Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Age or Ability Specific Forums Pre-school independent play??

Hi there- anyone else have a really social/extroverted 2.5 yo? My son's imagination and cooperative pretend play has exploded, which is too cool and fun to watch, BUT he is constantly looking for me to play 1:1 with him.

I enjoy it and relish our time together, but sometimes I DO have to do housework, cook, etc etc. Where is this gifted trait of long attention span and independent play???

my LO has always been superinteractive and incessantly wanting adult attention. He'll pretend/role play with me for hours- so good, long attention span, but not if left to his own devices... if that makes sense? His language skills are amazing- he'll carryon complex imaginary games and incorporate characters from movies and improvise, etc etc. Yesterday we were pretending to be the Beatles in the Yellow Submarine navigating the Sea of Monsters and making nice hot cups of coffee for everyone. DH is a huge BEatles' fan/musician, so our son is OBSESSED over the Yellow Submarine movie...

I'm starting to realize that other kids his age just don't have the play skills he is seeking- and we are rural and don't have access to a lot of older kids...
any ideas for encouraging more independent play?
Anyone else have a child that prefers to play with you?

One thing that we did was to invite a (stuffed animal) "friend" or two to play along with us. We would take turns helping the "friend" talk/walk/etc., and when I needed to go do something I would ask DD to take over. It was not long before the majority of her play was independent.

I wouldn't expect him to start playing well with other kids until 3 or 4. We still have mixed results with DD4, though she now has a few (real, lol) friends she plays very well with.

We have the same issue here, and have for awhile. DD's (3.1) pretend and interactive play is light years ahead of her agemates. I typiclly end up being her only play friend....although, at the suggestion of our librarian when DD was 2.5 we moved her to the 4-5 year old storytime group, and she has made several good friends who she now gets to playwith outside of library time. She has even developed one "best" friend, and now in storytime they actually get in trouble for giggleing and talking and they have to sit together always.

So DD definitly prefers to play with me,when older kids are not avialable...now if she can fnd friends who are 5,6, and 7, she has a ball and enjoys herself and they enjoy her. Infact on of her good friends is a 7 year old, and she plays with him and looks forward to his school breaks so they can spend time together. I don't have any ideas for encouraging indeppendent play really...it has gotten a bit better lately, but I have been more firm when saying I am busy and not stopping what I am doing. This was really hard for me at first but has helped. Good luck.

DD's imaginative play has always been extreme and most of the kids her age just don't get it, but probably more to do with personalty, she is content to play with her toys and create a world where the toys come to life. Recently we got Toy Story the movie for her and she was obsessed with it. And for the first time she was begging for a specific toy: Woody. So I looked around and found her Woody and Buzz. She was ecstatic when she got them and had to quickly write her name on the bottom of their feet, just like the movie. And then she quickly took them to her room to leave them there because she was sure that they would come to life when left alone. Not shocking that she was drawn to the movie since it represents what she already sees with her own toys ... a magical world which she partakes in. This isn't to say that we are not allowed to join her and do all the time but if we are busy she has no problem entertaining herself.

If she didn't ... I probably would be exhausted because these kids can zap the energy out of you! I think the stuff animal idea is a great one. Definitely worth a try.

Mr W plays with his stuffed animals - having them talk and talking to them.

If I play with him for 30 min he then selects to pay by himself for an hour or so. Montessori has helped him here as well.

DD can be a very exhausting little girl, so I can completely understand your question! Um, basically, we've been working on her since she was pretty little and "teaching" her how to play by herself.

Don't take this to mean that we leave her alone a lot (quite the contrary!) but rather if she starts to get interested in a toy we always fad into the background and give her space. We don't interrupt her when she's playing by herself and only join in if she asks. I also try and encourage pretend play by showing her new and interesting ways to use her toys to help her to think of new ideas on her own (for instance, just the other day we took some long neglected block and dumped them in a mixing bowl and gave her a spoon and she was busy "cooking" for awhile).

We also try and show her by example e.g. she seems us reading books to ourselves, "drawing" (ok, actually solving equations), etc. Then she does the same on her own.

Some days she just really needs us around and that's ok too. But if it gets to be too much we try and pull out new toys that she hasn't seen in awhile (we do a toy rotation).

Friendships are hard for us too. She does really well with older kids at the playground if they have patience but I don't personally know any moms with older kids so that makes it tricky. Kids near to her age or younger she tends to think they are dolls acts accordingly.

I also wanted to add. We've been really making a point of doing housework in front of DD lately. She's so not the kid that wants to sort/organize/stack but rather she wants to seek and destroy! So we've been make sure to clean in front of her. She helps to some extent. She LOVES the broom and to sweep and she'll clean her dry erase board too. Baby steps, right?

Wonderful advice all.
To add: Flylady.net and the housefairy give lots of coaching on how to introduce childre to the happiness of 'home blessing.'
I didn't know about them, and this forum didn't exist when DS13 was exactly like this, and it never occured to me to do as you have done.

Smiles,
Grinity

I could have written your post a year ago. Things have improved dramatically for us, but she still loves my interaction. I simply had to say no and back off. It was hard but she has learned to create involved storylines with her figurines etc. and it it GOOD for them to do that. Yes, they need our interaction, but no adult wants to play puppets all day long. She goes to a play based preschool and although the children do not have her language and creative skills, she loves goofing around with them and it gives me a break. She is an intense little girl and while I wish I had the energy to play alongside her all day, I also have a smart, spirited two year old, so there is only so much of me to go around and I like a clean house so I just had to take little steps back for my own survival.

I babysit my friend's 4 yo daughter a few times a week so 2 yo DS has someone to play with . They can't play every game together (he's not too good and hide-and-seek yet) but they really enjoy each other's company and it's worked out well for the moms too!

And we are also just at that stage where his imagination is exploding - it is SO fun to watch!!! Even when he's just sitting somewhere making his cars crash together.

I also get DS involved in all the house-work I can. He puts laundry in the machine then the dryer & turns it on. Even "sweeps" the kitchen. Even if I have to do it twice it's worth it.

I promised DD to buy the movie, she has a Toy Story Book and is currently obsessed with it I'm happy she is asking about something without princesses... DD has also been very independent since she was a baby. She often has something going on we don't understand. She does like to play with us too especially when she is tired. It did take me while to figure out that not all little kids play hours alone. She is quite high energy so she needs lot of physical play outside to be able to play calmly inside.




These are nice advices, this is what lot of DDs friends do home. DD also likes to clean.