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    Joined: Jun 2009
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    I'd been wondering whether I should stay away from nutrition talk as it wasn't really the focus of this thread... but now that someone else brought it up (thanks passthepotatoes) I was thinking to say sort of the opposite about vitamins. That they should be individually tailored and each one given if the diet looks deficient -- but maybe not otherwise. Often with behavior issues vitamins are the first thing tried and I wonder if occasionally it can make it worse. Following PTPs (that's passthepotatoes) point about work-up, rather than just trying supplements, one can test folate and B12, D, and iron and zinc etc, whatever one has the ability to get tested, and then go from there. With the increasing supplementation of kid's snack-foods, cereals and breads etc, it's actually possible with an added supplement to get too much of a good thing.

    I think it's also possible for people to be individually sensitive to vitamins or other supplements moreso than others. For me and DS it's B vitamins and zinc. Either is like giving us 4 cups of coffee (and we normally behave as if we'd had a couple cups already).

    Here's a great website for looking up the amounts of various vitamins and nutrients in foods both natural foods and processed cereals etc.

    http://www.nal.usda.gov/fnic/foodcomp/search/

    Okay end of divergence onto nutrition.

    Polly

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    Wyldkat Offline OP
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    high lead level: tested low

    low iron level: tested about once a year, always lower end of normal to average

    allergies: tested no gluten, food, animal or common ones. definitely some local environmental ones and is on claritin and/or benedryl for them. chose no further testing on this at this point since the next test is a skin prick and he won't deal well with that. Also it's not like we can keep him indoors when whatever they are are in bloom.

    zinc deficiency: Not sure if this has been tested.

    side effects of medications: None that we know of. He is often on claritin, benedryl and albuteral. I haven't linked any behaviors to the medicines.

    sleep disorders: Due to the allergies he has some snoring, possibly enlarged adnoids. Have chosen not to go farther with this since the snoring isn't severe or often, doesn't disrupt his sleep and surgery for adnoid removal is just not something I want to deal with him with right now.

    1. Meals and sleep routine are pretty regular when he's not having a bad day. He stopped taking naps at maybe 18 months, but sleeps 11-12 hours a night. Problem is he doesn't sleep through the night when he's having a bad time.

    It's been raining a lot so outdoors hasn't been much of a choice, but they do a lot of running indoors and we have a mini-trampoline he uses when we can convince him too.

    We need to get food in him every three hours or the tantrums get worse. Problem is he doesn't eat on command...

    2. We're not big TV people. It's normally only on for little kids cartoons for a bit in the morning and then in the late evening on Discovery. Right now or main goal is getting out of the house without a tantrum and getting to bed without a tantrum. I am a STRONG believer in only fighting the big battles!

    3. They eat mostly fruit, veggies and whole grains. Protein is mostly cheese, milk, yogurt, nuts. They do get one candy or sweet kiddie treat, 8 oz watered down juice and 8 oz weak chocolate milk a day and chicken nuggets and fries every so often, maybe once a week. Both take a kids multi, pretty balanced one. No fish oil though, he can't swallow pills yet and there is no way I'm going to try to spoon fish oil into him!!! LOL Is there a kid friendly affordable option?

    4. My husband takes them in the morning so I can sleep in since I get up with him at night. He also takes the main role in the evenings after work. I've been working very hard on getting some evenings off, joined a knitting group, going to a concert, etc... Mother-in-Law moving down will actually take some pressure off of me when Bear finally adjusts to it. We'll have someone else we can trust to watch him.

    Thank you. smile Back story is necessary with kids like him, it's just an encyclopedia! I do need reminders to take care of myself on a regular basis.

    Last edited by Wyldkat; 04/18/10 10:49 PM.
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    Wyldkat Offline OP
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    Grinity, I've read the website on Nurtured Heart Approach and have tried implementing it at home. So far it seems to be helping a little and every little bit counts!

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    Hi,

    I've seen your posts many times, but I am not sure how old your son is since my advice will be different based on his age. So sorry you are having such a tough time. It can be so disheartening to have things be such a struggle. My oldest DD, 3 going on 4, went through very difficult phases and my 2.3 year old has a terrible temper, so I know how draining it can be. I never took time for myself when things were at their worst so I am glad you are making time for yourself and also having him help you sleep in etc. Building up your reserve of patience can help quite a bit. Hang in there!

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    Wyldkat Offline OP
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    Sorry, Bear is 3 years 2 months right now.

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    Oh, Wylkat! I have nothing to add but HUGS and sympathy! It will pass or at least fade.

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    You should request, in writing, an evaluation from the school district, specifying everything you think may be wrong. From age 3 they are legally required to evaluate for disabilities. Many children are brushed off, but if you make the request in writing, they have 60 school days to get it done.

    You can get advice on how to do this at the Wrightslaw website or in the book From Emotion to Advocacy. Important stuff for you to know going forward.

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    Wyldkat Offline OP
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    Thanks. We've been through the district evaluation and were told that he has issues that need help, but he doesn't qualify for their aid. I was told there was nothing they could do excapt give me advice and verbal support until he got to K and got an IEP (which I was told would happen very quickly if things don't improve).

    On top of all of that it looks like the insurance won't work for the therapy place we were referred to so now it's off to find some place that will take it! ARGH! Sigh....

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    That sounds very fishy to me: no help until K, and an immediate IEP at that point? Yes, preschool special ed services are expensive, but they are legally mandated for kids who need them. Your district is evading its responsibility.

    If he has deficits in any area covered by your state's education standards for preschool (which usually include things like social communication), the district is probably obligated to provide remedial services.

    Does your state have a free Legal Rights Service that helps defend people with disabilities? Or is there an educational advocate in your area? I'd be inclined to make some phone calls and get some support in getting your district to do its job. Early intervention isn't the only thing, but it matters.

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    Dee Dee,

    I went through the same thing raising my ADHD son. This is very hard and you have my sympathy. Just remember, you will get through this and so will your son. Never give up on him; you will find that as you and he progress through this that you will need to keep adjusting strategies as he gets older. I checked out about 10 books on ADHD and read them all once he was diagnosed. They all had some good recommendations and I tried to remember the advice and apply it to my parenting style. It was hard at first because I was raised in a disciplinarian style and kept wanting to revert to punishment methods. These methods do not work for ADHD kids... You probably already know that by now.


    Here is what I found effective:
    1. One of the biggest things I did that had positive impact on the tantrums was a result of reading that ADHD kids have extreme difficulty transitioning from one activity to another.

    2. It is best to stay with routines to help lower their stress at changes.

    3. Carefully review your daily plans and discuss your plans with your son. Explain how the day will be different from usual and what your expectation is for his behavior for that situation/ event.

    4. After explaining your expectations or what are socially acceptable ways of behaving for that situation, try to think of a reward you could give him if he follows your directions. For ADHD kids, immediate (same day) positive reinforcement works and delayed rewards are not generally effective.

    For example: �Tomorrow we will visit Grandpa for dinner. They usually eat later in the day. There will be adults at the table. We expect best table manners. Best table manners mean ��..�

    Reward: should happen same day- stop and get baseball cards on the way home or have friend over for popsicles before bedtime, etc... It is good to involve your child in setting the reward so that the reward is something that they really want.

    In addition to talking to your son about changes in schedule before the day starts, it is also important to give notice to your son in advance of imminent changes in activities. For example, tell him that bedtime is in 15 minutes, he can play with friend or at park for 15 more minutes, etc.. When ADHD kids are advised of this shortly before the change, they are better able to handle the change without tantrums.

    The other major thing I did with my son during his early years was to set a weekly goal for behavior/ manners, etc. I would explain to him why that goal was important and that I wanted him to work on it that week. I would then try to find several ways to reinforce that goal with activities and also give him a reward for meeting that behavior expectation. By working on one goal all week (for example- sharing), he seemed to gain mastery of that skill.

    Good luck! Please let me know if you try any of these ideas and if they work for you.




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