Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy School is just fine--he is challenged

So, I've been frustrated through the kindergarten year. My son (who just made the K cutoff so he is young) went to school reading the "Magic School Bus" series. He went to school so excited to learn. Within a month, he hated it. He was learning site words and A, B, C sounds.

Every time I approached the teacher, she said "he is a good reader, but he doesn't have the equivalent writing skills that match reading so we will work on writing with him.

At the end of the year, I went to the school. The administration all agreed, "great reader, great with comprehension; but writing doesn't match reading so he needs to stay where he is." They all said that at this school, you have to have written responses to what you read. If you can't do the written response, then you aren't really aren't at that grade level.

This summer, I had a teacher talk to me. She again said "he will be challenged by the heavy writing load. He will be tops in his class. You have the perfect scenario. Leave it alone.

I'm starting to think, "Geez, if I'm the only one who thinks he needs more, then maybe I'm the one who is wrong."

His verbal and quantitative IQ is in the 99%. At home, he reads 4th and 5th grade science books, loves vocabulary, and he plays with Lego Mindstorms.

But at school, he is a "bright kid" who can't write and doesn't appear advanced other than being a strong reader.

I feel like I've hit a brick wall. I've also heard the message so much that I'm starting to think I'm nuts for feeling like he needs more.

Any suggestions for me. Should I just give up for a while. I've been to everyone in the school--in a nice easy way. I get a pat on the head, told he is getting what he needs, then I get shoved out the door.

When they say "stay where he is" does that mean repeat K, or just go into 1st rather than skipping a grade? And how does his writing compare with his age-peers? You've got a slightly different situation if it's behind age-typical than if it's fine for his age but just doesn't match his reading.

What is he reading at school? Reading level not matching writing level is incredibly common and the school ought to be able to cope with giving him things that are interesting for him to read, while still working with him on writing at his level. That's really not so hard for them. Are they not doing that? Or is your concern that you think he needs a gradeskip, which they aren't willing to consider because of the writing issue? It's frustrating when writing is the only thing that makes a gradeskip impractical, and I hear that sometimes getting the child to type is a way round that, but that usually seems to be with slightly older children. (We're currently encouraging my DS to learn to type, but it's slow going.)

How's his maths? You say he has quantitative IQ in the 99% but you don't mention strengths there... is that too a lack of challenge issue?

I was curious if you meant grammer or penmanship. I just read that gifted boys who are into computers often don't worry about grammer and spelling "because we all have spell-check these days.". Are they saying that he's spelling everything wrong or that his handwriting is illegible? Anyway I'm curious to see if anyone here suggests that you can ask for any accomidations short of a full grade skip below the third grade. (which the school isn't offering due to his writing). Poor baby. That's way too young to hate going to school already.

My DS7 has the penmanship of a typical 7 yo. His fne motor skills are about the only thing that is age appropriate to his development. We've addressed this with the school in two ways. Anything that is longer than a paragraph he is allowed to type. When he is taking tests, he is given additional time because he writes slowly. The teachers also have the option of giving him his tests orally.

It doesn't make sense to hold a kid back because of motor skills.

The only thing I've ever asked for is that he get more challenging reading work. Then, they throw it back that he can't write.

It has felt like we are going in circles to the point where I'm questioning myself.

@Texican- unfortunatly, my brother the computer programmer also told my DS that there was no need to learn to write because he hasn't written anything at all in 2 years. He's probably right but you don't need to tell my kid that!

The physical act of writing (penmanship and letter formation etc) has nothing to do with reading level. I doubt that the school would keep Stephen Hawking in Kindergarten simply because he couldn't actually write the words ;-)

I heard the same thing for two years (in pre-K and K for my son). I pushed and pushed. He's now grade skipped in a different school that has happily taken his "at grade level" writing ability and encouraged, pushed and pulled better and longer written responses out of him.

I started by just telling them that I'd get him evaluated with our pediatrician but that I was certain that a physical delay wouldn't impact his education. I repeated that several times until they began to understand that I wasn't going to let it go. We did have to switch schools however. The private school went from handwriting complaints to "oh we go deeper not faster." And deeper meant my kid reading at a 3rd grade level had to sit through phonics of A says ahhhh so that he would be a good speller in 3rd grade...

I wonder if it would be wrong to introduce him to the idea of "sloppycopy" and final drafts to get him fluent and comfortable with freestyle writing (at home, not on the homework). Or is that a bad idea since he has great handwriting and beautiful spelling? I just thought it might take some of the pressure off him to know that sometimes it has to look good and sometimes you can just write. Not that it will change your school's inflexible policy.

CAM, u could tell the boy when they pay you as much as they pay your uncle to write computer programs you can write your papers however you want. Until then you're in school and you have to write it like they tell you.

MomT2, sorry they're making you doubt your own sanity. You know what you saw, even if it doesn't fit the program.

We had a similar situation, although we sent our DD to a private Kindergarten at the age of 4 and then grade skipped public Kindergarten and went into 1st Grade at age 5. Our DD started reading at 3 and reads about 5+ years above grade level and is a whiz at math. These are some of the issues that we faced.

At 3, we had our DD in Montessori school, where they learned to trace everything including their letters. They were not taught the proper sequence of writing each individual letter, so the end result was pretty bad. We thought her school would work on this...we were wrong. We ended up teaching her to rewrite each letter correctly in first grade, taking one letter per day and working on it. That helped.

Her gross and fine motor skills developed last. Because she was a full year younger than her peers, her teacher in 1st Grade thought that her writing would improve as she matured. It did, but this is what we found. In 1st Grade, very little of the writing was graded, and the journal she kept was never corrected. Therefore, throughout the school year, she very consistently misspelled the same words over and over again. (We did not find that out until the end of the year when her journals were sent home.) Because she was so far ahead of everyone else, the teachers basically ignored her if favor of helping the struggling kids. (Grrr.)

When we finally had her tested at 6, the psychologist had very good suggestions. She gave her a list of 200 commonly misspelled words to work on. In addition, we developed a spelling dictionary for her to keep at her desk and add the new words that she had trouble spelling. We specifically asked her 2nd Grade teacher to read her journal and continually add new words to her dictionary, plus the teacher allowed the kids to use dictionary.com in her class. Her writing improved substantially.

I can't imagine that someone would try to hold a child back in Kindergarten only because of writing. First grade curriculum is not that much harder and they start writing more then.

One other option in lieu of a full grade skip would be to telescope by subject into the next grade. Most of the time, the telescoping is for math and reading, where the kids go to the next grade level for instruction, but then stay with their age piers for the rest of the day.

With our daughter, the school was initially going to telescope for Math and Reading, although after evaluating her they determined that a full grade skip was in her best interest. She was the top student in 1st Grade even with the grade skip.

As a parent, you need to do what is best for the child. The school should do that too.

Good luck!

Grrr - so they've set up a strawman, one they can easily knock down... Don't question yourself, question them! It sounds to me as though they may well be right that grade skipping isn't in your DS's best interests right now, BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN THEY CAN IGNORE HIS NEEDS! (Sorry for shouting :-) It's their job to help him learn, in all areas, not just the one where he's least advanced. Tell them to do their job, and/or start looking at alternative schools or educational options... you and he shouldn't have to accept this kind of treatment.

Shari, how'd you teach your DS7 to type? BBC Dance Mat only got us so far.

DeeDee