Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Learning Environments Progressive, non-academic focused school?

My older DD is currently in our district's GT program. I would call her MG/HG (138 FSIQ, 146 VCI, 153 GAI). For the first time, I think she is close to being appropriately challenged in her school work. She says she is learning a lot and she loves the curriculum. The downside is that she is also a bit anxious and they have REALLY stepped up the homework this year. And frankly, her teacher is an insensitive ass. She does not like the pressure and I worry about her as things get even more intense in the years to come. Our district is filled with very Type A, super competitive folks.

I found a small Friends (Quaker) school near my work. It is very progressive, little homework, no tests or grades, lots of hands on and experiential learning. Even though it is not "academic", I think it could be a good fit for her emotionally and I think she would benefit tremendously from the outside time and the emotinoally supportive environment.

I know one person (at work) who has two kids here. Her older son left at 6th grade to go to a more academic private school, but he wants to transfer to the county GT magnet school next year. Her younger son is a 4th grader (as my DD would be next year) who is also a bit emotional and anxious, and she says it is a really good fit for him. She would like more homework LOL and I want less.

So I am wondering if anyone here has experience with putting their kid into a less academic environment, but one that encouraged other types of alternative learning.

Here is the school's website for anyone interested:

http://www.friendscommunityschool.org/

Thanks!

Interesting! I'm always on the lookout for school options. Thanks!

A side note: the VCI you list for your DD is a DYS-qualifying score. Unless you think that score isn't an accurate reflection of your DD's abilities, I think you may have a wee bit of gifted denial working there...

You know, I honestly don't know what to make of her scores. I posted about them originally here:

http://giftedissues.davidsongifted....spread_in_WISC_common_sch.html#Post43623

I did not post these, but her achievement test scores were more like 95th percentile, which are not DYS range, which is why I think she is not PG. She is clearly gifted. She does not show it like a lot of kids though. She is happy to do the busy work as long as it moves quickly. She CAN read at a very high level, but does not like to read long books, so she is still reading books far below her level. She gets very anxious when she feels like she is being pushed, but she will happily go into topics long and deep on her own.

So I am stymied. When I originally posted, private school was not an option because DH was laid off and I was job hunting. I now have work and DH's business has taken off, so I feel like we have more options. But so many of the privates here (DC metro area) are pressure cookers that I think would wipe her out emotionally.

What to do.....

Well, I'm no expert, but...

If she is a "hider" who values fitting in more than achieving, her achievement scores might not live up to her IQ scores. Similarly, if she has been underchallenged for a while, doing busy work but not learning anything above grade level, she might not achieve to her potential. Gifted kids who aren't highly motivated to learn on their own may only learn what they are taught. If that's strictly grade-level material, that child may not learn things above grade-level.

A child who is not used to being challenged can feel very frightened to suddenly not know all the answers. It's like having the rug pulled out from under them. They may choose to remain underchallenged rather than to risk being wrong. It's downright earth-shaking for some of them, rocking their reality.

Some learning disabilities can also push achievement scores down.

None of this may apply to your child. I have no idea, of course, because I don't know your daughter, so take this with a grain of salt! But when I see a 99.9%ile on an IQ test that isn't matched by achievement, I tend to ask questions at least...

We had the testing done last year to look for issues related to ADHD like behaviors and anxiety. None of those were diagnosable, but she definitely has a tendency to be very anxious.


This is definitely the first year that she has been pushed at all. They cover a lot of material and cover it fast. I actually think a better fit for her would be harder material covered more slowly, but that's not really what our GT program does. But the general ed classes were a disaster.

Our real issue this year is homework. She is in tears over it. She gets at least an hour and sometimes 2. Tonight was a wreck. I cut her off at 2 hours and she is very upset that she won't get it done. Well, the other issue is her teacher seriously does not get her. It's so frustrating and so sad.

I'm sorry, Beth. I hope things improve. I'm sure not a fan of loads of homework for kids.

That's a lot of homework for a kid!! Is there another teacher in her grade that might be a better fit for her?

Can you take her to see the school and see what she thinks?

You know I'm just thinking that we had a Children's Community School here. I'm wondering if it was the same type of school. I babysat some kids that went there and they loved it. They'd have poem readings at a bonfire once a month and they had gardens to tend to and animals to take care of. The kids were in rooms with different ages. I wish I could remember more about it but I do remember thinking it was such a neat school when I'd go with them.

Hi,

I don't have any personal experience with that agegroup. But that amount of homework for an 8 year old sounds like way too much, there isn't two hours of learning in a day in most 8 year old's classrooms, let alone another two at night. Its a hard spot to be in though as leaving work unfinished surely makes your DD feel even more anxious at school the next day. But doing it all is worse.

If she will stay at this school then perhaps a parent-teacher consultation is needed to identify which homework subjects are a priority, perhaps you can approach a meeting with a stance of "I have some questions in order to help DD manage her time with her homework", such as is it better to partially complete all subjects or do certain ones more completely? Can they help to identify areas where your DD needs the practice versus ones she doesn't? Is she having all this at home due to not completing some items in class time, if so why isn't she and can they help her to find moments during the day to make a start on her homework? Once you are in a conversation you may be able to comment on the excessive nature of the time it is taking without it being confrontational. If the teacher is involved in making a plan about her homework they may feel more lenient/understanding about it in general.

If it comes to the point the teacher sees you as a interfering parent who refuses to let the child do over 45 or 60 min of homework then at least they are blaming you and not your DD. Without a clear message from you the teacher may fault DD for her unfinished homework which wouldn't help their relationship.

It is nice you have options for schools if this one continues to be problematic.

Polly

Hi BethG

Many gifted children (people) are very intrinsically motivated. Because of this a less-traditional (read competitive, worldly success oriented) school may be a bad fit. I would consider the Friend's school very seriously.