun! Is she still in the 2 year olds room? Can you observe her via remote like you did before? I'm so glad to hear that she is talking at school. And that she has a friend. (or more!?!) Ain't having a happy kid the best?

    Smiles,
    Grinity

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    Originally Posted by MegMeg
    This is a very interesting thread for me. I'm also dealing with an emotionally intense toddler having trouble with preschool.

    She understands that "Mama always comes back" -- instead, her problem is that the situation is too overstimulating and overwhelming. Unfortunately, the teachers' strategies for dealing with her upsets are exactly the wrong things to do! The first one is pressuring her to engage in more activities. It's all the activities that are stressing her out! The other one is reading her that dreadful "Owl Babies" story. It does not make her feel better, it just makes her more upset on behalf of the little owls!

    Fortunately, the teachers are very responsive and are working closely with me on this. I'm working on explaining Hanni to them, and for my part I'm reminding myself that most kids are not like her, and the teachers' strategies are probably very effective for most kids.

    I'm really hoping this all smoothes out and I can keep her in the program. If I have to pull her out, I'm back to one-on-one babysitting, which is too little social stimulation for her. Sigh.


    Oh I so hope it works out for you! I know my daughter gets so bored when its just her and I day in and day out, so I know this is good for her, but certainly can see where preschool would be TOO stimulating! I know of a child who gets overstimulated at school (he's 4), so the teacher put up a room divider (curtain) and made a basket of books just for him. Anytime he's feeling overwhelmed he retreats there until he feels ok and he usually emerges on his own. Just a thought :-)

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    Just wanted to revive this thread to say, Hanni is doing GREAT in preschool now! She loves her teachers, loves the other kids, and is happy at drop-off time. I'm so glad we stuck it out!

    And as she perks up, the teachers are starting to clue in to how verbal she is. It helps that she is not an extreme outlier in this class, so the teachers don't have to completely shift their frame of reference. She's the youngest, and the oldest kid is a good match for her verbally. Also, most of the kids are smarter than the average bear (at least half of them have parents who are professors or computer geeks).

    So though I do still see the teachers talking down to her a bit ("Hanni, I see that you have TWOOOOO ponytails today!"), I don't think it's egregious and I don't think it's going to particularly harm her. Meanwhile there's paint, oo-blek, trampolines, pandas in the sand-tray, and veggies grown right there in the classroom. Hooray!

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    That's great! I'm glad it's going so well.

    I'm freaking out because it turns out I'm definitely going back to work full time once DD turns 2 and so we need to start the preschool/daycare search. We're actually moving somewhere where homeschooling is illegal (for sure now) and so we might look into a preschool that is attached to an elementary school (hopefully Montessori) but we're still unsure what the local options are. It's so good to hear success stories! laugh

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    So the move is definite, eh? Good luck and happy trails! Are the schools there good, and/or acknowledge gifted needs? Are you thinking about private schools?

    For myself, I plan on keeping Hanni in a play-based setting as long as possible. After that, we'll see.

    Last edited by MegMeg; 10/10/10 11:31 PM.
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    Originally Posted by MegMeg
    So the move is definite, eh? Good luck and happy trails! Are the schools there good, and/or acknowledge gifted needs? Are you thinking about private schools?

    For myself, I plan on keeping Hanni in a play-based setting as long as possible. After that, we'll see.

    Yep, it's going to be quite a change! Thanks!

    So the public schools aren't but we're definitely going private (thankfully this move comes with new jobs that will make this possible). The school that I'm drolling over (multi-age Montessori) would be a tough fit because it's only half-days at her age and almost twice the price of the other ones we're looking at. Plus, I'd be working full time so we'd need to find some sort of childcare in the afternoon. I know that school allows grade skipping and has a gifted program (and it would be good to start as young as possible so that we don't have to deal with tougher admissions policies as she gets older). As far as I can tell there is no financial age.

    There's another one that is more in our price range but would double our commute and DD wouldn't be able to start for another 1.5 years. It also has a gifted program and lots of honors/AP classes at least for the high school level but doesn't do the multi-age thing. Both those schools are bilingual, international schools (DH's preference).

    It seems like they have a few other Montessori schools or more child-led ones at better prices but they are just in the local language, which DH really doesn't want. Today we'll probably start contacting a few of them and finding out what they have to offer (unfortunately, their websites are pretty barren..). I'm freaking out a bit because we won't be able to visit anywhere before making a final decision. While I speak the local language, mostly what I know I about home stuff so researching schools is difficult for me. DH needs to do it but he's also busy with a ton of work stuff at the moment so it's been hard!

    Another thing I'm worried about is how we're going to get her tested when it comes to that point (and in what language!). Right now English is by far her best language but that might change significantly depending on what school we send her to, ahh!

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    newmom,

    It sounds like you will be moving to a new country ... am I right with that assumption? Exciting! I really hope you can find a school that would be a good fit for your DD. Crossing my fingers for you!

    I wouldn't worry about the testing right now. I would let her get comfortable with her new school and then see which is her strongest language. Which sounds exactly like what you are planning to do. LOL Just trying to say it is the least of your worries for now.

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