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    Joined: Dec 2009
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    So, it is official. DS8 will be accelerated from 3rd to 5th in math. This is what had originally been proposed by the district, but we had a last minute conversation about whether he should just go up to 4th. DH and I argued in favor of the 2 years, and in the end we all agreed on the 2 years(well, the Principal isn't happy about any of it, I don't think, but she is going along with it and making it happen, and to be honest, she is just worried about DS socially, which isn't a bad thing).

    But now I am panicked - what if it is too much for DS, what if he terrible handwriting (and failure to keep straight columns of numbers) messes him up, what if he feels terrible because he is just "in the middle" of the class instead of the top, what if it is too hard, or too much homework? Or the worst scenario - what if he starts to dislike math!

    Now, the objective testing all showed that he knew the 4th grade material well. But it also showed he didn't really have a grasp of that much of the 5th grade material - so this year should be challenging, which is good. But I had him do the 4th grade assessment on Aleks and he only scored 82% (he missed several questions where he had to remember cumulative, associative, etc. properties, and he couldn't remember the terms - we haven't really done math for most of the summer except practicing times tables, but he also missed some fraction questions that surprised me). That 82% has me worried- what if he just isn't ready for 5th grade - he probably could use the last 2-3 months of 4th. I try to remind myself that many of the kids in 5th grade are not going to remember more than 80% of the 4th grade material - that is why they review in the beginning of the year. And I stared at his SCAT scores from January, trying to remind myself that he was in very high percentile compared to 4th graders in that test.

    So, we have left it that we will evaluate in 6 weeks, and if we feel like it is in DS's best interests, will shift him down to 4th. The specialist and DH are confident he will be fine in 5th - I am a bit worried, although not dramatically so. We told DS that we were confident he would do the work, but that 5th grade was a 6 week experiment and he seemed okay with that.

    Thanks for letting me vent. I am obviously not talking about my concerns around my DS! And if you had a successful 2 year acceleration, please post and tell me how it went and how long it took for your child to settle in.

    Cat


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    Your feelings are exactly what I was going through each time DD has skipped a grade of math. Each time I worried if it was too much and the consequences of that decision. What I have learned so far is that DD does better the more she is challenged. I am sure this will be the case with you and the decision is a good one for your child.

    Jen

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    I am guessing he will do fine. I have an 8yo who also goes to 5th grade for math, and I had the same concerns. He is a great kid, but pretty laid back. When he moved ahead, they gave him the summer packet that the kids get when they go into accel math (skipping 3rd grade). His brother almost had a heart attack when ds8 said, "yeah, it's optional." Ds10 said, "but you HAVE to do it. On the first day of class, the teacher will ask who did the summer packet and you have to raise your hand." Ds8 just shrugged and said, "yeah, well, what happened to the kids who didn't raise their hands? Nothing, right?"

    Anyway, I had the same concerns as you. This year, we wanted him to be with the 4th grade accel, but it didn't work out and instead he goes to 5th grade. I thought the same things---- oh gosh, his handwriting is so big he'll need extra pages... and he isn't good about math facts... and he may struggle with the extended responses because his writing (not handwriting, but actual writing) isn't as advanced.

    Well, so far, it's been NO PROBLEM. We are meeting today to talk about it, and he actually has a not-great scenario where math and gifted pullout overlap (so he misses the first 20 minutes of math usually, i.e., the instructional period!!) but you will be amazed. My guess is that you're comparing him to yourself, your family, your other kids, your dh... you might be thinking, "he's good, but is he that good?" But in all likelihood, he really is that good and you just don't realize what the "average" 5th grader is like!

    Yes, your son might not be at the very top RIGHT AWAY, but my guess is that he will be soon. We've been through grade accel and subject accel (ds8 is the youngest of our 4 gifted kids) and I often caution people that grade accel isn't a magic bullet. It works for a while, but if continued differentiation isn't done, there will be problems. I would bet money that your son *eventually* will be at the top again, simply because he learns faster than the average kid and has a natural affinity. I view it like one of those math problems:Suzy starts out walking to the store at 3 miles per hour. Joey starts out half an hour later, walking four miles per hour. Eventually, Joey overtakes Suzy. Your son is Joey. wink
    We never had much of an issue with any of my kids accelerating, but I tried to make it very lowkey and I made sure that they did their homework faithfully and didn't expect perfect scores. We hit patches now and again where we found missed knowledge, but it really wasn't that often.
    When my son first skipped ahead two grades (although it was more gradual, as he skipped ahead one grade and then a few months later skipped again with the accel group) we started using Beestar.org for grade-level (his new grade-level) practice.
    I have to admit, ds8 isn't one to do math facts or workbooks or whatever. He's a builder, creator, sports-playing ball of energy. But, we did the two 10-problems questions each week, which are aligned to state standards (it isn't the state we live in, but that's okay) and it helped fill in any little gaps and didn't really take much time or effort. I'd definitely recommend it, at least for a few months. I didn't think it was any great burden on ds, because even in the higher grades, our math homework was minimal at best.

    Good luck!!
    Theresa

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    I know that reasoning doesn't often help panic, but I'm going to try anyway.

    Originally Posted by Catalana
    what if it is too much for DS, what if ... terrible handwriting
    If he notices and cares that his handwriting messes him up then he will slow down and improve on his own, or you can hothouse him a bit by using the 'how to write numbers' section in a Handwriting with tears Printing Book. Us their special paper - it's so amazing.

    Quote
    (and failure to keep straight columns of numbers) messes him up,

    Turn the notebook paper sideways to help keep the columns of numbers aligned. Tell DS to use lots of paper when doing Math and write big. I know that you've already drilled him 'not to waste' so tell him
    "Trees love to die to make paper for kids to learn Math."
    and laugh with him over how much he worries about things like that. You have to get the tone very teacherly and it worked well at our house.

    Quote
    what if he feels terrible because he is just "in the middle" of the class instead of the top,

    Cheer! Wouldn't you rather that happen now while you are here to support him than later when he is on his own, living away from home at college?

    Quote
    what if it is too hard,
    You can always drop back to 4th grade math. I've BTDT too. It's ok.
    Quote
    or too much homework?
    If the homework is appropriate, but just too much, you can contact the teacher and work something out. It's ok.
    Quote
    Or the worst scenario - what if he starts to dislike math!

    If he is a kid who likes to learn, then it's more likely that he'll dislike math becaue it's too easy than because it's too hard. I've BTDT on this one too. If he starts to hate Math because it's too hard and he already doesn't enjoy learning, then so be it. I'd rather have a gifted kid who knows how to work hard and does it because it's expected, rather than because he enjoys it, than a gifted kid who doesn't enjoy learning at school AND doesn't know how to work hard.

    So - congradulations! Try and remember to enjoy the process.
    Love and More Love,
    Grinity


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    What if? is a question that should be banned! With these kids that question does nothing more than drive you crazy. My guess is that your "mommy gut" told you that this is the right thing. The second guessing comes from the desire to protect our littles from hurt.

    I'm guessing that yours will be fine after a short adjustment!


    Shari
    Mom to DS 10, DS 11, DS 13
    Ability doesn't make us, Choices do!
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    Thank you so much for much, I am feeling much calmer. Some of this came from my son who just rolls his eyes at me when I say something like "should we practice your 8 x X times tables (the only thing the math specialist suggested over the summer was to practice times tables). He makes me laugh and just reminds me that this isn't such a huge deal.

    We had a talk tonight about gaps, and that it was important for him to communicate to the math teachers and to Mom and Dad if something was covered that he didn't understand - that it was normal there might be a few areas that he needed some help with (I explained that we it wasn't fair for the adults to expect that he could teach himself all of third and fourth grade math and he might need a bit of help "in a few spots").

    Beyond that, I am trying to stay out of it. I reviewed the 5th grade curriculum briefly and there is nothing there that he isn't fully capable of understanding, so there you go. And I am trying very hard (and succeeding at this point) about not thinking about anything beyond the next 6 weeks.

    A lot of our acceleration questions have been answered (the schedule is well settled, the receiving teachers are lovely and met with DS, he has his own desk, supplies, etc.,) but we have not asked about enrichment (we have a one time/week pullout). My thought is that we will see how things are going at week 6. If things are good, at that point I will ask that he be included int the pullout (although I think he has been exposed to much of it - non-base 10, roman numerals, that type stuff).

    If I had the money, I would send each of you a plane ticket to my state and have a get together with champagne, coffee and dessert in my living room. Thank you, thank you for the strength to follow my instincts on this. I do think it will go well!

    Cat


    Last edited by Catalana; 09/03/10 06:22 PM.
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    Yay Cat!! We will celebrate across the net. :-) So glad that things are going well. I am sure things will be great!

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    And Grinity,

    The sideways paper idea is a true gem!

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    Hi Cat,
    I know the worry but stay positive - the way that you are doing it is great - a 6 week trial. My DS skipped two grades last year and I spent our summer vacation crippled with fear and worrying about the worst case scenarios - actually it turned out to be the best year that he has ever had at school. There are lots of success stories out there and you are going about it in such a sensible way, so have faith!
    X

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    Only a couple days in, but seems to be going well. The 5th grade teacher reported that he seemed to jump right in, DS reports the older kids are fine (was nervous the first day of course), the math seems pretty easy to him so far, and the receiving teacher said she felt like the level of math was right for him too.

    grin

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    Catalana,

    That's great! I'm so glad that your son is where he needs to be placed for math. It sounds like the 6 week trial will be an opportunity for everyone to feel stable too.

    Great advocacy job!

    Maryann

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    You've already had a boatload of wonderful advice, so I'll only add more one thing - if your child actually has the opportunity to be in the middle of the pack instead of the genius reaping admiration and praise, it will be a valuable experience learning-wise. One of my son's most difficult traits he has had to develop is to not give up when something is hard. He is so used to things coming easily that when he is not at the top of the class, he just quits. He's now a senior and is much better, but his GPA is still reeling from several hard lessons along the way.

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