Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Learning Environments Ridiculous school behaviors

hahaha, we need more 'smiley' options! I'd post a great big one waving and jumping up & down!
I bet the principal did say that, and I'd bet she is 100% correct. Your son is bored!

We are slowly getting out of that type of behavior. I'll let you know next week, after conferences, to see if we're completely past that at 5th grade.

I think that this is a great way to 'broach' the subject with the Principle. It has the advantage in that you truly don't 'get' what is going on, and can be in the position to be asking for clarification and help. You're 'just' calling to get an confirmation on if he is accurately reporting or fibbing. Kids this age make up all sorts of wild stories - so you won't look strange. Count my DS as one of those ones while 'far out' ideas, that he pursued, especially when underchallenged.

My least favorite was when he taped his mouth shut in 2nd grade. He says that the teacher had threatened to do that to him. I was sure that he was fibbing. Her comment? 'Well, I never really would have!'

Part of it is certainly that when a Highly Gifted child chooses to 'act out' they do it in a Highly Gifted way - so they might be unusually clever in what they try. Sadly for my son, it became part of his internal picture of himself. For boys, it's particularly important that they have a 'title.' There isn't a lot of nuanced thought about being a multifaceted individual with strengths and challenges, even for most gifted boys, at this age. So Shelly, I'm worried that he is behaving badly, but I'm more worried that he might adopt the internal'title' of 'Mr. Unpredictable stir thing up-er'

((hugs))
Grinity

Wow...I wonder why some teachers actually teach.

My son CJ is encountering many of these issues as well. i feel that the teachers just don't like him and won't make any accomedations. My son makes noises and sings to himself. One day it was pretending to be a cat. Teacher really freaked on that one. She says thats why other kids stay away from him.

My 5 year old spends half her days as a cat (literally!). It's sad that a teacher would freak out on an un-engaged child playing make believe.

I can't believe that the teacher said that!!! I'm so mad for you right now!

My DS5.5 (almost 6) skipped K this year also. And when I volunteer in his class each week I see that at "carpet time" he moves around and doesn't keep his eye on the teacher and sometimes plays with the kid next to him. At his desk I see him often tipping his chair onto its back legs. I see him raise his hand and say funny but totally irrelevant things. BUT I also see this in the majority of the kids in his class -- espcially the boys! I am a person who's all about following the rules and not calling attention to myself, so it totally stresses me out out when I hear that he's more, shall we say, spirited. But in a first grade classroom it is SO the norm to be "immature." If you can't be immature when you're 5-7 years old, when can you be?! No, my son isn't academically challenged for a lot of the day and this does contribute to his antics, but even the kids who are challenged act out because they are little kids. And, importantly, in my experience at school, the 7 year old kids are no better behaved than the 6 year olds or even than my DS5.5, no matter what the teachers say. It really can be just a matter of personality, not a deficit of any kind.

I am really lucky that I get to volunteer weekly in my kids' classes, because now that I do I really get to see the HUGE range of behaviors and academic abilities and it has really helped me to relax and not expect perfection from my kids when no kid really is perfectly behaved.

Also, I think a lot of teachers are always trying to find something to suggest as something to work on, like bosses do at job evaluations. They think it's helpful. It drives me nuts. If a child is working at or above grade level and behaving like a normal kid, why can't that be enough? Also, sometimes a teacher will mention a misbehavior and think that they're just sharing something interesting that happened that day, and I take it more seriously than they intended. I really wish if a misbehavior is par for the course that they would just handle it at school and not get me involved.

Anyway, shellymos, I think your DS sounds fun!

I totally agree with this. I pulled out my son to homeschool after 1st grade. He had a bad 1st grade year, but it wasn't necessarily JUST due to academics. Our school wasn't good for active boys. DS is not ADHD. He's just got a higher energy personality - physically and mentally. He asks a lot of questions and likes to talk a lot. There were plenty of boys in my son's 1st grade class having issues at all ends of the spectrum. If you were quiet, well behaved, and were a rule follower you had a good year.

mnmom23 - wow, your DS sounds a lot like mom...I had to laugh when you said he raises his hand and says irrelevant things. My DS recently went through a stage at school where when the teacher called on him he would say "peanut butter and jelly sandwich." He thought it was hilarious! Of course the others thought it was humorous at times too. When I went in to volunteer for a party the other day I would have to guess that he would have to have been in the top 5 of most behaved students. He didn't do anything really out of the norm at all...and the other kids were pretty wild and immature. While I completely acknowledge my DS is immature at times, I also think that because he skipped K and he is the way he is, they tend to watch him more and then see him doing dumb things. Thankfully he has a lot of great things that they see that balance him out. The kids didn't at all seem to shy away from my DS when I observed.

I also know what you mean about teachers commenting on behaviors. Sometimes it is helpful, but sometimes it really isn't. During a conference DS's teacher mentioned that the kids notice that he is smart, but are picking up on his behavior and that another girl said to the teacher the other day "if he is so smart, why does he doe those things." The teacher says that she told the girl "good question, I don't know" I don't always know either, but it annoys me that the implication is that he can't be all that smart if he behaves that way. He is a year younger, and he is being silly and is not completely challenged, that is a big part of it.

Anyhow, this week has been much better with behaviors, the more they seem to challenge him the better the weeks seem to be. I am hoping it continues in that pattern. Although, all the challenging in the world is not going to take away the fact that he is 5 and will still act silly sometimes.

I've mentioned this before, but one time my nephew said that it seemed like my DS "had a party in his brain." It's so true. If I were the teacher I probably would have said that your DS IS smart, and that that is kind of like having a party in his brain, and that sometimes it's hard to keep that party actually in his brain so he does crazy things! Also, I'd like to point out that women throughout history have questioned why men do stupid things (although, obviously, the teacher shouldn't have said that)!

Just this week, my DS5.5 apparently wasn't content to make the traditional Thanksgiving turkey art project and instead made his into a man-eating chicken. The other kids thought that this was hysterical and he and they now raise their hands every once in a while to suggest that the answer to a question -- any question -- is "Man-Eating Chicken!" Luckily, he has a great teacher who sees the humor in this for now and sees it as a sign of his creativity (and re-directs them to a more appopriate response)!