I meet so many adults who constantly dismiss young people's feelings and think reciting "they're just kids" makes it okay, so I just wanted to thank you for respecting your daughter so much. If only more of my students had people at home who would treat them this way.

That is so beautiful to hear - Go Mom gut!!!

Glad you liked the ditty ((shy smile))
Grinity

IMHO at 13 gifted or not, she is still a child. From a teens prespective watching my PG friend in HS with her relationships, which were very,very intense, she wanted to be very mature, but the bottom line is she was not ready for relationship(s) and did not know how to handle it when it went bad. IMHO you need to set whatever appropriate boundries are needed to protect her from herself. I would say this to any parent of a teen. All the best...

Thank you!

Thanks for the tips! It is hard to know sometimes what they are ready for--this parent thing is a tricky road.

Tricky is exactly the right word!!

Grinity, your insights here are extremely helpful; I'm hoping that others will share any additional thoughts about such emotional intensity in what are, truly, quite young teens.

We're tried to lay down some ground rules right from the start-- that "hiding" things from mom and dad is a BIG no-no, no matter what. No deleting texts, no changing e-mail or FB passwords, etc. We do keep (general) track of the tenor of conversations with the boyfriend (or other friends). I've been surprised by the conversations. They are much more like what I'd expect from kids 15-16, which worries/perplexes/relieves me. Mostly I am not sure what it means.

I also have the sense that my DD, only 13, is very much a child in some ways, in spite of her PG intellect and her intensity. I have concerns for what happens when it ends... but also what if it doesn't??


I share the concern of not wanting my DD to have "interest in boys" become a source of... er...enrichment.

(As it was for her mom.)

I remember being insanely jealous at age 13.

Fortunately, there was only minor property damage involved.

That age sounds about right for traumatic romantic obsessions at least.

This is a great thread, despite being old and a little short. It should be dredged up and added to every so often as people have wisdom to contribute.


That article makes a lot of sweeping but questionable statements:


Sure, I suppose that four or more parents of gifted parents have felt that way, along with lots of parents of intellectually normally developing children. The implication that gifted children mature more quickly physically sexually on average is as far as I know without solid evidentiary support. What does seem to be true is that children in general are maturing sexually at younger ages with each passing generation.


In other words, gifted teenaged boys can be horndogs too, and may be no slouches at coming up with obvious rationalizations.


He theorized about overexcitabilities. Here the author asserts as fact that all five exist, and are present in gifted people.


"I'm an eloquent horndog."


What does this even mean? That one young woman witnessed her highly gifted peers having relations in the fifth dimension? That intellectually normally developing teens don't feel deep emotional connections when they have sex?


... and on and on. The article is fluff.

It's a really neat sentence, that's for sure.

To paraphrase Lewis Carroll, I think it means what the reader chooses it to mean - no more and no less.

Thanks, lucounu, for 'reviving' this thread--I probably would'nt have seen it otherwise, but it is timely for me to think about this (I assume in advance, since we just have DD8/almost 9). I am also very grateful to see the very helpful constructive discussion on alternative perspectives about this (very potentially controversial) topic. I think it does really help in certain instances to hear both sides of an issue.