Gifted Bulletin Board

Welcome to the Gifted Issues Discussion Forum.

We invite you to share your experiences and to post information about advocacy, research and other gifted education issues on this free public discussion forum.
CLICK HERE to Log In. Click here for the Board Rules.

Links


Learn about Davidson Academy Online - for profoundly gifted students living anywhere in the U.S. & Canada.

The Davidson Institute is a national nonprofit dedicated to supporting profoundly gifted students through the following programs:

  • Fellows Scholarship
  • Young Scholars
  • Davidson Academy
  • THINK Summer Institute

  • Subscribe to the Davidson Institute's eNews-Update Newsletter >

    Free Gifted Resources & Guides >

    Who's Online Now
    0 members (), 167 guests, and 10 robots.
    Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
    Newest Members
    parentologyco, Smartlady60, petercgeelan, eterpstra, Valib90
    11,410 Registered Users
    March
    S M T W T F S
    1 2
    3 4 5 6 7 8 9
    10 11 12 13 14 15 16
    17 18 19 20 21 22 23
    24 25 26 27 28 29 30
    31
    Previous Thread
    Next Thread
    Print Thread
    Page 2 of 5 1 2 3 4 5
    cym #7590 01/20/08 10:57 AM
    Joined: Sep 2007
    Posts: 6,145
    Member
    Offline
    Member
    Joined: Sep 2007
    Posts: 6,145
    Yes, I'm *all about* the common courtesy. If anything, I'm a hard-you-know-what about behavior, DEFINTELY not a pushover! So I don't entirely buy the "learned behavior" thing. It's a bit too much "blame the mother" for my taste. And since I do NOT tolerate that behavior, I know that's not fair.

    I do find that he behaves worse when I haven't spent as much time with him, so I usually figure it's an attention-getting move on his part.


    Kriston
    Kriston #7595 01/20/08 11:25 AM
    Joined: Sep 2007
    Posts: 1,134
    K
    Member
    Offline
    Member
    K
    Joined: Sep 2007
    Posts: 1,134
    cym - that is so interesting about the high school friends. My DS7 who is only in 1st grade has recently befriended some boys in his class that I strongly suspect have MUCH older siblings. He comes home every day from school lately talking like a rapper in a very disrespectful tone. It is not helping me want to make this school work out at all! We've really had to lay down the law lately and it makes me so sad! He's only 7! After a weekend at home, he's his sweet, huggy 45 lb self again.

    kimck #7596 01/20/08 11:35 AM
    Joined: Sep 2007
    Posts: 6,145
    Member
    Offline
    Member
    Joined: Sep 2007
    Posts: 6,145
    Ugh, Kim! frown So sorry!


    Kriston
    Kriston #7606 01/20/08 03:25 PM
    Joined: Jan 2008
    Posts: 830
    Member
    Offline
    Member
    Joined: Jan 2008
    Posts: 830
    Originally Posted by Kriston
    Yes, I'm *all about* the common courtesy. If anything, I'm a hard-you-know-what about behavior, DEFINTELY not a pushover! So I don't entirely buy the "learned behavior" thing. It's a bit too much "blame the mother" for my taste. And since I do NOT tolerate that behavior, I know that's not fair.

    I do find that he behaves worse when I haven't spent as much time with him, so I usually figure it's an attention-getting move on his part.


    You jumped to the wrong conclusion on where the child learned the behavior, if you are referring to my comment. Look at how much press Brittney Spears and her younger sister get. Look how popular the "Bratz" dolls are. Watch the commercials and see the attitude children are giving the adults. Talk to elementary school teachers, ones who have taught more than 10 years, and ask them if younger and younger children are showing more 'attitude'.
    I'm sorry you apparently thought I was blaming you, but a 5 year old with 'attitude' is not suffering hormone issues unless you're dealing with a malfunctioning hormone system. It's a learned behavior.

    Joined: Mar 2007
    Posts: 797
    acs Offline
    Member
    Offline
    Member
    Joined: Mar 2007
    Posts: 797
    OHGrandma is right. If DS watches any Nicholodian shows, the attitude shows up right away. Or is with certain friends. This has been the case since he was in preschool and continues now. He does not see the difference, but we do. I just say, that is how the characters on the shows talk to their parents, but it is not how you speak to us. Or if he has been with friends all day, I tell him that it's OK to talk to close friends that way, but not to adults. He did not get it at first, but I see how he switches back and forth pretty easily now.

    I will say that sometimes DH and I do get a little sassy with each other too. So I will take some responsibility as one of those less than perfect role models.

    acs #7608 01/20/08 04:20 PM
    Joined: Sep 2007
    Posts: 1,134
    K
    Member
    Offline
    Member
    K
    Joined: Sep 2007
    Posts: 1,134
    Ha acs! My husband and I do tend to have a brand of dry humor that flies around the house at times that probably doesn't help DS at all either!

    We don't have cable at home anymore just to avoid those horrible programs that are broadcast on Nick, cartoon network, etc these days. Although, my kids watch movies and you can hardly unglue them from the cable when they go visit their grandparents. DS definitely goes through the attitude after these visits with the cable.

    We are definitely having issues with the tone of the boys DS is in love with at school right now. They sound like the watch unlimited sponge bob or worse. They both have longish hair too. Just waiting for DS to decide he isn't going to get any more haircuts! crazy

    Last edited by kimck; 01/20/08 04:22 PM.
    Dottie #7611 01/20/08 04:56 PM
    Joined: Nov 2007
    Posts: 516
    Member
    Offline
    Member
    Joined: Nov 2007
    Posts: 516
    Both DS10 and DS6 have "longish hair" as it is also considered "cool" around here. But we don't have any angst either! smile But then they've never been allowed to watch Sponge bob and all those other kinds of shows. I very much dislike the way the characters are so disrespectful but I can also see that they could be used as a teaching tool for how not to act. As Dottie says about her kids, mine are young too and I am sure my angst ridden days are before me. crazy

    Joined: Sep 2007
    Posts: 6,145
    Member
    Offline
    Member
    Joined: Sep 2007
    Posts: 6,145
    Originally Posted by OHGrandma
    You jumped to the wrong conclusion on where the child learned the behavior, if you are referring to my comment. Look at how much press Brittney Spears and her younger sister get. Look how popular the "Bratz" dolls are. Watch the commercials and see the attitude children are giving the adults. Talk to elementary school teachers, ones who have taught more than 10 years, and ask them if younger and younger children are showing more 'attitude'.
    I'm sorry you apparently thought I was blaming you, but a 5 year old with 'attitude' is not suffering hormone issues unless you're dealing with a malfunctioning hormone system. It's a learned behavior.


    But my 6yo boy doesn't know who Brittney Spears is, and he doesn't play with Bratz dolls. He's home schooled, and none of his friends are bratty kids (or he wouldn't see them anymore!). The only TV he watches is PBS or Discovery Channel edu-tainment. The closest thing he sees to a bad attitude is what's exhibited by one or another of the trains on a "Thomas the Tank Engine" show...and then we discuss why the train's bad behavior is not okay!

    Of course he's not suffering from hormones, but he does pull an attitude with me from time-to-time. If it's strictly a learned behavior, then I'm the one he's learning it from...and he's NOT learning it from me!

    What I'm saying is that I think some part of normal development involves "attitude." That's not to say it's okay. (It's certainly not okay in my house!) But I think that acting out and being reined in by authority figures is a normal part of growing up. It's also a way that a kid who's still pretty young emotionally can say, "Hey, Mom, I need more of your attention."


    Kriston
    EandCmom #7617 01/20/08 06:08 PM
    Joined: Sep 2007
    Posts: 1,134
    K
    Member
    Offline
    Member
    K
    Joined: Sep 2007
    Posts: 1,134
    I just think little boys with the short "little man" hair cut are so darn cute! I've always kept DS's hair short. But if he wants the long hair, he can definitely have it. But the attitude must go! DS has chameleon tendancies - wants to fit in with whoever he is with. When he's truly himself, he's sweet, empathetic, sensitive. He likes school socially, but hasn't necessarily found a great peer group there where he can just be himself. He's on a very short leash for media access at home.

    I do have a 12 year old nephew with quite a mop of hair, and he's adorable in it. I'm sure it's just a matter of time until we have one at our house!

    kimck #7618 01/20/08 06:53 PM
    Joined: Mar 2007
    Posts: 797
    acs Offline
    Member
    Offline
    Member
    Joined: Mar 2007
    Posts: 797
    I DO think there is a place for attitude. I just don't want him to be that way all the time. I do think there is a tough guy in him and I want him to be able to express it as well as the sweet sensitive guy. Both of them are part of DS's real self. In our family, it is about context and control. That means he gets to experiment with different personas and learn how to manage them all. Sometimes that means making mistakes and dealing with consequences.

    We don't have cable and DS hardly watches any TV (maybe an hour a week), so DS only gets Nick at his grandparents' house and Cartoon Network (in Spanish) when we are in Central America. His friends are mostly very nice and each set seems to bring out a slightly different part of him, but boy-play can be rough physcically and emotionally.

    I highly recommend a book called Raising Cain:Protecting the Emotional Life of Boys by Kindlon and Thompson. It really helped me understand my brothers, husband, and now my son.


    Page 2 of 5 1 2 3 4 5

    Moderated by  M-Moderator, Mark D. 

    Link Copied to Clipboard
    Recent Posts
    Testing with accommodations
    by aeh - 03/27/24 01:58 PM
    Quotations that resonate with gifted people
    by indigo - 03/27/24 12:38 PM
    For those interested in astronomy, eclipses...
    by indigo - 03/23/24 06:11 PM
    California Tries to Close the Gap in Math
    by thx1138 - 03/22/24 03:43 AM
    Gifted kids in Illinois. Recommendations?
    by indigo - 03/20/24 05:41 AM
    Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5