Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy Pep talk needed

I haven't posted for a long while but today is a very sad day for us as my son has had his first real disappoint because of being gifted.

To make a long story short, we searched forever to find a school because while he has been homeschooled since preschool, he is now 7 1/2 and really, really wants to go to school.

We found the perfect place and they have spent 6 weeks on and off evaluating him. He spent two days in the classroom and LOVED every minute of it. The were going to do a two year grade skip and then bump him up another few grades for math and reading pull-outs.

All seemed great, until we got the call.
The call today was that he was too advanced academically for the 2 year skip and his handwriting skills and his speed (they gave him a math speed drill and he didn't do the questions fast enough, although the ones he finished he scored perfectly)were not advanced.

They have no place for him because if he was going to be in a class room with 12 year olds, he needs to have the handwriting and processing speed of a twelve year old. Giving him a computer or word processor would put too much extra work on the school.

Needless to say, he is absolutely devastated and because of this disappointment, so are we.

I know you all understand these challenges so I was hoping for some moral support, some ideas for after-school groups that are social and any feedback on Davidson Academy of Nevada. We are seriously considering a move out there for 2012.

Any input would be greatly appreciated!

Zia's mom,

I am so sorry to hear what the school has to say. It seems like you have a few 'counter offers' to make the school.

1) enroll in a class with kids nearer to his handwriting age, and let him 'audit' all his academic subjects, so they don't feel pressured to give him a 'real 7th grade A' for work he is only partially doing. He can get pass or fail for his audit classes.

2) buy him a notebook computer for about 400$ and let him email his assignments to the teacher. It would hard for me to imagine a school where the teachers don't have email.

Some combination of #1 and #2.

3) Davidson Academy of Nevada. I have toured the facility and listened to their philosophy, and they make a very strong case for being uniquely able to meet the social and academic needs of PG kids. You can post questions on their Facebook group to hear from folks who are attending. Like any school, it hasn't pleased everyone, but many many families are so glad that they made the move.

Best Wishes,
Grinity

Zia's Mom,

Oh, how hard. Please give him a big hug - I can't even imagine how disappointed my son would be in that circumstance - it really is an awful lot for them to handle at such a young age. Did you feel comfortable when you spoke with them that they understood asynchronous development?

I agree with Grinity - I would go back and try to really clarify their concerns and see if they are willing to work with you.

As for options, I am not sure where you are located, but could contact your local reps for things like Destination Imagination, science olympiad, Math Olympiad, and see if they know about groups near you that would be open to including your son?

Best of luck and sending lots of good wishes your direction. Cat

To help his disappointment you might share a story of something that happened in your life that was a big disappointment at the time but, in retrospect, turned out to be for the best. Kids don't have as much experience with these kinds of things to fall back on, but we can share ours. Good luck!

Aww that's too bad! I hope you can get them to work something out for you.

My DS7 goes to 5th grade math class, and he has horrendous writing. His math teacher says he figures that if he gets DS in his class by the time he's actually in 5th grade, he can work on his handwriting then! But DS doesn't have any physical issues with his writing, which I know because he can write beautifully if he takes the time, it's just that his brain is ahead of his hands.

I think I would quibble with them on the "processing speed" issue, though--just because he doesn't finish enough questions in a specific time period that doesn't mean he is not at the level of the other kids in that class. If he gets enough correct to show mastery of the subject, the rest is just fluff and busywork. My DS7's math teacher just makes sure that he has done enough to show he understands the concept, and then lets him move on--it's not exactly the same problem you have, at least at the moment, but it works out to the same thing in the end. And the "processing speed" issue is almost certainly only caused by his handwriting! It's ridiculous for them to say "sorry, he's too advanced for a 2-year skip so we're just going to leave him where he is (or leave him out entirely in your case) because his writing stinks." There has to be some way around this.

Good luck!

The speed issue is indeed ridiculous. Don't know what to say there. The handwriting, surely he can work on at home and improve in time to start school in September? Maybe the speed as well?

Everything I know about the Davidson Academy is GREAT. It's my dream to teach there after I finish my masters.

I'd make sure your son gets the message that faster isn't necessarily smarter when it comes to math. Here's a good link if you haven't seen this before. Obviously, it doesn't sound like the school gets it.
http://www.mathsolutions.com/documents/9781935099031_message18.pdf

Hugs to you, Zia's mom.

Is there anyway the dream school can put him at his hadwriting age class and subject accelerate Or audit higher level classes like what grinity suggested?

We're in the same spot and am hoping to ride on this thread. Ds will be accelerated to gr 2 in a few weeks. 9 mths ago (6.5yo) when they tested him for math, he was at the gr 3/4 level. They'll be testing him in a few days but hes already on to algebra. They will start subject acceleration after this. The point is, he's got the handwriting level of a 7 yo. He does hv fine & gross motor skill issues and has bn undergoing ot for gross motor. The gifted board is insisting on ot for handwriting as well - I wonder if they're thinking of hurrying him beyond his natural level. Is it even hurryable? They hv talked about getting him to type if the difference between his cognitive and handwriting levels remain too far. Has anyone been through this? Was typing adequate for school needs?

Zia's mom, would one of these suggestions work for your situation as well?

I offered to but the laptop to get around the issue of we can't do that in class. They really had no reason to say no then.

I'm sorry and I agree with the others that not accommodating his speed issues seems unreasonable. My oldest, age 11 and grade accelerated, has speed issues as well. She's isn't slower than the avg 11 y/o; she's just a lot slower than her other abilities. While we haven't sought time accommodations on things like the SAT (and she didn't quite finish her essay as a result), she does have an accommodation for extra time written into her ALP (accelerated learning plan) at school. It really only comes into play for her on timed tests, but in those few instances where she has needed a few extra minutes, they just send her elsewhere to finish up.

Honestly, I'd be concerned overall that they don't understand asynchronous development and might not do the best at meeting his needs if this is their response to his speed being normal for age while his intellect is much beyond his age.

Do you have any homeschooling cooperatives locally if you wind up continuing with homeschool until he is old enough for the Davidson Academy? Maybe something structured like that could meet his desire to be in school for a while.