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    #68513 - 02/09/10 01:07 PM friendships
    lulu Offline
    Member

    Registered: 05/19/09
    Posts: 133
    Am I asking too much, when I keep hoping my DS will develop age peer friendships? I was just listening in on him today, and what he says, although perfectly understandable to adults and older kids, must sound like jibberish to his peers. Discussing Haiti is friend mentioned millions dying which DS quickly corrected to "estimated 200,000" - not even sure where he heard this. He's not meaning to be argumentative or 'sound intelligent', he's just speaking in a way that's natural to him. As adults we know to simplify our language for kids, but can we really tell a kid to do this and expect him to be emotionally mature enough not to get an over inflated ego?


    Edited by lulu (02/17/10 05:17 AM)

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    #68514 - 02/09/10 01:19 PM Re: friendships [Re: lulu]
    gracies_mom Offline
    Junior Member

    Registered: 01/21/10
    Posts: 12
    I feel your pain. DD has a hard time forming any real friendships. Partially because she just communicates so differently and partially because she feels the need to direct activity around her. She comes across as very bossy, but to her she just wants people to do it the right way. Her way, of course.

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    #68518 - 02/09/10 01:56 PM Re: friendships [Re: lulu]
    Grinity Offline
    Member

    Registered: 12/13/05
    Posts: 7207
    Loc: Connecticut
    Originally Posted By: lulu
    Am I asking too much, when I keep hoping my DS will develop age peer friendships?



    How old is he? As he ages, so do his peers, and everyone gets more socially savy - so the future holds possibilities. And there are schools, summer camps and conferences where Gifted and Highly Gifted kids gather to enjoy agemates. But in the long run - who cares if they bond with agemates, as long as they have friends that they get to go through life and school with?
    Shrugs and More Shrugs -
    Grinity
    _________________________
    Coaching available, at SchoolSuccessSolutions.com

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    #68533 - 02/09/10 04:57 PM Re: friendships [Re: Grinity]
    lulu Offline
    Member

    Registered: 05/19/09
    Posts: 133
    He's recently turned 7. I wouldn't care so much about friends being his age apart from of the fact that so much of growing up is 'age organized' if you know what I mean.


    Edited by lulu (02/09/10 04:57 PM)

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    #68536 - 02/09/10 05:47 PM Re: friendships [Re: lulu]
    Grinity Offline
    Member

    Registered: 12/13/05
    Posts: 7207
    Loc: Connecticut
    Originally Posted By: lulu
    He's recently turned 7. I wouldn't care so much about friends being his age apart from of the fact that so much of growing up is 'age organized' if you know what I mean.


    I do know what you mean, but if it's appropriate for your child, I would encourage you to step out of the expected path and find activities that work for your family.

    I even asked DS to be allowed to 'play up' at a Saturday
    Enrichment day organized by our state gifted association. They said 'Yes' and he had a wonderful day. Where we live, kids who are talented in sports are asked to 'play up' all the time.

    Smiles,
    Grinity
    _________________________
    Coaching available, at SchoolSuccessSolutions.com

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    #68867 - 02/14/10 09:26 AM Re: friendships [Re: Grinity]
    zhian Offline
    Member

    Registered: 11/09/09
    Posts: 125
    Loc: Bochum, Germany
    Have to agree with Grinity's "who cares" - it's entirely possible your son could be happier on his own than with same-age "friends" he can barely communicate with. I didn't have many friends when I was 7, and never in my life had more than five people I would've invited to a birthday party. My mother used to cry over "how lonely I must have been" - took her until I was 23 to finally realize I was actually quite happy all that time.

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    #68874 - 02/14/10 01:10 PM Re: friendships [Re: zhian]
    matmum Offline
    Member

    Registered: 11/06/09
    Posts: 195
    Loc: Australia
    Quote:
    My mother used to cry over "how lonely I must have been"


    I understand where your mother was coming from!LOL. Seriously, this is something I worry about and no doubt overthink on something approaching a daily basis. DS's peer friendships are all based around sport and they rarely extend beyond that. Most of the time or rather a large majority of the time he spends on his own. Even though I know he is very introverted by nature and is happy in his own company I still worry about what I perceive as a lack of social contact. Grinity is right *who cares*, so long as your DS is happy right? Unfortunately it hasn't stopped me worrying about it!eek

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    #68979 - 02/16/10 12:09 PM Re: friendships [Re: matmum]
    zhian Offline
    Member

    Registered: 11/09/09
    Posts: 125
    Loc: Bochum, Germany
    No connection at all between what's reasonable and what a parent's allowed to worry about, matmum. laugh


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    #69035 - 02/17/10 04:57 AM Re: friendships [Re: zhian]
    Floridama Offline
    Member

    Registered: 04/27/09
    Posts: 389
    Loc: Florida
    Quote:
    She comes across as very bossy, but to her she just wants people to do it the right way. Her way, of course.

    This is my DD7! She is very introverted so she could care less about being with the group if they are not doing what she wants.
    I am no longer concerned about her lack of popularity because, she finally has a best friend.
    It took many, many, playdates before my DD actually let her guard down to except a close friend.
    Her BF is a people pleaser who struggles with learning. They are complete opposites and yet its a perfect fit!

    I wish the same for all if your DCs


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    #69037 - 02/17/10 05:21 AM Re: friendships [Re: Floridama]
    lulu Offline
    Member

    Registered: 05/19/09
    Posts: 133
    You've really made me think, Floridama. My mother, who was a teacher, always remembers the most brilliant child she ever taught, was best friends with a slow learner - she just worked for them.

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