Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy Report cards.....

The old good new bad news deal....

DS - who suffered with poor conduct scores all last year got satisfactory in almost all categories this year. His only N was in self control - which will be the bane of his existence for the rest of his life if he is anything like his parents.....

DD who got pretty decent conduct grades last year got almost all N's this year. Not doing her work, not playing well with others, lack of self control, has unruly hair, etc etc etc.

Now.... what had I heard in advance from the teachers? DS's teacher has made no secret of the self control issue, but has stated she is really pleased with the progress he is making.

DD's teacher stated that she is great academically, but that she has some social skills problems. The report card we got goes way beyond social skills problems......

My thoughts? DD is bored out of her gourd and we can't prove it because she won't cooperate with testing any more than she will cooperate with the classroom teacher.

Someone please hand me some instructions that will tell me what to do with her!

Mary

Mary,
I'm bracing for the conduct report for my DS10 also. He always gets check marks for attentiveness and follows directions well. I haven't gotten complaints from his teachers this year, but HE tells me that he often loses track of where they are in class because he is daydreaming.

By the way everyone, his math acceleration is going well so far (started Tues). He took the cumulative quarter test for 6th grade yesterday and got a 93%!

Mary, how old and what grade are your children? I looked through some of your previous posts, but I didn't see those stats for this school year.

On the bright side, I don't think high school go back further than 6th grade for conduct and grades.

V/R
Diana

Hi Mary,

are you ready for your instructions?

If so -
1) Post to the YSP email lists - homeschooling as a prospective homeschooler, and parenting. Tell the whole story with all the yucky details.

2) Remind me, did you DS get a full grade skip? If so, who were the key contact people, what swayed them?

3) What would it take to do "temporary rescue homeschooling" for DD?

4) what are the resources in your area - homeschool coops? independent school?

5) Check with the teacher, maybe she gives "N" s to all the students to give them something to work towards? Do she see it as a problem? If your point of keeping dd in school is to help her learn social skill - shrug and move on - it's not going to happen while she is being "tortured" (her point of view, most likely) Does DH percieve a problem? What does he think of the report card? Does she have playdates with classmates?

Love,
Trinity

DS 7 is in third - a one year grade skip. DD 6 is in first.

DS is doing ALEKS for math enrichment. He is wrapping up 4th grade this week. He has the greatest teacher in the world this year.

BTW - I emailed DD's teacher. She said no big deal, no real problems. So why 9 N's out of 16? Quite unfair to DD to get so much negative feedback if there really isn't anything bad to report.

Mary

I also think that many teachers are influenced by the opinions of the previous year�s teacher so it becomes an issue that a child must live down.

But Mary,
What do you think?
If you "could" get her the grade skip, do you think it would be a good thing?

I think it's so interesting parenting these OE kids when I get so OE too!

Smiles -
Trin

She isn't ready for a grade skip. While she understands math, she hasn't memorized all the addition facts. Her handwriting is still iffy, although improving. However, it would cause problems in 2nd grade.

The biggest thing is that we don't have a piece of paper that says she is HG. The IQ test they did at school when she was four said she was barely above average in intelligence - and they discounted the high vocabulary as just being a younger sibling.

I can easily see her skipping 2nd, but she just isn't ready to move into 2nd now - not that they would let her.

Mary

Mary -
I just look at my son, at his basic distrust of all things adult. If we were trustworthy, why did we leave him in 2nd grade so long? At the public school they kept saying that he misread "social cues." It's not that he misread them, it's that he read the ones he wasn't supposed to read, and not the ones that people wished they were sending. Babs just reminds me of him, that strong inner core, where it all get hidden to keep it safe! I feel like demonstrating the world's basic safety and trustworthness is like a rock I push up the mountian everyday.... so.... I encourage you to spend enough time with her as a learner to really know what's going on inside.... and to trust your gut. Is the Universe keeping that magic certification out of reach to encourage you to give in and homeschool? I don't know.

You are in my heart and thoughts,
Trinity

Trinity writes:
"It's not that he misread them, it's that he read the ones he wasn't supposed to read, and not the ones that people wished they were sending."

I almost fainted here because this is and always has been so true of my son. People with low intelligence frequently perceived him as "rude"
He just told me the other day " Sometimes I try to complement the person, but they often think that I am making a joke or as if I am trying to put them down. They do not get it, mom"
Ania

Gosh that statement sums up ME. I have gotten into so much trouble in life because I can detect anger and disdain in people long before other people can. So, people always jump to the offenders defense and I was left to deal with the fallout of my perception. Many Many Many has the time been that someone has come to me and said, "You were sooooooo right about so and so."

I still haven't learned to squelch it when it pops up. sigh.

But on the other side of the coin, I can also detect sincerity and kindness very quickly too. I've made fast and steady friends in life due to that ability.

So, while it causes me angst at times, I wouldn't give it up for anything. It helps me as I work with people, counsel them, and so on.

So, imo, encourage self-monitoring, but don't discourage that sensitivity and perceptiveness.