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#233127 - 08/24/16 02:07 AM
Re: A question from a gifted adult.
[Re: ACh]
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Junior Member
Registered: 10/06/14
Posts: 9
Loc: Berlin, Germany
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Is there such a thing as a forum for gifted adults (that’s free)? All I can find are for parents with gifted children. I see things I struggle with are discussed here, though spanning over some years, I see.
I feel that for me the issue isn’t so much about whether others are “morons” or not, but this devastating isolation. I can give myself mental stimulation by reading, writing, etc., but nothing compares to the experience of being nurtured by evolving with like-minded people. I am increasingly shying away from social situations because not only is it one-dimensional (and it’s uncomfortable to feel that way about other people) but also there is a lot of power games, which is an utter waste of time, stupid, and in order to maintain any social contacts on peaceful terms, I find myself making myself appear stupider than them so that they won’t get competitive with me. Otherwise people regard me as some sort of a mentor. These are people who consider themselves creatives and intellectuals. I don’t consider myself such a smart person, I rather want to be guided and taught, but above all be equal to the others. It’s such a paradoxical feeling, exhausting.
Even my psychotherapist, who is not a bad therapist generally, unwittingly says things that are deflating, discouraging, and sometimes even insulting. I understand where he is coming from, it’s probably just that he is not the right therapist for people like me. He also thinks that I have a paranoia of *feeling* like I am always misunderstood. I don’t think it’s a “feeling”…
Who feels that a day is too short to read all the books and make music and experience nature and watch news and learn a language and ruminate over trivial things in their lives to magnify and expand their inner worlds, and then get paralysed by the avalanche of visions? Who feels that we are here with a purpose, no matter how small and hidden, and are driven to extend beyond personal fulfilment and contribute to the excellence of human civilisation? Who feels that humanity has not given itself enough words and wants to simply let themselves drop in the middle of a room at the impossibility of our existence? Where are the people with inspirations running through their veins?
I feel suffocated. It’s like I accidentally trapped myself in an upside down world. And the worst is when I convince myself that I am crazy.
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#233129 - 08/24/16 04:55 AM
Re: A question from a gifted adult.
[Re: ACh]
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Member
Registered: 06/30/16
Posts: 289
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There is an adult section here. Barely used, but let's start! I posted there yesterday!
I struggle to find community where I'm not a mentor/leader and not having to constantly play politics to manage threats of malicious envy. I'm tired of dumbing down my vocabulary. I'm tried of random people - strangers - telling me I'm so "bright" and "smart". I'm tired of being judged for NOT having local friends.
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#233132 - 08/24/16 06:00 AM
Re: A question from a gifted adult.
[Re: sanne]
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Member
Registered: 04/27/13
Posts: 4978
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There is an adult section here. Barely used, but let's start! I posted there yesterday! The gifted adult forum is here. 
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#233282 - 08/28/16 10:50 AM
Re: A question from a gifted adult.
[Re: ACh]
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Member
Registered: 02/19/14
Posts: 52
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When I was young I had a long conversations with 2 other gifted students, one who attended a private school and another a public school. One was taught through his schooling and another via other gifted individuals to always hide their true everything in front of anyone outside their peer group. Both had been taught an extensive and elaborate system or neuro-languistics, vocabulary, dress style and so forth to look "average" projecting an IQ of no more than 100 and slightly outgoing yet oblivious.
I however had always found this questionable, and often objected to it at times which was met with much contempt. Sure it looks like a great tool for survival and an easy life, but basically advances 4 negatives: 1. Having to put on such an act drains you. If you have few or not friends it becomes an existential death. 2. It makes it harder for gifted people to find one another. 3. It can and does at times create elitist groups. 4, and perhaps the biggest peeve of mine: it yet again sets the limits on what society perceives. Suddenly no one ever sees anything over 105. A teacher who encounters 10 gifted students in 15 years all of which are hiding it will become very alarmed when student number 11 comes along being themselves. In my eyes it is a massive disservice aiding the dumbing down of society which is in itself a conspiracy. People understand what is common, not what looks like a freak oddity.
As you would guess, such views did not make me well liked.
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#240692 - 12/12/17 06:07 AM
Re: A warning from a gifted adult.
[Re: ACh]
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Junior Member
Registered: 10/02/16
Posts: 3
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I just rejoined when I read this post. WONDERFUL! Is it a gift or a curse? I am so frustrated with caregivers I end up yelling or sending subtle "you are an idiot" emails. Im 62 and disabled. I lived in NYC where the best of the best go, for 30 years. My doctors were very good. Now I live in a log cabin in the mountains (which I love) and I can't believe the incompetence here. I have been dysregulated and angry for a long time and my therapists don't get that I not only have a high IQ but many other issues that cause anger and frustration. My current therapist is very smart but she tells me not to research my diagnoses or medications and to stay out of forums. Ive had horrible, incurable dry mouth that rotted my teeth since 2010. I put my meds and side effects in excel and discovered 10 medications and all my OTC drugs cause dry mouth. 10 doctors didn't see that. I had a gifted/intuitive trauma therapist I loved and she died. I never felt invalidated or angry with her and though my current one is smart, she is so stubborn and dogmatic I leave in a rage. I did better when I self medicated.
I tried to get in Mensa but I'm a visual spatial learner and creatively gifted so I blundered the test. For years I had gifted friends I communicated with telepathically and now I'm too sick to get out much. I really enjoy this forum. I get the validation I need.
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#240694 - 12/12/17 08:39 AM
Re: A warning from a gifted adult.
[Re: ACh]
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Member
Registered: 06/30/16
Posts: 289
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Hi Kit Kat! Disabled and intelligent is a tough one, isn't it?!! I am so "over" doctors. I had/have 12 misdiagnoses over 13 years, by 11 doctors. Unbelievable! I figured out my actual condition with my friend Google, and then medical testing verified my diagnosis was correct. Validating! But knowing more about the condition than the doctors is defeating!
I've also moved to a rural area. I physically can't keep up with social demands. Fortunately, I stumbled upon a neighbor family that is highly intelligent. I'm not well enough to see them often, but it's fuel for the soul to meet with similar people.
I am deeply frustrated that my condition comes with transient but chronic cerebral hypoperfusion/hypoxia, so I'm often cognitively impaired. I suppose the silver lining is the experience helps me relate to a wider range of people. But it prevents me from learning, reading heavy, and creating. Is there anything worst than being an extremely talented artist and being unable to master your craft?
I'm sorry you're struggling to get the therapy and treatments you need. It's very hard. (((Hugs)))
Edited by sanne (12/12/17 09:41 PM)
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#240706 - 12/12/17 09:42 PM
Re: A warning from a gifted adult.
[Re: ACh]
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Member
Registered: 06/30/16
Posts: 289
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Thank you for the book suggestion @indigo! It looks interesting! The library system here has it! I've put in a request and will be impatiently waiting for it to arrive.
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#240708 - 12/13/17 08:12 AM
Re: A warning from a gifted adult.
[Re: ACh]
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Member
Registered: 02/04/16
Posts: 278
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In my case, the problem isn't the level of intelligence of those around me (I am in a pretty good profession for it and live in a neighborhood full of professionals). My issues are my voracious appetite for books (for me and for kiddos) and my weird thirst for learning (instruments, languages, cooking, science, history, etc. etc. etc.). I do tend to minimize that a bit just so that I won't appear too odd to those around me and I share with those who share the same passions.
I have found a pretty cool website - Your Rainforest Mind by Paula Prober. It really appeals to me. You might want to check it out.
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