Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy Today was a good day!

Well, I am relieved! It's official... we signed off on the paperwork for DC's grade accel! WOOHOO! We knew it was a go but until we officially signed, I felt much better! The mountain has been moved! Now I can rest

Now I have to figure out how to deal with all of the questions that will follow from others next year. Any advice? I don't plan on telling any of her current friends or their parents... I was just going to wait until the class lists came out. Mostly because the school doesn't want a million people calling them about it since it's a first for them too.

Any tips would be great! Did anyone have issues with kids in the receiving class dealing with it?

TIA!

Congratulations! Good for you and your child Nan

How old is your child? A boy skipped first grade into my son's 2nd grade class a while back, and from what I could tell, the kids in his class (22 of them) barely noticed. The boy integrated into the class and no one treated him differently from anyone else in the class.

No one has commented on my daughter's skip, either. She's five. She goes to a very small school, though. My son (he's 10; two skips) has also been readily accepted, again at a small school (we changed schools).

Young kids seem to accept things like this pretty readily, from what I've seen. I think they're still at an age when stuff that teacher or the principal says must be the way it is, if you see what I mean.

When it comes up, I try to be very matter-of-fact about it: "They tested her, and first grade was a better fit for her."

HTH,

Val

Congratulations to you and your DC!!

I'd be so relieved and happy to hear that too. Hasn't happened to us yet, but we haven't stopped trying . Ms son is in an external math class for older kids (1-2 years older). He's very small size, so to me, the difference is obvious. But none of the kids in the class have commented or treated him differently, and he seems to get along fine with them.

I'm so glad for you! What a relief it must be to have it official!

We've done a skip for DD8 into 4th and for DS6 into 1st. Really, IME, if there is any "talking" among parents it's generally not from the kids or the parents in the receiving class but from the kids and the parents in their age-appropriate class. It is something to be aware of and to have an answer for. And, generally, it's the parents and not the kids who care. I've found that some parents from the receiving grade know my kids are younger because they hear it from their kids but they also hear from their kids that DS and DD are some of the top students, so they don't question it. On the other hand, the parents from the grade they left behind don't know at what level my kids are academically and don't know all the data that went in to making the decisions to accelerate. From these parents I get some comments about how advanced their kids are, too, or how their kid could skip a grade but they think it's wrong (in general) socially.

I should make it clear though, IME, any comments we get are totally worth it because we're confident that the accelerations needed to be done. And I should also say that no one, parent or child, has yet to make a negative comment about my kids being young for age to my children or in front of my children. Some kids don't even know there's an age difference. Obviously, it's easier to slip it past the 1st graders than the 4th graders.

I should also say that my kids have totally bloomed in the older social group and have been fully brought into the fold of the other kids. My kids were lucky to have gotten along socially with same-age kids, but now it's like they can actually be themselves and still fit in. It's been exactly what was needed. They have great friends who really couldn't care less how old they are.

BTW: We did what you are thinking by not saying anything until class lists came out in the fall, and then only when we were asked. I tend to try to lay low in general since I'm a fairly private person.

Also, about the school not wanting a lot of requests, we were in the same situation with DD being the first to be accelerated. This year a few other kids had accelerations of their own since DD's was so successful. I've had several parents ask me how we did it and I'm always careful to stress what a long, thorough process it is. I've found that the parents who loudly brag about how advanced their kids are have kids who are bright, but the parents who quietly ask me about our experiences have kids who are more gifted and more likely to actually need acceleration.

Congratulations on all your hard work paying off!

Thanks everyone! Those are just the kinda comments I was looking for. We are skipping 3rd to go into 4th. I have to totally agree that I expect the comments to come from the age level parents as well. I am happy to hear that other kids got accel. when your child was successful as well. I have already been told that we have really paved the way for the future for many people (though as you all said... the process to get here has been LONG LONG LONG.) We prepared our proposal for months and waited til everything was the right time (grade wise, time wise, teacher wise... you name it.) Everyone in the current grade who knows my child makes comments to me like... what are you going to do... my child says your child is sooo smart blah blah blah. So... I don't think most will be shocked at who the child is but more so because they all assume a private school won't do it and that for it to be an option we would have had to leave and go public. I want to wait too because I am also a private person when it comes to this sorta thing to so I thought waiting would be the best thing.
So.... thank you again! Next week DC will be going up to the classroom with the kids she will be with next year and will spend all day of the whole week with them to shadow and get used to it (they are starting to transition for the following year because they have multiple teachers, lockers, etc.) Thanks again for your input!

Oh and while we were told we paved the way, let me add that they are in no hurry to rush out and suggest a skip to anyone, but will know what to do if a parent requests it

It's a good idea to prep your daughter to say something like: "The Principle decided I should be in 4 grade this year." and change the subject.

Learning how to change the subject is a good thing to practice.

You may also want to practice what not to say, such as adding 'because I'm so smart' or 'because I already know everything in 3rd grade' - really any of the 'because's can get one into trouble. We gifties tend to think that we owe other people 'becauses' and that they will care as much as we care would care in their shoes, but that hasn't been my experience. Most folks just want to know that you still like them and that they won't have to do what you are doing.

You can say the same thing if you wish....you can edit out all the persuading you had to do first - in the end: The principle decided.

Congratulations!!
Grinity

yes, I've been working on the "what not to say" with DC!

We have a verbal one here too so changing the subject is a great tool .

Thanks for your input!

Congrats! We just experienced it this year, and I "blamed" it on the school and his K teacher. They opted to test him, and they chose to accelerate him. Much easier from my end. I had more issues with parents from K than those from 1st. I am one who adds humor to every "difficult" situation, so I "joked" a lot. The kids never even talked about it with DS - no issues on either side.