Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy Emotional Sensitivity-How would you handle this?

My ds6 is in Montessori school now, and they've been watching the movie, Conquest of America. It's like watching a movie, not a documentary, and today the war scenes really scared my son. He was so upset he cried at school, and it's still bothering him this evening. Maybe he's too sheltered from this kind of thing, but he's 6! I'm just curious if this is an appropriate age to be watching that and how you would handle it with your child.

I know that when he goes to bed tonight, he's going to be thinking about it and have trouble sleeping. That's what always happens when something like that scares him. So, yes, it's the real world, but how do you explain things like this to your young children? He can't break down crying every time he sees someone die in a movie or hears about it on the radio. He's very aware of death, but for him it's more of a spiritual understanding. He has lots of ideas about what happens when we die. But, he doesn't ever ask about "how" people die. In fact, his biological father was killed in an car accident when ds was a baby, and while he asks about him all the time, he's never asked me "how" he died. So, I've never told him. If he asks a question about anything, I always answer and tell him the truth. I give as much info as he is comfortable with. I believe he'll ask for more info when he's ready. Ok, sorry I'm writing a novel here, but how do go about slowly exposing your young children to the negative aspects of the real world? Will ds outgrow this sensitivity?

Jen - I love MON's advice. The time will come soon enough, and yes, our young ones misunderstand if they 'have to.'

Kcab - I think you have to get a standing deal with each teacher. But even if you do, there is no telling what will frighten a little giftie. Do your best, but our DS13 sat on a fear of global warming after a 1st grade presentation on it for a full year before we found out! Whatever they said about it totally freaked him out.

Part of the problem is that young children are assumed to be oblivious, and that complicated situation are assumed to 'go right over their heads.'

NOT.

Grinity

We had to deal with the H1N1 scare tactics. Wouldn't even eat fries by hand used a fork. It was obsessive. We really had to work on getting through it. I understand why they did it but overkill.

Apparently there is a bit of truth to that 'repetition is needed for learning for ND folks that isn't needed for gifties' thing.

((head slowly shaking))

We see this...

You are so right. I thought this was funny and a good example of misunderstanding when they aren't ready to tackle a particular bit of info. DS was telling me more about the movie, and he said he was very upset and scared, especially when a guy got his head cut off!

Then, he said, "and all the people who were sleeping looked like they had no heads too."

"Sleeping"?

What the heck were they watching?! Do 6-8 year-olds need to see a bunch of dead people with no heads? It might be reality, but are they ready for this?

At the school my children attend, a consent form is sent home explaining what the content of an upcoming movie/documentary is and why it is being shown, they particularly raise issues that children may be sensitive too. Based on the information provided parents then have the ability to allow or disallow participation.

I personally think no 6 year old should be watching that kind of thing, especially a sensitive one! What the heck were they thinking! I'd be willing to be your DS isn't the only one who has had problems. I used to teach 6 yo's and I'd never show something in class that had people being killed!

ITA with master of none! It's always his call.

uggg!