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Kriston-

I really feel for you and not being free to write your book. That must be very frustrating. Are you open to allowing an hour of educational tv or computer time so you can get something done while he is in your care?

My homeschool large group functions (board game day, for instance) do not permit drop off, as that would be a logistical nightmare for the few parents forced to endure it! But it's quite acceptable to ask another parent to give us a break and take an extra child or two there, as long as they agree to be responsible for them.

The more academic groups that usually involve only a handful of kids are more usually the drop off variety here. So I can drop my older two at a homeschool science class and then either return home or spend a couple hours enjoying the morning with a friend who has an older child in the class and two younger kids at home. I'm a sucker for a hot cup of tea and conversation, so I tend to chose option B!

Most of the people in our group do "family" playdates until they get to know the parents and children a bit. Then we progress to drop offs, though playdates can often be as much fun for the parents as for the children! So it is possible that you guys are still in "newbie" mode or that others consider your child too young to remain at a playdate without you.

Hang in there, and I'm sure that your options will increase as time goes on. You're wise to think of it in terms of a passing phase.

take care-

We use TV and computer time sparingly. The trouble is that I don't want DS3 to get much media time--I think he's probably too young for even as much as he gets, so I'm pretty miserly about it. I generally think of it as an emergency measure so that I can get some mental health time rather than a way to get writing time. With all the research and stuff that I have to dig into in order to write, I really need a bigger chunk of more concentrated & less interrupted time than TV would allow. Usually I send the boys outside if I really need a break. I feel like that's a healthier option for all of us!

I'm still considered a newbie in our HS group, I'm sure. We have befriended one family in the group that I can have watch DS6--who's quite independent and easy to watch--for a few minutes while I run DS3 to preschool and come right back, but I haven't asked for any more than that. We have playdates with them, but always with parents there, too. They're the sort who keep their son close at all times, and I sincerely doubt that they'd ever ask me to return the favor of a drop-off playdate. If they did accept a drop-off with just DS6, I'm afraid I'd feel like I was imposing (and thereby harming the friendship) or taking advantage. At this point, it's not worth it to me to risk it.

We have regular playdates with another mom and her kids, but she's a very close friend (so close that I was with her in the delivery room when she had her second child!), and visiting together once a week is important to us both. Plus she has her hands ridiculously full already--she's trying to finish her dissertation on top of HSing *and* being a wife and a mom to a very active 1yo and an 8yo with some 2E issues. If anyone should be offering to take all the kids, it should really be me offering to take hers!

I think most people would feel that DS3 is too young to be dropped off. And given that he's an extrovert and needs a lot of attention (that DS6 usually is happy to provide for him), dropping off DS6 alone for a playdate wouldn't help me, unless we could arrange something during DS3's preschool time...which is my most productive HSing time with DS6. And even if we could arrange something, it wouldn't be a regular, dependable time for writing.

So, as I said, I'm resigned to putting the book mostly on hold for this school year. <shrug> It's not being dropped, just temporarily shelved, so I'm okay with it, provided I get back to it next year, one way or another. (And that's the reason we're looking into the private gifted school...Just call the gifted school "one way"! ) The sacrifice is not ideal, but it's necessary. But two years of sacrifice at this level is unacceptable to both DH and me. We'll figure something out.

Of course, as I look back at that LONG post, I am also struck by the thought that if I could just write the book the way I write my posts here, the darned thing would be done!

Ah, the irony!

Hi all,

Krison, I've been reading your posts here with great interest. As previously mentioned, I have homeschooling on the back burner. My biggest hesitations are some of the things you have mentioned. I am very social, but I absolutely need solitude time. Pretty much as much as I need oxygen!! It doesn't have to be a whole lot, but I need some.
We have a membership to a fitness club which allows you to drop off child/children for up to two hours while you "work out". You can't leave the facility, but you could be reading, writing etc. in one of the lounges and I've thought that this might work for me if I do homeschool... Do you have any options like that where you live?

Yes, as a matter of fact I do. I like how you think!

However, I try to use the gym for my workouts. In fact, my resolution for this year is to get back to exercising faithfully like I did before I injured my neck this past summer. To tell you the whole truth, I suspect a significant part of my problem is that I'm feeling fat and lazy since I couldn't exercise at all and I gained back a bunch of the weight I had lost last year. My head doesn't feel as clear, I experience insomnia and weird sleep patterns (it's nearly 3 a.m. as I type this...), and I feel sluggish all the time. I think I have a little bit of Seasonal Affective Disorder. Exercise does a lot to take care of all those things.

For a number of reasons, the 2 hours of babysitting at the gym doesn't work well for writing time, I'm afraid. I've tried. But it *IS* key to my sanity to get over there to exercise. And that *DOES* count as alone time for me, so if I get back to the gym more often, I could use my time at home for more than mental health.

With all that said...Incog, I really hope this thread isn't turning you off of home schooling! That would make me sad because it is a very workable option. I suspect that for any NORMAL person, the amount of alone time I get would be more than enough. It's just my own quirk.

Plus most people aren't goofy enough to try to write a novel while home schooling with kids as young as mine. Just me! Take the book out of the equation, and I'm sure I'm no more overburdened than any other mom!

No way do I think you are goofy, Kriston. I can relate to your struggles which is why I've benefitted from reading your posts. It hasn't turned me off at all, just confirmed for me what the issue would be for me if I did homeschool. It just allows me to think a little more about it and prepare for it better.
Right now, the kids seem to be doing okay in school, but a red flag pops every now and again. I could forsee a certain point where I would homeschool if that would be in their best interests, which is why I'm looking into it. I gave DD7 the singapore pre-tests to see which book we could work on after school etc.
I think you a doing a great thing by homeschooling. As I've mentioned earlier, my k-12 experience was just ridiculous, I've often thought homeschooling would have made a huge difference for me then.

It goes without saying, but I'm glad this forum is here for all of us to exchange ideas. I wouldn't go so far as to say you are no more overburdoned than any other mom. I wouldn't trade my situation for anything, but I do know I can't talk about it with just any moms. I honestly can't even talk about it to my gifted denial family, mostly(except for my dad). It's great to come here and find kindred spirits!!
Good luck with the book, I'm sure it will get written one way or the other!!!!!!!!!!!

Incog

Forewarned is definitely forearmed! I'm glad the conversation is helping you to be prepared. That's a good thing. And I'm happy to answer any questions or direct you to resources if I can. Heaven knows I had lots of questions at the start of this year. I'm glad to give back. Karma and all that...

I think like any other new thing, HSing has taken some adjustment. I've had something of the perfect storm this year, what with my injury, my reduced babysitting, and the emergency home schooling. It's only natural that things would be a bit challenging!

Thanks for the kind wishes about the book. Happily, I have the whole day to write today, so that's what I'm going to go do!

P.S. It was a good writing day!

I got plenty of uninterrupted time to write, and I finished a draft of the big funeral scene that has been my albatross for the past 6 months or so. Hopefully things will move along much more easily now. It just wasn't a scene I could write little by little, but the big, all-day push worked for me! Heaven bless the babysitter!

Happy happy joy joy!

Congrats Kriston, that's great!!!!!

You give me hope that one day, I too shall accomplish some non-mom goals!!!!!!!!!!

Incgon

Thanks, Incog. I joked with the babysitter that if I can keep up this pace, I should finish the book in, oh, about 40 years...

LOL!

Now if I can just get back to the gym, I'll actually start feeling like a real person again. Yahoo!