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that happen in our circle too. I Think it is fairly typical. too bad though.

I always worry about trading. My rule is that both sides have to be happy with any trade and no one has to trade anything if they don't want to. That still doesn't always work though.

So sorry!

BTW, was he upset or were the friends (or both)? Not that either any of those scenarios is okay, but I was just wondering in light of your worries.

The situation turned into both boys yelling and crying. When the boy(5) left our house after the trade my son had the card and the boy said it was ok now. Another boy came over later, tricked my DS9 by asking to see his cards and took the card and ran away with it.

My DS went to go after him I said calm down and I will go with you. I was worried someone would get punched. I got involved and tryed to reason for my son. My involvement was really unfair I did not hear every word that is said and I'm partial to my son.
The boy would not give the card I think my DS rightfully won. But it was won from a boy(5) who may not have been old enough to understand. My son was mad at him I didn't get it back. It is always easier for him to be mad at me. His conscience is too harsh for him.
This is all too big. This is story of my life with a very intense gifted boy. We have made progress and I must keep that in mind.

We have the same issue with the "Bakugun" - and even though DS6 is still 6, I don't see him outgrowing the whole melt down over losing a fair game anytime soon. Do you guys have other suggestions on how to get him to achieve this?

We are so far thinking that tutor time should include games with rules. He's still a very sore loser - at anything and everything and wants to win all the time - whether riding bikes, or racing lego cars - and he is an "only" - so even harder for him to be used to coming last. He even turned diving into the pool into a "competetive" sport - he's always yelling out what dive he is going to do to get attention and wants people looking at him - it's like this "huge perfromance". Then 2 weeks ago he started trying to jump the line at the board - and all the older kids got mad at him. He's ultimatey driving people away as much as he attracts children and adults alike to him.

I've seen the victim mentality get worse this month - both over computer games - when he can't beat the computer (!) and when I've put him in time out for being rude. I get the whole embarrassing spiel in public "You hate me, you don't love me, you've never loved me since I was a baby, you don't want this or that for me, it's not fair" ...and blah, blah. I know it's a melt down and that he's going to snap out of it as long as I don't verbally engage him and prolong the agony. He always calms down and apologises. ButI just don't get where the whole "I'm such a victim" thing comes from. And the manipulation of the whole "you don't love me/guilt thing" just seems so intensely crazy coming from a 6 yr old. He'll also start in with the "Fine, well if I can't do this/that - then we are leaving and I'm never coming here again". I've seen him do this with kids too - if they won't play like he wants - he'll often just say "We aren't playing anymore" - or Saturday he started yelling at a child taht he was tupid because he didn't undrstand the game and he ended up punching the air in front of the child thought he didn't actually hit him. When I pull him aside- it's like he's trying to be the adult and pull all the power.

I've gotten to the point where I can contain myself and gently remind him that he can't make those decisions, sorry, he's not the adult or I'll just say "Fine, okay - you want to leave" - gently - not sarcastically - and then he'll start with a 2nd meltdown about how he didn't really mean it. It's just so immature on the one hand - and so scarily "mature/ascyhronous" on the other. I mean, this is the kind of meltdown I expect from a "freaking out" teeanger you know ..not a little kid. If someone could say to me for sure "he'll grow out of it" I'd be fine. But I've seen his step sister melting down up to the age of 11 with full body tantrums - all be it in different life circumstances/household - so sometimes I wonder if it's genetic or just linked to their async intellect somehow?

Oh, are they **winning** cards and not just trading them?

I confess, I KNEW that would be bad and I don't allow my kids to play the game "for keeps." At the age these kids are, it is just destined to cause hurt feelings and poor sportsmanship. That stuff ruins friendships. They can play the game, but the cards lost in the game do NOT become the property of the other player.

Maybe it's time for a rule like that?

We have a new rule no trading, exchanging or winning cards. The cards have been put away for the week. Hopefully they can still have fun with the cards.

Ironmom - My son can be very intense too. Here's what has helped. I have given him lots of time outs over the years that helps. Time out is not a punishment here - it is to gain control.

Look for teachable moments and notice and tell him when he has good selfcontrol. Tell him the self control is in him he needs to believe in himself.

Sometimes when my DS had the big reactions I found it was best just to walk away. We can talk better when everyone is calm.

After the whole summer of missing out on certain computer games my DS just got the privilege back. I warned him he must keep it together or he will be done with those games again for a long time. I told him I know he can do it. I'd like to see him have fun with the games but if they are not right for him now they are out. He knows I mean business and he has been just fine.

I would try to get outside and have some one on one time and love him up. That goes a long way. When things got bad we would go to the zoo or park. A very relaxed day helped.

Hope this helps. It's a long process sometimes - hang in there.

I saw this thread and have been meaning to post for a few days...we had the same issue, a long saga for us. Ds4 or 5 at the time decided he liked the 'Yu Gi Oh' card game best, well he couldn't even read, so we waited to ok this until about 6 or 7. He's now 9, and it's gonna be another few years before other kids are thinking about that one...
Last year he just got so frustrated, he was crying, with not understanding why no one was interested in this super cool game. He said the only boy who did like it told him it wasn't even popular anymore (older/gt boy) , which REALLY broke his heart. I actually kept him home from school he was so messed up about this.
So, last year he got more into Pokemon, several of the boys in his dance class play, so that worked ok. There was 1 incident of trading, and hurt feelings, accusations of unfairness, it is just hard for ds to see it's JUST A CARD, JUST A GAME, etc. But he's getting better at it. He's had some fun with the video games, read some pokemon books and learned a lot of the trivia (great for the SAT's). Anyway, back to dance in another week so I know he's looking forward to playing with those guys, and it really can be a great game to play while waiting around for a practice, etc., to start.
One or two boys that we know well, whom we know to be fair guys works VERY well, and I generally have the 'no trading' rule in place. Once or twice since then ds has explained a pending trade to me, gotten my ok and gone ahead with a trade, which we find to be an ok way to go. Like Kriston said, making sure all sides are happy with it, and can even trade back within a day or two if they regret it. No playing for keeps, that's a good point, too.
The double whamming of losing the game plus losing the cards can just be too much.

There has been several closing and reopening of the Pokemon Kingdom for DS9. Most recently, He made a deck for his sister (who just started playing with him) and she messed it up by mixing with a big pile of cards. DS got mad and punched her on the top of the head. It all just got to intense. So I put all the pokemons stuff away.

He keeps bring up that I have been mean to him and don't want him to have fun. I respond it is his actions that have caused the Pokemon to be put away. This is typical. I think he doesn't want to take in his mistake so he blames me. I told him his is confused and needs time to get more mature to deal with this.

His Pokemon organizing gets so big it can take over the play room despite my efforts with trays and the activity table.

I really do like Pokemon for him. It's a great connection with his best buddy.

DS went to visit a Potential School. They were having a fun day. They played pokemon alot. He skipped his lunch to play. Which can be trouble. It's just such a big obsession.

The Problem is not really the Cards, it's his intensity/drive, and emotional management.

I could really use some parenting advice here about this situation. Is this something he just can't have because the problems repeat?