Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy "Used up grade skip" quandry

Dear Ones,

How in the world does one know "when to hold 'em" and "when to fold 'em" when it comes to school placement?

DS11 got his skip last October, and it was a dramatic struggle to get him up to speed with the organizational skills of Middle School. (cautionary tale to those who need skips and put them off)This year he just blends right in - well, he 50% blends in and this is a lifetime first for him, and is doing well academically and socially. Now we are questioning why the move to private school in the first place, and what the big deal was all about.

DS is even making noises about how great it would be to get back into the public school system. The grade skip would stay, and the Public school does offer Algebra and French to 8th graders so it wouldn't be any backwards step on paper - but are we underestimating the effect of his unusually academic class at the Private school? Still I feel bad for him to be in a group of only 45 kids for three years - that sounds very long to me. We have always hoped to be able to go back to the public school for High School, so should we bother with only one year?

I guess the point is that if he is being underchallenged, it would be nice for him to have less busy work as well. I don't see any way to do subject acceleration as an 8th grader - except maybe independent study. Not sure what subject. I guess I don't mind him having a 'party year' at this stage - he has worked SO hard to get where he is. And I don't really want to pay the money for Private if he isn't really going to be intellectually engaged. I just don't know what to look for ... how to tell.

((pout))
Grimity

Well, things are much much much better than at the end of 4th grade, and even that was 100x better than 2nd grade, our true 'bottom.' I believe you are quite right that things are good enough that he is looking normal and I'm doubtion what all the fuss was about. Although he complains of the social scene - it's so hard to judge from that. On weekends he wants to call his old friends only, but perhaps that will change.

I anticipate that the school will look at me funny when I suggest that his elective time be used for more fun and deep learning.

I'm not so worried about the money, now that we've done it for two years, one more should be ok. It is all about perspective isn't it?

Grimity


Re: grade skipping [Re: CFK]
Grinity Grinity
Member


Registered: December 13, 2005
Posts: 1320
Loc: Connecticut Originally Posted By: CFK
It can be kind of disheartening sometimes to go through all that work to find a solution to their problems while at the same time you know in the back of your mind that it is only a temporary fix.



Quote:
Thanks CFK -
We are going through this right now, and I really appreciate that you've put it into words!


LOL! Actually, on the YSP list we remind each other regularly that if a situation works for 6months to a year, that is reason to celebrate.
DH and I were having this conversation just yesterday, in the car. We feel like he's so much better than he was before the skip, but that in a milder way, we're back to the same concerns - in 4th grade the homework was 90 seconds per day, now the homework is less than 20 minutes per day. Difference is that now with the occasional large project is due, he can work for 2.5 hours and be ok with it - so it isn't nearly as bad, but it does remind us of times past.

I'm thinking that independent project or Mentor or academic competition or service project must be the next step. I was up last night rehearsing the talk with his principle about "How can you help him?"

Advice - Be like Dottie and use the gradeskips early when you can, and as often as needed. The longer one waits the less one can get out of gradeskips - until the next round which involves boarding school or early college - funny we hate skips because they mean fewer years at home with the family, but a well timed early skip may be able to keep the child comfortable and local compared to the track CFK and I seem to be on. ((shrug))

Grinity

If the public schools will work with you and not be inflexible, I really like working with them. For one, the money saved can go into enrichment opportunities outside of school (book budget, camps, etc.) without as much debate. Secondly, while it may not be true at your private school, many are really struggling financially and have more limited resources than public schools (more outdated computers, lower salaries for teachers/less qualified, etc.) Small numbers and controlled setting, less bureaucracy are clear benefits of private schools.

Another benefit of public schools, at least here, is that they are an education unto themselves by teaching kids about diversity, how to handle situations (sometimes unsavory), more "real world". As parents, we think we'd like to shelter our kids from some real world stuff, but it's really beneficial to have them understand how to handle it too. My DS's HS is a title 1 school (70% free/reduced lunch, large population ESL, illegal immigrants, pregnant teens, gang-bangers). This has been very eye-opening for him. The principal told me that they have honors kids go to ivies precisely because they're from a school like that and have learned more about life.

Ah Dottie - Yes i think that's the ticket - to stay out of it and let him pick, but throw in some strings either way. Now my gripe is that although he likes and does well in Math compared to his classmates (Not compared to your son, though) I'd really like to be able to pick something outside of Math for him to really take advantage of his FOK strenth (Fund of Knowledge) - maybe I should look up Jepordy Kid's days. What I'd really like is an academic competiton in Rock and Roll History - does that exist? Or politics? I guess it's time to head back to Hoagies Page and look there....

Seriously, I found a free copy of Time Almanac with Information Please 2007 and brought it home for him. He's reading it. Scary!

Grinity