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    #76779 05/24/10 03:22 PM
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    bh14 Offline OP
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    Well, I am relieved! It's official... we signed off on the paperwork for DC's grade accel! WOOHOO! We knew it was a go but until we officially signed, I felt much better! The mountain has been moved! Now I can rest smile

    Now I have to figure out how to deal with all of the questions that will follow from others next year. Any advice? I don't plan on telling any of her current friends or their parents... I was just going to wait until the class lists came out. Mostly because the school doesn't want a million people calling them about it since it's a first for them too.

    Any tips would be great! Did anyone have issues with kids in the receiving class dealing with it?

    TIA!

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    Congratulations! Good for you and your child smile Nan

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    Val Offline
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    How old is your child? A boy skipped first grade into my son's 2nd grade class a while back, and from what I could tell, the kids in his class (22 of them) barely noticed. The boy integrated into the class and no one treated him differently from anyone else in the class.

    No one has commented on my daughter's skip, either. She's five. She goes to a very small school, though. My son (he's 10; two skips) has also been readily accepted, again at a small school (we changed schools).

    Young kids seem to accept things like this pretty readily, from what I've seen. I think they're still at an age when stuff that teacher or the principal says must be the way it is, if you see what I mean.

    When it comes up, I try to be very matter-of-fact about it: "They tested her, and first grade was a better fit for her."

    HTH,

    Val

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    Congratulations to you and your DC!!

    I'd be so relieved and happy to hear that too. Hasn't happened to us yet, but we haven't stopped trying smile. Ms son is in an external math class for older kids (1-2 years older). He's very small size, so to me, the difference is obvious. But none of the kids in the class have commented or treated him differently, and he seems to get along fine with them.

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    I'm so glad for you! What a relief it must be to have it official!

    We've done a skip for DD8 into 4th and for DS6 into 1st. Really, IME, if there is any "talking" among parents it's generally not from the kids or the parents in the receiving class but from the kids and the parents in their age-appropriate class. It is something to be aware of and to have an answer for. And, generally, it's the parents and not the kids who care. I've found that some parents from the receiving grade know my kids are younger because they hear it from their kids but they also hear from their kids that DS and DD are some of the top students, so they don't question it. On the other hand, the parents from the grade they left behind don't know at what level my kids are academically and don't know all the data that went in to making the decisions to accelerate. From these parents I get some comments about how advanced their kids are, too, or how their kid could skip a grade but they think it's wrong (in general) socially.

    I should make it clear though, IME, any comments we get are totally worth it because we're confident that the accelerations needed to be done. And I should also say that no one, parent or child, has yet to make a negative comment about my kids being young for age to my children or in front of my children. Some kids don't even know there's an age difference. Obviously, it's easier to slip it past the 1st graders than the 4th graders.

    I should also say that my kids have totally bloomed in the older social group and have been fully brought into the fold of the other kids. My kids were lucky to have gotten along socially with same-age kids, but now it's like they can actually be themselves and still fit in. It's been exactly what was needed. They have great friends who really couldn't care less how old they are.

    BTW: We did what you are thinking by not saying anything until class lists came out in the fall, and then only when we were asked. I tend to try to lay low in general since I'm a fairly private person.

    Also, about the school not wanting a lot of requests, we were in the same situation with DD being the first to be accelerated. This year a few other kids had accelerations of their own since DD's was so successful. I've had several parents ask me how we did it and I'm always careful to stress what a long, thorough process it is. I've found that the parents who loudly brag about how advanced their kids are have kids who are bright, but the parents who quietly ask me about our experiences have kids who are more gifted and more likely to actually need acceleration.

    Congratulations on all your hard work paying off!

    Last edited by mnmom23; 05/24/10 05:15 PM.

    She thought she could, so she did.
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    bh14 Offline OP
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    Thanks everyone! Those are just the kinda comments I was looking for. We are skipping 3rd to go into 4th. I have to totally agree that I expect the comments to come from the age level parents as well. I am happy to hear that other kids got accel. when your child was successful as well. I have already been told that we have really paved the way for the future for many people (though as you all said... the process to get here has been LONG LONG LONG.) We prepared our proposal for months and waited til everything was the right time (grade wise, time wise, teacher wise... you name it.) Everyone in the current grade who knows my child makes comments to me like... what are you going to do... my child says your child is sooo smart blah blah blah. So... I don't think most will be shocked at who the child is but more so because they all assume a private school won't do it and that for it to be an option we would have had to leave and go public. I want to wait too because I am also a private person when it comes to this sorta thing to so I thought waiting would be the best thing.
    So.... thank you again! Next week DC will be going up to the classroom with the kids she will be with next year and will spend all day of the whole week with them to shadow and get used to it (they are starting to transition for the following year because they have multiple teachers, lockers, etc.) Thanks again for your input!


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    bh14 Offline OP
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    Oh and while we were told we paved the way, let me add that they are in no hurry to rush out and suggest a skip to anyone, but will know what to do if a parent requests it wink


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    It's a good idea to prep your daughter to say something like: "The Principle decided I should be in 4 grade this year." and change the subject.

    Learning how to change the subject is a good thing to practice.

    You may also want to practice what not to say, such as adding 'because I'm so smart' or 'because I already know everything in 3rd grade' - really any of the 'because's can get one into trouble. We gifties tend to think that we owe other people 'becauses' and that they will care as much as we care would care in their shoes, but that hasn't been my experience. Most folks just want to know that you still like them and that they won't have to do what you are doing.

    You can say the same thing if you wish....you can edit out all the persuading you had to do first - in the end: The principle decided.

    Congratulations!!
    Grinity


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    bh14 Offline OP
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    yes, I've been working on the "what not to say" with DC!

    We have a verbal one here too so changing the subject is a great tool smile.

    Thanks for your input!


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    Congrats! We just experienced it this year, and I "blamed" it on the school and his K teacher. They opted to test him, and they chose to accelerate him. Much easier from my end. I had more issues with parents from K than those from 1st. I am one who adds humor to every "difficult" situation, so I "joked" a lot. The kids never even talked about it with DS - no issues on either side.


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    Congrats!
    I practice the "don't ask, don't say" approach. If no one asks, don't mention anything! Like the others said, most kids accept the child readily. Most of the time, it would be only room mom who knows abt it and some kids telling their parents (in just a matter of fact way). If someone brings it up, just smile and say "it's the school's decision" and change subject. Works everytime because most pple would not probe further.

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    Congratulations! Good job with all your hard work! It always a challenge being the pioneer wink

    Our DS7 accelerated last year, and it has been a great experience and an obvious right choice.

    My only advice would be to refer to it as "acceleration" rather than "grade skipping". We ran into trouble at the beginning of the year with a few other children in the classroom who felt as if DS should have had to take 1st grade like them. With the help of his teacher we were able to have things settle down with those few children by reminding them that DS had already done the 1st grade work and he was ready for 2nd grade.

    Good luck to you and your family!

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    bh14 Offline OP
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    Thanks everyone! I got the tip about about saying "accelerated" from Hoagies too, so obviously an important thing to note wink


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    Thanks Dottie! I KWYM that those kids will find SOMETHING to pick on a kid for regardless. I need to work on the the shoulder shrug. We had some practice with that because DD was getting a different curriculum after the accel. was agreed to and all the kids wanted to know why why why. The good thing was, dd didn't know why other than that "we were working on getting what she needed and to see where she was at." It really bothered her in the beginning but got old after a while so I guess that was good prep.

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    Our son's skip went by much more smoothly than we ever expected. As his teachers predicted, everyone already knew he was advanced anyway, so it really was no big deal.

    We also accelerated him for Scouts, CCD, etc., too. So in most situations the age/grade disconnect just doesn't come up. People who don't know the background just assume he's the same age as their kids.

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    Yay! Congratulations on all your advocacy efforts paying off. We're in the middle of requesting a grade skip, so I know how much stress and work is involved. Yippee - I'm so happy for you and your DD!

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    Cookiemom, that's what I was hoping... most who know her won't be surprised (more surprised that the school did it because they just didn't ever do it). We plan to just move everything along to grade level as far as teams etc to stay on board with it.

    st pauli girl... good luck to you! Your efforts will be rewarded. As you know, it just takes time. Hope to hear of your similar results soon!!! Good luck!

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    I can totally relate to this as we are going through this with our child this year as well. We were told by the school to NOT treat it as a "secret" because we don't want our child to feel it is something to be embarrassed about, but also to feel free to not bring it up unless someone else does, basically to just follow our own comfort level. At the school's suggestion, our child did tell a few friends and it seems to be getting around quietly that way. So far, so good, but we did already get two strange phone calls from different parents calling for obviously pretextual reasons, who then asked for info, so be on the look out for that. Good luck!

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    Berteau, I was kinda hoping it would quietly work it's way out over the summer but the school is definitely all about keeping it secret right now. Ineteresting about the weird calls. GREAT! LOL! We need to start a separate support group! HAHA!

    DC will be going upstairs to shadow the kids that she will then be in class with next year so I am hoping that raises some suspicions and then it starts to slowly leak out so that it's not all at once. I know it's all part of this whole thing though. Let me ask you... has it been done in your school before? I think if more kids did it it wouldn't be such a big deal but because this is new to everyone at our school they are all afraid of what is to come because of it (calls from parents wanting this and that etc.) As I explained to the school, they have now been provided with a great tool with the IAS (that they had no clue about until we met with them) and that if children meet the criteria and they qualify... THAT'S A GOOD PROBLEM TO HAVE!

    Good luck to you and keep me posted. I am sure next week will bare some questions once word gets out that she spent all week in the next grade but luckily there is only 2 days of school left after next week so I may not have to hear all the chit chatting! *biting my nails!*

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    If your DC is going to shadow soon, then I'm guessing the cat will be out of the bag then. That is how it was with our DC anyway. They recently sent our DC to the higher grade for a couple things to at least get her introduced socially to some of the kids she will be with next year. I'm not sure what/if anything the teacher in that grade told the class but the kids seem accepting of her so far. She says some of the kids say hi to her in the hall now, etc.

    Our DC will also be the first in the school to do this but in our case it was at the school's suggestion. They had the IAS already and set up a team to complete it, so maybe they are open to it for other kids also, I really don't know.

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    bh14 Offline OP
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    Yeah, DD was doing the math booth from the grade ahead just to help cover any potential knowledge gaps and some of the kids were all over her about why she was doing it. Once they figure out where she is next week, they might figure it out (though not sure the kids would put two and two together since it's not a common practice?!) I specifically asked what they were telling the other kids and was told "she's just a visitor" so we'll see!!!

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    bh14 Offline OP
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    Also, you are very fortunate the school initiated that since it's never been done! Kudos to them! I think my school pretends that whatever extra the teacher gives is enough wink


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    I meant math book (sorry... can't type as fast as I think wink...)

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