Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Twice Exceptional IEP on Wednesday ... what to do ...

It sounds like your son has a really good attitude, and I'm really proud of your whole family for that. In the long run, I think that's a key indicator of success in life.

I wish I had so insight in how to get him the gifted services that he needs, but if the school won't provide, then it's up to the family to find a way apply that same work ethic to afterschooling. Are there programs like First Lego League or Odyssey of the Mind in your area?

As far as the shoes - I think daily practice is a great thing, but I wonder if you could 'add yeast' to the reaction by also giving him a book of 'knot tying' so he can work his way up from the easiest to the harder ones. My son got interested in knot tying, and I sure enjoyed seeing the thick white rope with the cute black tips of duct tape. I liked the contrast of color too. My son learned to tie his shoes 'rather late' and then, after he learned, he kept his shoes tied and slipped in and out of them. Which I disliked. Later in Middle School, he just left them untied and hanging about 18 inches long. It made me long for the previous version. After about a year he went back to tying his shoes. He really wondered what part of 'Of course I'm not going to trip - I'm very coordinated' I didn't understand. I got to find out that there were some parts of his life that were beyond my control.

I tried offering Cowboy boots or loafers, but DS wasn't nibbling.

Shrugs,
Grinity

Grinity - I looked into the Lego League, but our state only has the robotics contest for older students. Bummer - he would've loved that.

I have decided that I am not going to rock the boat. Not because I am afraid to (I've tipped the boat over before for my oldest and have no regrets), but because I'm not sure what it would accomplish at this point. He has made enough strides in accommodations and remediation for the learning disability to function on grade level in the class. He is thriving in his class this year, and I think another year or two will really show whether he is indeed gifted as he makes even more strides with his disability or whether he is a very bright child who is not gifted. If in another year or two I see that he needs more creative or challenging work, then I can invest in some private testing and do whatever it takes to battle the school to get him what he needs.

I'm not sure I'm making the right decision, but it is the most expedient since there are no pressing needs that make it imperative that I go to war over this now.

Sigh. It would be lovely if the right parental choices where highlighted in bright yellow marker so we wouldn't have to worry so much, wouldn't it?

ABQmom, since he's thriving, then I think that's a fine answer. You will surely continue to work on the things that need work, and see where he goes from here.

I think the enormous time and energy cost of advocacy should be spent judiciously, where it's really needed-- in those cases where the child is not thriving or an urgent need is seen. You have to pick your battles...

DeeDee

You're right, Dee Dee, and that's what finally tipped me in that direction. I was trying to prevent the same disasters we experienced in mid-school with our older gifted son when he was in regular ed, but I may be trying to prevent something that never happens anyway.

Agreed.

And the truth is that there is plenty to cheer about. He's received excellent services at the school when it comes to remediation, compensation skills and occupational therapy - more than I'd hoped for in the beginning. When he was 7, I doubted he would ever be able to communicate through writing or do a simple math problem on paper. This morning he typed his campaign platform for student council and was elected by his class after they chose his ideas as the best of all that were submitted. I have tears of joy as I write this post, because I can see doors opening up for him because of his own tenacity and the support he's already received.

Believe me, I will make sure his teachers and support staff know how much I appreciate them and what they've done.

Thanks for the advice.

ABQmom, that is just awesome. He will go far.

DeeDee

Ugh. Meeting was moved to tomorrow. One more day to second-guess myself.

They take up too much brain space, don't they.

DeeDee

ABQMom, I researched private diagnosticians here. If I can find my stuff on it, I'll PM it to you. They are available, but very expensive.

KD - if you find the info, I'd love it. Thank you!

The IEP went well, and I think it's a good fit for now. He has a teacher this year who has over 30 years' experience and is still highly invested in the kids. He has already offered some solutions which have made an excellent improvement (finger spelling on sand paper for one - my son got a 100 on a spelling test for the first time ever). So I'm ok not fighting the not-gifted label at this time, since getting it would mean not having this teacher this year.

The diagnostician recommended in the IEP that my son be re-evaluated for gifted within the next three years, so it's actually part of his IEP. She said she thinks that as he continues to gain new ground, he will perform better in testing. And I am good with that. The IEP in place allows him some of the accommodations he would have had in gifted - more creative based projects instead of worksheets, etc. They also added in the entire rainbow of accommodations for the dysgraphia just in case we need to use any of them, but his current teacher says that my son is keeping up and thriving with the same written work that the other kids have (minus the poor spelling on written assignments).

So thank you - all of you - for helping me sort through the issues with the right resources and information. It was such a help!