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    #8281 - 02/05/08 06:45 AM Re: I need help in choosing a preschool [Re: SpongeBob'sMom]
    Wren Offline
    Member

    Registered: 01/14/08
    Posts: 1600
    Good luck with the search. I want to emphasize another thing, look at the community. The community at the non academic 2s program we did was very laid back, parents didn't want academics.

    The Montessori school we are in has a community of parents that are professors at Columbia and NYU, many foreigners (so many kids are staying in the class when 6 since they are going back to Sweden or Holland and they don't want to start K here.)

    Last year one third of the kids, going on to K, scored 97th percentile or above on the SB. So you have a smart kid environment. Talk to other parents that go there and get a feel. Because I found that last year, because DD had such strong verbal skills, the teachers said the other kids sat around and listened to her, she bossed kids around, formed cliques. She doesn't have that kind of advantage at the Montessori, as older kids will tell her that they won't play with her sometimes and she is learning valuable lessons.

    Ren


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    #8314 - 02/05/08 11:08 AM Re: I need help in choosing a preschool [Re: Wren]
    bianc850a Offline
    Member

    Registered: 12/02/07
    Posts: 312
    Loc: California
    Hi Spongebob's mom,

    Hope your kid has a good time on his visit. Everyone is really nice so he should have a good morning.

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    #8338 - 02/05/08 07:00 PM Re: I need help in choosing a preschool [Re: SpongeBob'sMom]
    Laxmi Offline
    Junior Member

    Registered: 02/05/08
    Posts: 4
    Loc: Minnesota
    Hi,
    Can anybody help me choose a pre k for my 2 years(in Feb) old gifted child?He's very good in counting and he concentrates intensely.

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    #8339 - 02/05/08 07:04 PM Re: I need help in choosing a preschool [Re: Laxmi]
    Grinity Offline
    Member

    Registered: 12/13/05
    Posts: 7207
    Loc: Connecticut
    We can try, Laxmi!

    What are your choices, your options, his needs?
    How is he with agemates at playdates?
    Do you have an 'scare stories' in the near family regarding giftedness? If so, what are they?
    Do tell! ((offering up a virtual chair and virtual mug of prefered beverage))

    Smiles,
    Grinity
    _________________________
    Coaching available, at SchoolSuccessSolutions.com

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    #8343 - 02/05/08 07:38 PM Re: I need help in choosing a preschool [Re: Grinity]
    Laxmi Offline
    Junior Member

    Registered: 02/05/08
    Posts: 4
    Loc: Minnesota
    Hi Grinity,

    Thanls for the msg.He loves books.I actually gets bored when he makes me read his books for 2-3 hrs.I've noticed that he likes playing with screws,unscrewing and fitting it again when he was 9 months.He used to open and close bottles and says the correct word for each alphabet(depending on his mood).

    We speak to him in our language and he doesn't know English.But one day I went to a supermarket and the lady in the desk asked me whether he speaks n then he asked her "How do you do".Both of us were shocked.Someone might have asked him at some point of time.I don't know.I am scared.

    We do have a history of giftedness in my family.My father and his brother are gifted and I used to hear 'scare stories ' as u say smile from my granny.they both have Phds and have published lots of papers in science(engineering).

    He plays nicely with kids like him(till now we've found only one like him).When we go to his doc's place,he'll explain the postbox(they have a replica) to other kids,but they won't understand his language.Otherwise he just watches other kids playing and smiles at me.We went to a party and he tried to tell the other kids about his visit to the zoo and they were not interested and he was bored.Then he got friendly with older people and started speaking to them.I don't know if u got any information from all this.I am shocked to hear everybody telling me that he is gifted.

    After our CA visit,he made a replica of the Goldengate Bridge with his building blocks and showed us.He still remembers the ladybug in his granny's mobile and how to use the mobile to see it.He imagines stories about the lion in the zoo and the way the tiger had its lunch.I am confused and scared.Please help.

    Thanks and regards,
    Laxmi

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    #8346 - 02/06/08 02:43 AM Re: I need help in choosing a preschool [Re: Laxmi]
    Grinity Offline
    Member

    Registered: 12/13/05
    Posts: 7207
    Loc: Connecticut
    I can totally understand your feelings of fear and confusion. This children can be very 'high energy' and can seem to demand a high level of parental involvement, almost as if they have special needs. I hope I can help.

    One might think that it's logical that a child who is super smart go to school as early as possible, but the truth is just the opposite: the farther a child is from the expected developmental path, the longer you should hesitate over sending him to school. The exception is that some children do well starting Kindergarden a year early.

    Of course, I don't know if anyone can say "for sure" if a child is gifted at this young age, but your discription tells me that it is a strong possibility. If this is your situation, you have to be ready to take on more responsibility than any other parent you currently know. You have to be parent, expert, and teacher, working with others as an equal or leader for the next 15 years. If you haven't already taken on a role of this kind in other areas of your life - Welcome to leadership! You can do it!
    Part of being brave is to feel scared the whole time, yes?


    During this stage, I would reccomend reading a few books, and proceding with caution as far as leaving him in group care. Imagine, if you can, how a preschool teacher with 4 children in their charge might react to his 'demands' that she read to him for 2-3 hours. She might start to resent him and treat him as though there was something wrong with him. He may be sensitive to feel that this is true, and start to learn to act like the other children while keeping the sense of shame about who he is. Or he may start to become frustrated to spend so many hours alone facing a group of 'babies' who he is clearly expected to be like, and feel like an angry alien.


    BTW - have you tried reading 'Chapter books' with complicated stories to him? Or is it book aimed at preschoolers? Of course follow his lead, but you may want to introduce a few of your childhood favorites to see how he reacts.

    You say he gets along with a kid who is 'like him' - does that child go to preschool? If so, how is that going? It's really important for you to know how he would feel being left with 'agemates' who are normally developing. Try to set up a playdate or two with children who speak his language who are following a more normal developmental path. Is there a community of your-language speakers near where you live? Try to observe how he interacts.

    In the meanwhile, go to this link and print out the checklist to see how your child is developing:And another Dr. Ruf link to help you estimate your child's level of giftedness. The checklists start about halfway down the page.
    http://www.educationaloptions.com/levels_giftedness.htm

    I reccomend your read "Genius Denied" "Losing our Minds, gifted children left behing" "Re-forming Gifted Education" "Nation Decieved" (If you are going to order them from Amazon.com, go to the Hoagies Website first, ok?) Go to the library and read everything they have about "Gifted" but be ready to take what you read with a 'grain of salt' as what applys to most gifted children may not work for an unusually gifted child.

    I also reccomend reading whatever looks interesting from this site - try searching 'toddlers' and 'preschoolers'

    Another website that is very full of information is http://www.hoagiesgifted.org/gifted_101.htm, I reccomend a cyber-visit to the mothership of gifted info.

    The identification process info is here:
    http://www.hoagiesgifted.org/identification.htm

    There is a lot of information to absorb, and folks don't agree with each other all the time - that's ok, if frustrating. It's terrific that your eyes are open so early in the game. I was still 'not seeing' my son's needs at age 6, after he had been in daycare since 7 weeks of age, and public school for Kindy and 1st grade. Whenever there were hints, I just got embarrassed and felt blamed, but there weren't many hints. I thought that schools would recognise giftedness, and 'take care of it' - they are in the business to teach - but that didn't work in our case.

    You don't mention if you have to work, if you are expecting another baby and desperate for some 'me' time, aren't expecting another baby and desperate for some 'me' time (humor intended) if there are schools that teach in your language, if your want to send him to school to learn english, if you want him in school so that the 'education professionals' can give him what he needs - or I should just ask "What got you started on the idea that he should be in some kind of school right now?

    Please say more!
    ((More virutal comforting guestures - what would they be in your culture?))
    Love and More Love,
    Grinity

    _________________________
    Coaching available, at SchoolSuccessSolutions.com

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    #8352 - 02/06/08 03:53 AM Re: I need help in choosing a preschool [Re: Laxmi]
    bianc850a Offline
    Member

    Registered: 12/02/07
    Posts: 312
    Loc: California
    Hi Laxmi,

    I completely agree with Grinity. The best thing you can do for your boy is to NOT send him to school/daycare yet.

    Children at that age, regardless of their level of giftedness, learn everything that is important to learn at that age from their mom/dad.

    I am the mother of a PG child who "refused" to attend even Kindergarden. She is now in second grade with a two grade acceleration in math. There is nothing you child can learn at school at that age that you cannot teach him better. Just read a lot. Hug a lot and play a lot. At that age they need the hurrays that only a parent can give.

    By keeping them close, they grow up feeling loved, cherished and important. I can promise you that no academic learning is worth feeling "abandoned" by the most important person in his life. Follow his lead...

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    #8392 - 02/06/08 09:04 PM Re: I need help in choosing a preschool [Re: bianc850a]
    Laxmi Offline
    Junior Member

    Registered: 02/05/08
    Posts: 4
    Loc: Minnesota
    Hi,

    Thank u so much.I never knew that at this age they'll be able to understand chapter books.I used to read to him books like Dr.Suess's,then feet are not for kicking etc.I sure will try the former.

    Hey Grinity,I do share with u about the embarassment u had to face as that happened with me also many times.And people used to make fun of him telling that he doesn't play with the other kids.He loves throwing the ball and the building blocks.He tries to tell them stories.His friend doesn't go to any school.Even they are in a dilemma.Both of them(the kids) speak different languages.But they'll speak to each other for more than an hour and they'll understand each other so well.Even his friend doesn't play with other kids.


    My kid doesn't like to go to the day care centre.As i am planning to work,I wanted to put him in a daycare for a few hours daily and he wants to come back to me always.Then he'll come to me with a pen and paper and will tell me to write his abcd.

    I went thru the links that u sent me.We,my husband and myself are in the discussion stage. smile Now, when we try to co-ordinate things,we do really think there is something special with him from the beginning.My best friend is telling me that it is all because I used to sing classical music religiously everyday during my pregnancy. smile

    I don't know.But u guys r really doing a wonderful job by giving me support.Once again thank u soooo much.Let me go thru all the stuff and u know what,we are so scared about whether we'll be able to nurture him properly.I got the idea about sending him to school cos everybody in this apartment,his age are going to school the coming year.Now we've to seriously think about it.Right?

    I really would like to hear your experiences with your kids as I am just a confused small kid in this matter!

    Regards,
    Laxmi


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    #8429 - 02/07/08 01:36 PM Re: I need help in choosing a preschool [Re: Laxmi]
    Laxmi Offline
    Junior Member

    Registered: 02/05/08
    Posts: 4
    Loc: Minnesota
    Hi Grinity & Bianca,

    After going thru all these stuff,we feel like we've just discovered that he has some kind of disease.I feel so overwhelmed and tensed.Its like I lost my sleep.Before,whatever he did was ordinary to us.But now we notice whatever he's doing.He can draw a circle,can identify some alphabets and numbers,counts till 50,n then goes on 51,52 n after 59 he'll stop n look at me.

    The lady in the daycare told me that when she showed pictures of different kinds of fishes to him and the other kids,for them,all were fishes and he named them as whale,shark,starfish and jelly fish.We had been to the aquarium 2 weeks back and I'd showed him all the fishes except the whale.I hope that is normal.

    I hope u guys had similar experiences.What did u do?I feel so free talking to u as u guys understand me very well.

    Thanks and regards,
    Laxmi

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    #8435 - 02/07/08 02:16 PM Re: I need help in choosing a preschool [Re: Laxmi]
    Grinity Offline
    Member

    Registered: 12/13/05
    Posts: 7207
    Loc: Connecticut
    Laxmi,
    It is as if he has a diesase in a way, because you might have to delay going back to work to care for a child with 'special needs' or search extra hard for a babysitter who would bond and really take the time to see him for who he is. If you really need to get out, perhaps you could work something out with the other Mom and take turns?

    Is it normal to know the names of fish having just turned 2 years old? It Is Not Normal for most children, and It Is Normal for him, although many 'experts' will tell you otherwise. You will also feel guilty for all that singing, but I am here to tell you that 'they come out the way they come out' and you aren't to blame.

    I sent DS to daycare from 7 weeks, although I tried not to work full days until 3 years. I felt that I wasn't really normal, although I couldn't finger exactly what was wrong with me, I knew it was something, so I felt that by putting him in daycare, I was giving him a chance to be 'normal.' Plus we needed the money to stay in our house. I find this very sad to talk about, because did my son's daycare experience help him be normal? Of course not, it only convinsed him that there was something dreadfully wrong with most children! Still working on that end of things...

    Smiles,
    Grinity

    It is awful observing your child so closely, but that will pass, and you will go back to remembering that he is normal, for him.
    _________________________
    Coaching available, at SchoolSuccessSolutions.com

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