Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Learning Environments Homeschooling with several young children

Hi -- this is my first post, though I've enjoyed reading these boards for quite a while.

My husband and I have four children, aged infant through 6. The older two show every indication of being gifted, and I'm guessing the younger two will turn out to be as well. After several fairly disastrous attempts at preschool, I've been homeschooling them all for the last month or so. They're enjoying it, and seem to be learning a lot, but I am just TOAST.

It's funny; I've been attracted to homeschooling ever since I first heard of it back in 5th grade, but I always pictured school-aged children sitting at a table, working through a traditional structured curriculum, maybe even something boxed (ha ha ha). Then in the afternoons, the whole family would go on lovely outings to nature preserves and science museums. In this dream world, nobody would need a three hour nap, or have some icky communicable toddler illness that gets passed around for weeks, or eat the botany specimens. Nobody would blow through half a year's worth of math (which was two years above age level) in three days. Nobody would be facing the prospect of doing fourth grade language arts with kindergarten penmanship. Nobody would get out of bed at 9:00 PM and beg me over and over to do more Hooked on Phonics. (I guess it really does live up to its name, LOL.)

We're getting a full time mother's helper for the summer, which will give me some much needed down time. I'm not sure if she'll be able to help with the homeschooling, though. We tried it a little when she was here last summer, and it didn't work out, because even the most straightforward workbook seemed to need a lot of on-the-fly modifications (oral vs. written, skip the easy questions, etc.). She's an intelligent college student who'd be glad to help, but how can I explain what to do when I can barely figure it out myself?! And even if I could, it will probably have changed by the next day anyway.

Maybe I need to set some limits... say, an hour of school per child per day. Of course, then I'd have to find some other way to channel all that mental energy. Otherwise, DS would be off disassembling the lawn sprinkler system, and DD would be going bug-eyed reading chapter books for hours on end. Argh.

Despite the crabby tone, I am really enjoying having them with me all day. They are really sweet together (usually) and very funny. There have been some priceless moments, and I'm sure there will be lots more to come. I just need a few more of me to go around.

Anyone who's been in this situation, is there now, or just has some ideas... I would love to hear from you!

I don't expect my kids to do any sit down academics until they are 4, and then it might be an hour a day maximum- usually spread out over several hours. When the kids are small, we spend lots of time reading together, doing hands on learning, and just observing and discussing. We've never completely unschooled, but I definitely lean toward unstructured and child-led in the early elementary years. Works for us! My kids are presently young adult down to age 5, and we've been homeschooling for about nine years.

Just to clarify, when I say "homeschooling," I mean everything we do all day that contributes to their intellectual, physical, or social formation... games, crafts, conversations, etc. The only ones who are doing any sit-down academics are 4.5 year old DS (math and phonics), and 6 year old DD (math, handwriting, and language arts). A lot of the math is hands-on, using puzzles, manipulatives, or whatever I find in the kitchen. As for expectations, I don't really have any, as they're already above age level in everything except handwriting. They're the ones who keep asking to do more! DS would do math and phonics all day and night if he could. He wiggles through it all, and his eyes start to glaze over, but he's always disappointed when we stop. I don't think he does much more than an hour of seatwork altogether, certainly less than two hours.

So, much of our day consists of stuff any family with young children would be doing, but the gifted angle seems to make it more intense. I'm not a high-energy person, and I need some outside help at this point, but I can't figure out how to make it work in terms of planning and scheduling.

Okay, here's my thought:

My son is 12, and is taking the babysitting class this summer. Two friends, both with triplets, have asked if they could hire him on a semi-regular basis as a baby wrangler. He's good with littles, and being 12, he works cheap.

Could you possibly make arrangements with some of the homeschooled teens or middle schoolers in your area to hire one as a once- or twice- a week aide? Either the older kid would help get one or two of the bigger ones focused onto a project they could do together (and how cool would it be to have a "big brother" of sorts if you're a 4-5yo boy?), or he could shepherd the littles while you work with the older two.

I was hoping someone would come up with something fantasic that I could use too. The magic fix-it-all-pill.

No magic pills yet, sorry. I've tried chocolate chips, but they only worked for a little while.

Things seem to be coming together a bit better in the last few days. When it came to homeschooling the older two, I had been envisioning myself as more of a tutor to semi-independent learners, but I've realized that that's unrealistic at this point. The children are looking for a lot more guidance and direction, and they also enjoy and benefit from doing things together with their siblings. As a result, I've eliminated most of the one-on-one work, and we're doing more of what I'd describe as "group preschool with extreme differentiation." It's a bit of a headache managing them all at once (especially when the toddler keeps interrupting), but they enjoy it a lot, and we can get a lot more done this way.

In other happy news, our mother's helper will be starting in a few days. Rather than have her take charge of one or two children for specific chunks of time, I think I'm just going to ask her to be a general assistant with whatever we're doing. I think between the two of us, we should be able to put together a pretty good version of Asynchronous Romper Room. (Though I doubt it would ever be judged fit for broadcast, except maybe on the science fiction channel.)

Great to hear

Good luck LIghthousekeeper! Let us know how it goes. I have 3 (almost 10, 7, and 3yrs old) and it can get crazy.

Once I realized that I needed to toss all preconceived ideas of what school should look like things got much better. I do keep my kids in the same time period for history and the same discipline for science so that might be helpful as they get older. It sounds like you are doing fine. I keep this list on my fridge for those really stressful days.

*Home schooling is time-consuming, hard work.
*Housework suffer. Books and science experiments and papers are all over the house.
*Everyone wants to quit at some point during the school year.
*The kids aren't always perfect, and you can't blame it on school or on other friends.
*Grandparents may think you're ruining your children.
*The neighbors will probably tell you that you're crazy.

I took these from The Well Trained Mind and just eliminated those that didn't apply and printed them in big letters on my fridge, right below a quote from Isaiah, and the Calvin and Hobbes snowflake cartoon. Together they remind me of what I'm doing and why.

I have also found a lot of strength from other women here and on the Well Trained Mind forum who also have multiple children and GT children, who if nothing else will listen and understand.
I wish there was a magic pill. I also have to keep in mind that this is a process and we have lots of time, especially with their pacing.

Some sanity savers that I'm sure you have some across, Reading Eggs, Starfall, for younger kids MUS DVD's and manipulatives are a big hit, anything Leap Frog. For me our local YMCA is a lifesaver. My older kids do the Homeschool Gym and Swim program and my youngers can go to child watch for two hours of down time for me. We also love their pools for family time.

For me the intensity is the hardest part.

Thanks, everyone.

For me, the hardest part is trying to avoid the comparison game. It's funny you mentioned WTM, Mel, because something about that board seems to bring that out in me (though, once I get past those feelings, it's a great resource). Same goes for reading about what the children do at some of the gifted schools in our region. It's not that I want my children to be "farther ahead" than other people's... it's just that I'm not sure if they're really being challenged enough, because we spend so little time on organized learning or in-depth projects.

Along those lines, I wanted to share that I've come up with some ideas for family-oriented, open-ended summer activities that DH and our helper will be able to participate in.

1) We've started learning a foreign language together at the breakfast table, using a simple, mostly oral approach (pretty much just a word or phrase a day). Much verbal humor and general silliness ensues, which is a good thing, as some of us sleep-deprived grown-ups tend to be a little grouchy in the morning.

2) In a few weeks, we'll be starting The Private Eye. This a method of exploring nature by looking at objects through jeweler's loupes, then describing what you see by means of analogies, poems, and art. DH, a science-oriented guy, is just as excited as I am about this.

3) For those times when it's too hot to go outside, I've stashed away Part 1 of a "living books" elementary history curriculum, and will be bringing selected books out one by one for read-aloud only (i.e., DD can't haul them off to her room and read them all in an afternoon).

The children are also signed up for several community center activities, and the library is right next door to the CC, making it easy to pick up new books related to the above. So I'm no longer dreading the summer; it's starting to sound like fun.

And just in time, because we're hitting another hairpin turn. My 2 year old just announced that she wants to "do school too," AND she's started climbing out of her crib, so we have to move her to a bed. She's a real wild card; she was diagnosed at birth with a neurological disorder and is considered high risk for developmental delay, but in some ways she seems even smarter than her siblings. I'm going to post over in 2E about her, when I get another free moment.