Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy Mid-Year Grade Acceleration for DS8 - Help!

Hi All,
DH and I have meeting with principal, gifted teacher, accelerated math teacher, and counselor Monday afternoon to discuss DS8. I'm really nervous. I've pulled a ton of research off the internet to support our request for a grade skip, but I wanted to know if anyone else had advocated for a mid-year skip? DS8 is in 3rd grade and I think a skip to 4th after the winter break may be a gentle transition, but DH and Psychologist think 5th would be a better fit. DS is unbelievably bored in class and his teacher is not a good fit, on this the principal agrees. We live in a state with great gifted policies and funding, so this request is not out of line, it just has not been implemented very often. I'm also having a hard time imagining my little guy going to 6th grade (middle school) next fall!

This is so new to us, we are still trying to wrap our minds around the depth of his ablility. I try to explain what we are doing to friends and family and they just say that he will never fit in if we grade skip him. I feel like we are up against so many roadblocks, including us coming to terms with how life will be from now on. I don't mean to whine, it's just hard to talk about this to just about everyone I know.

Thanks for listening, and if anyone has any insight, I'd appreciate it.

Mommyj2

Your school district has actually offered to skip your child FURTHER than you want? Where do you live???

In all seriousness, if you think he can handle 5th, why not talk to him and see if he wants to try it? He's going to have to make a load of new friends either way. He's going to be the smallest kid in the class either way. It sounds like he's going to be lacking intellectual peers either way, but at least the 5th graders might be a little more interesting. I'd base the decision on his wishes, your opinion of the level of challenge he needs, and your impressions of the teachers in question.

By the way, if he really is a candidate for a two-grade skip, he doesn't "fit in" NOW. And more importantly, do you want him to?

Mommyj2

My DS skipped first grade. He is now in 4th and still not a good match and so we contemplate another grade skip or homeschooling. I do not live in a state that has any gifted mandates. I hear you on the age difference but as zhian says, he is not fitting in NOW. If the school is willing than talk to DS and see how he feels. Remember that nothing is unchangeable especially with a willing and understanding administration.

We do independent study and Wolf (5yrs) is normally with 4th graders (11 yrs) on our field trips and other than the size you couldn't tell the difference. It doesn't matter at all to the boys, but that is one of the bonuses I've found with homeschoolers of any type, age just doesn't seem to be as big of an issue for the kids. I've seen teen boys honestly playing with elementary kids and having a ball.

He's also in Cub Scouts with boys 1-1.5 years older than him and once again, no difference. These are conventional school kids, all ND, and other than a comment or two about the little guy knowing more than them once or twice there haven't been any issues.

I say see what he thinks, talk to the teachers, see if they would be a good fit and understanding of the difficulties he may have. If academically 5th is a better fit, odds are he'll do well there socially as well, although there might be some hiccups at first.

Mommyj2:

I haven't posted an "official" follow-up for our son's recent skip, as it is still a fairly recent development... and I don't want to jinx it. But...

Our son -- also 8 -- has an early fall birthday, so was only 7 when he started 4th grade this year. His first skip came when he began school in 1st grade at age 4 (turning 5 within several weeks of the start).

As I've shared extensively in my earlier posts, he'd spent the first three years of school quietly spinning his wheels in class, never having to work for his top grades. After a series of testing over the summer, we got a pretty clear indication that he needed another skip, which would place him in the 5th grade classroom skipping out of 4th mid-year.

Although I was comfortable with moving him to 5th immediately, we all agreed to a "test-drive" by having him spend part of each day in 5th and the rest in his 4th grade classroom.

After only a few weeks of this test period (we had planned on a full quarter for the test), it was clear to all that he was ready, and that delaying his skip to quarter-end would serve no purpose. He was well-received by the 5th graders, was performing at the top of the class in all areas, the receiving teacher had zero hesitance... and most of all, our son was thrilled about the move.

Most noticeable to me was that he was getting some genuine challenge in the classroom. Spelling & grammar are still a non-issue for him, but science & social studies both require greater effort on his part. And overall, his teacher is much more demanding of him, clearly not giving him any special treatment.

I think the "test-drive" helped to ease everyone into the transition, especially by making it very easy to "unwind" the decision -- much easier than with an "official" full skip. Trying this approach with your son may help to alleviate your concerns, and I'm certain that the others who are less concerned will be agreeable to the strategy.

I would be hesitant to go the route of one skip now & one skip later, especially if everyone involved is in favor of the double-skip. I think he will be better prepared for the transition into middle school if he is able to go with a class of kids he's come to know over the course of time, rather than going through the "break-in period" two separate times, with the second occurring as he starts sixth grade.

Have you worked through the Iowa Acceleration Scale yet?
Has the school administered any testing that helps to back up this whole idea?

As for friends & family -- although we love all of ours to the greatest degree, we didn't discuss this with anyone who was not experienced with GT-ed as the constant myth-busting just took too much energy and introduced unhelpful doubt into an already tough decision-making process.

Next, if you haven't already done so, take some time to read through the report, "A Nation Deceived"
http://www.nationdeceived.org/

There's an executive summary to get your feet wet, and then you can plow into the full report for all the gory details. Somewhere in all of that, be sure to read the collection of stories from dozens & dozens of students, parents & teachers... these ultimately gave me what I needed to make my decision on the early-entrance to 1st grade question.

And finally, the fantastic group of fellow parents in this forum helped me tremendously as I was contemplating this most recent skip from 4th to 5th. Lots & LOTS of great advice from many people who've been down this road one or more times already.
http://giftedissues.davidsongifted.org/BB/ubbthreads.php/topics/54989/1.html

Hi Mommyj2,

My DS skipped 3rd and then skipped 5th; so he's 9 and is in 6th.

I may understand part of what you're going through. When the first skip was offered by the school, it was a cool idea much more than anything. Great! It was a no-brainer.

Skipping one grade didn't seem like a big deal in the way that skipping two did. I'll admit to feeling a bit freaked out at the idea of sending him to school with kids who were all so much older than him (remember he was starting middle school, so he'd be the youngest kid in the whole school AND he also wouldn't know anyone). We had to think about the idea. In the end, we decided that it would be the best thing to do. NB, I got him a cell phone to make it easier for him to stay in touch if he felt like he needed to talk to me.


Fast forward. It took him a couple months to get used to the flow things of middle school. At first, I had to help him almost constantly with his work. Now this is starting to ease off (Grinity once mentioned this had happened with her and her son). He is NOT getting all As, but his non-A grades are going up. He does get As in some subjects (but he has to work for them now). Socially, he fits in, is very happy, and is finally learning and facing challenges. YMMV.

He started taking a stuffed animal to school in October; I was concerned that the other kids would laugh, but they responded by...bringing in their own stuffed animals. This last thing was really wonderful for me to see.

He's an outgoing kid and is good at sports, so these are pluses. He also goes to a small private school that gives above grade-level work as appropriate; I don't know how different a large public school system is.

You said your district is gifted-friendly. So, does this mean that other kids have skipped grades? If so, the idea might seem "normal" to the other kids, if you see what I mean. Also, it might be easier for him to go to 5th grade now and then join his new class in middle school, rather than just starting out in 7th grade in middle school if he skips again. Getting used to middle school was kind of hard for my DS at first.

Another point to consider: subjects in middle school are more detailed and more varied than subjects in primary school. For example, my DS is in a wonderful survey course of world history. So in making the decision, you might want to look at what he'll skip in the rest of 3rd and 4th, compared to what he'd have to skip in a higher grade if he did another skip later.

Okay, this was really long. This is just my 2c; YMMV!

Val

Wow! Thanks everyone for your input. I am so relieved to hear about other kids in the same boat as my DS. Thank goodness for this forum.

Our district does use the IAS for the grade skip assessment. Our school did not offer to skip him, we are requesting it. I don't know if skips are common in our schools, but when I spoke with the principal she was aware that it is possible and seemed open to the discussion. Our state also mandates that regular classroom curricula be replaced with quality differentiated curriculum that is complex, rigorous, and demanding for the gifted child.


Like Dandy's DS, mine has spent the last 3 year spinning his wheels, getting all A's, reading 600 page books in 4 days of classtime, and coming home with nothing good to say about school. It was the negative attitude towards learning that prompted us to get private testing. We let his current teacher know about the testing and explained how DS masters things very quickly, but the teacher still insists on having him write spelling words 20 times each!! DS can spell any word we ask, and has been reading most of his current spelling words since he was 3. I don't think the the teacher "gets" it.

Zhian is right too. He doesn't fit in now. The other kids won't talk to him, some call him names, and he gravitates towards older kids, who are generally really nice to him and always wave or talk to him when we go to the high school football games. We do have him in karate, chess club, and robotics classes with a wide range of kids of varying ages. My DH says that if we can get the school to educate him we will take care of the socialization. He is already aware that he is different and says he just can't talk to the kids in his class, he says they don't understand him.

I think I read Grinity's post about having to undo underachievment and it concerned me a little, but that's exactly what we are trying to do. DS8 has never had to work hard for anything. We tell him practice makes perfect in piano, but he has no concept of that being true because he went from beginner to advanced in less than 3 months of lessons...and he never practices, he just memorizes! We are afraid that one day he will come up against a challenge and won't know what to do or how to work through it. What then? Does the learning stop if he won't even attempt it? Oh gosh, I'm projecting too far.

Thanks for reading this post and for helping. I read this to my DH and he's just amazed at the knowledge here.

Keep your fingers crossed for us tomorrow. I'll post an update on how the meeting went!

Mommyj2

LOL - I've probably posted a 100 times about reversing underachievement. We had very few options, and skipped a bridge year, and moved from a public school to a 'product heavy' private school - so although the skip was good, and needed, I wouldn't expect everyone to have as bumpy ride as we did. But I kept telling myself, better now than later. And I believe it.

good luck
grinity

I don't mean to pick on your words but someone told me this and I use it instead now, Practice makes progress

I would try to find time to talk to both the potential 4th and 5th grade teachers. Maybe you can get an idea who would be more excited to work with your son.

I have found that my dd is a lot happier and sucessful bumped up 2 grades for math than when she was only one grade. The teacher takes her age more into account. The age/maturity spread between dd (7 yo and registered for 2nd grade)and the 4th graders is significant, but the older girls are much more supportive and considerate than I think they would be if it was only a 1 grade skip, then it would be easier to just treat dd like a baby.

I don't know what it would be like to have dd in the older room all day as she is socially "young" among her age grade peers. But as the year progresses, she wants to spend more and more time in the 4th grade room.

Next year, I have no idea if she will be in 3rd, 4th, or 5th. I could make equal arguements for all three. The funny thing is that as she fits more into the 4th grade room, she also is fitting more into the 2nd grade room because she can finally be herself. The 2nd graders are noticing and instead of freaking out/becoming competetive, dd suddenly has a lot of friends. Bonus.

I wonder if your son could be accelerated 2 grades in his strongest stubject and just 1 grade for homeroom. Then re-evaluate at the end of the year. It sounds like he might need a radical jolt to his system to encourage him in re-engage.

The question I have been asking myself the past week is: Am I ready for my daughter to be exiting elementary school? At 7, she still perfers to sit in my lap and hold my hand to cross the street.

When does middle school start for your school district? If you accelerate your son midyear, would you have the option for him to repeat that grade next year if need be without it being a failure to meet expectations thing? I could see my daughter doing that, especially if she could have the same teacher for a year and a half.

We'll be thinking about your famiy tomorrow!