Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy Working within the system frustration!

I'm trying to work within my system to advocate for my DS7. We've been doing much better this year and still we have a lot of work to do.

I'm in a blue state so gifted is mandated which you would think is great. Only there are about 50 different policy manuals each at about 100 pages to read through. Some of them contradict the others, some are so vague as to be useless and some of them are changed as soon as I ask a question in my favor. Very frustrating.

My latest question was ignored for two months and then answered, only totally not a policy answer. I want to see it in black and white. "Yes" my DS7 can do this or "No" we can't provide that and here is the document to prove it. How difficult is that for a state with written policies on gifted education? UGH!

It is frustrating. I would try to start at the beginning. Who are going to be the decisionmakers in your case. Ask them (in writing and if you think it will be an issue, in a formal letter) to provide you with copies of the policies they will follow as they make decisions re: your son. You are right that a moving target will make it very difficult. Just identifying the decisionmakers can be a huge task, but also make a huge difference. Don't wait too long to go up the chain of command - I very much regret waiting 2-3 weeks for an answer. That is unreasonable and answers should come faster. If not, go up the chain.

Once you have identified the policies you will need to learn them well.

And well, then the fun begins. If you are getting some cooperation, then some of the following may not apply - but if not, my suggestions are:

do everything in writing and mail the letter, keep a copy and if necessary send it return receipt or certified or something like that (it signals that you are serious). Include dates by which you expect a response. Don't make threats. Keep a record of every call, email, meeting, contact, letter, etc.

if you find someone sympathetic, use them. Sometimes that is all it takes.

Good luck, Cat

Have you contacted your state gifted association to help you wade through the paperwork?

Thanks Cat. I have been dealing with the people at the very top. Mostly they just ignore me since they know their own policies actually support what I'm asking for. It's just that no one has ever called them on it before.

I keep getting we only do blah blah. Then I respond saying, "Okay, great. Can I get a copy of the policy that states this?" At which point they begin ignoring me again. Or mis quote the policy, which is just annoying. Then I quote them the actual policy and ask them if there is perhaps an updated policy that I am unaware of or a different policy. More ignoring.

I did get a hold of a person today on the phone and she neither confirmed nor denyed the question I'm asking about. She just mentioned that it may be that we don't have the teachers available and that is why I'm being told this. More blah, blah...

I'm seriously about the documentation so I've been putting everything in writing via email. I hadn't thought of sending a certified letter though or putting a date of when I expect a response. I can see how that may get them to pay attention. I'm definitely going to try that!

Inky - I don't think we have a gifted association, at least not one that helps with advocacy. We have something that comes up online but it doesn't seem to be active.

I don't feel like I'm being unreasonable to just get a question answered. It's just so absurd!

I am not sure if you are in a public or private school for look into the state department of education. Many times there are educational consultants who work freely on your behalf in getting issues resolved with the public schools (I even know some that have been willing to try and step in to help out advocate for a private school too, though the school isn't required to listen, hearing it from a professional educational consultant that works for the state and is aware of all of the state mandates and policies may help.) Worth looking into perhaps.

Another great idea! I hadn't thought to ask if there was such a thing and rest assured no one would offer up the information. I'm asking today! The people on this site, rock!!!!

Since it came up, I'll post this link for state gifted associations. Last spring, I was looking at a move to NC and contacted the head of their gifted association who was very helpful. The move never materialized but it was a wonderful resource.
http://www.nagc.org/index.aspx?id=609

This is a bit off-topic but related.

A dear friend of mine works in a good public school system as an administrator of a high school. She manages the special education for the school and says the parents of these kids know their rights and fight for their kids. Every e:mail that asks a question ends with something like "I look forward to hearing from you by close of business on Tuesday." Every letter request has a deadline, every meeting with the school is accompanied by an attorney. My friend applauds these parents because they are the ones who get what they need for their kids. She commented to me once that until the families of gifted children use these tactics, a school may never get serious about your child's needs. It's hard for the schools to differentiate, but they still need to do it! Typically the schools that are good at it had a family pave the way some time before.

I applaud your tenacity. What you do now will also help future gifted children in your school. Keep it up!

Thanks Eleanor! and I think I missed my calling. LOL! By the time this is over with I'll make a great advocate for anyone in my area. Maybe I should start an organization?

I'm going to look at that link Inky - maybe it has something for me

How big is your school district and are you dealing with principal or a super or ??? I am lucky that I am in a fairly small district - 1 large HS, 2 Middle schools, a handful of elementary, and I knew if I had to I could go to a board of ed. meeting and make a big stink (although I had heard the super. would probably be helpful) - luckily it didn't come to that.

In a big district, if you are dealing with a central administrative office you will have to go about it more formally and with proper documentation. I would also ask for what you want and what you think it allowed under the policy. You don't have to go on and on, just make the request, quote the policy, and show it applies to you.

For example:

I write to request that my son, DS, be accelerated from 3rd grade to 5th grade for math and reading.

According to District Policy #55-555, subject acceleration is allowed when [blah blah blah - quote the policy verbatim].

Our son meets the criteria outlined in #55-555 because [scores, tests, teachers recommend, whatever it is].

Because our son falls within #55-555, we would like to meet immediately to discuss our request so that he educational needs can be met in a more appropriate manner. We expect to hear from you by X date."

One thing that can help is to find out from a special ed parent what protections they have. I am not an expert at all in that, but I think in our state the school has to reply within 10 business days to any requests, communication, etc. If you follow what they are used to with the special ed. requests, you might find they are programmed to respond.

Cat

I'm in a medium district. I stopped dealing with the people at the school level last year when I realized they don't control anything. I'm dealing with the director of special ed and the director of curriculum. I can't get any higher than that at the district level. I just sent off my formal letter with a date of expected response. Love that. I'll see what I get back.

There are definite timelines they have to follow for certain things. Only, I'd have to file a formal grievance first, which it may come down too. Right now it just a question I'm asking that they are refusing to answer. No time line on that.

I get the problem for them. If they answer me with a "yes" it means they have to service my DS7 in a way they have never serviced a gifted student before. Even though it is clearly written that if he needs it he gets it. I've even quoted them their own policies and they have been unable to provide me with policies that counter it. So we are at a stalemate, with them just hoping I'll get tired and go away before I push it any further. They seriously don't know me!

I'll give them until the deadline to give me an answer, It doesn't even have to be the answer I want as long as they can quote the policy it came from! Then I think I'll have to move forward to a formal complaint. UGH!

2 more tips:
1) Hold face to face meetings at the end of the day when everyone just wants to go home, and keep repeating what you want until it's easier for them to just agree.

2) Ask for twice as much as you want. That way they can have the thrill of turning you down, and still give you what you want.
Is there a gifted private school an hour away? Ask for them to pay tuituion and provide transportation as an alternative to the very reasonable requests you are making. That could backfire, but sometimes helps.

I think the formal complaint is a good idea. Best Wishes,
Grinity

LOL! Love the end of the day thing. Our first IEP meeting was 2 hours and I let them know I had no where to be.

No gifted school nearby but DS7 is taking the CTY testing next month and assuming he passes could take one of their online courses for $2000 plus. I should mention that option.

Eleanor05 you are exactly right about someone previously paving the way if a school has it in place. I can tell you those were the exact words out of the princ. mouth when we met and said we would like a full grade accel. for our child and this is how we want it done, layed it ALL out to take away all the guess work for them, provided the IAS and referenced the state policies regarding this (even though we were private school and they could have said, that doesn't apply). Princ. is happily watching the success of DC and keeping tabs on how it pans out. No one wants to see it not work or else all bets will be off for others in the future. We've all heard it.... We can't accel. your child because one child 30 years ago was and it was a bad situation... blah, blah, blah. I was prepared for all that, but it never came to that. They were surprisingly eager to give it a go (easy to do when someone else told you how to go about it! HAHA!) but this was a first ever in the school, so it was a huge deal.

Well done, bh14! I'm so glad it is a successful acceleration and, now the school will feel confident in the future about acceleration. Our school turned down the acceleration idea even though I gave them the IAS, etc. etc. There was a student in the previous year who was accelerated and of course it was a disaster. I specifically asked them if they did x, y and z like the IAS recommends and they just said, "well, we can't discuss another student." blah, blah, blah

Pave the way, sisters!

Oh Man Eleanor05! That sucks that they base it on a previous case. Every case is different, just as every child is different. Who knows if they followed the IAS with the previous student... I would bet not! Well, don't let it stop you! Charge forward!!!!!

A successful acceleration is great! I think the schools need to hear more about them and less about the ones that didn't work out. And they have to be reminded that each child is different and stop lumping them altogether.

I checked into an advocacy group in my state. Here it's handled district by district. So I emailed them and told them I'm interested in starting a gifted advocacy group in mine. I think it will help to have more than just my voice trying to get things changed.

Ours is handled district by district as well but you could look into the state department of education as the other option for advocacy help. Good for you for wanting to start that up for your area! there can be power in numbers!!!!!

Glad you got the letter off - keep us posted. Cat

Will do and thanks everyone for the support and suggestions!!!

Well, the deadline has passed with no answer. Not surprised. Moving on to the formal complaint process. A total pain in the you know what and at least we are a mandated state so I have a process. I'm not giving up because it's clear that what I am asking for is supported in our system! Onward!!!

Sent it off! They have 17 days to reply

OH MAN! that's pathetic, on their end! You need to complain and make sure it gets resolved. Go as high as you need to, to get results.

((cheers and stamping of feet!!!!))
Go Momma Bear!!!!
Yippee!

We'll letter went off Friday and I got a call Monday to set up a meeting. Crazy how I have to take it to the next level to get a response! And I'm not even looking for agreement at this point. Just an answer, any answer as long as it's based on policy and not pulled out of thin air! Meeting is set for next week. Wish me luck

Good Luck Momma Bear!
I love what MON says:And I think it's often true!
Love and More Love,
Grinty

Update - NO RESOLUTION! UGH!

Had our meeting today, which happend surprisingly fast once I went the formal complaint route. Still no resolution though. Thankfully, I'm in a mandated state so I know where to go from here. I have to wait one week for them to have the chance to fix it and then it escalates to the next level of formal complaint in which they have 45 days to get back with me! LOL! I've got to laugh or I'll cry . Seriously, maybe this time next year I'll have my answer and I'm in a MANDATED state! I can't imagine how all you others have managed with out the minimum of a mandate.