I don't want to sound like an overly anxious mother, and I also don't want to sound like I'm "bragging"... so I don't have any friends I feel like I can ask about this in real life. So I am hoping someone here can help.

I think my 14 month old is showing signs of giftedness, but I'm not entirely sure. I don't have a lot of experience with young kids to know what is normal and what is atypical... and unfortunately most development charts don't mention the things I'm noticing.

Right before he turned 14 months, I realized (over the course of one day) that he knew all his letters. I didn't intentionally teach these to him - but he does have a letter book that we occasionally read and plus he has talking refrigerator magnets that he plays with a few times a week when I prepare lunch. One day, just for fun, I asked "where's the letter A?" He search all 26 magnets with his eyes and then plucked off the A. I was really surprised. I asked for, and he correctly identified, every single letter over the course of the day. I was really surprised. The other day, after reading "Eight Silly Monkeys", I decided to see if he knew numbers. He did (1-8 anyway).

I don't know if this is unusual or normal. He wasn't an early walker or anything (he didn't start walking until about a year old). He was early with other milestones, though (like pincher grasp, for example, he obtained "extremely early" according to his ped). His vocabulary is maybe about 8 words - so not massive. He has a great sense of humor, is outgoing, and is a very very very energetic little guy. So... that's him in a nutshell.

I guess I have mixed emotions about the possibility of him being gifted. Bright is great... but gifted is sometimes a real challenge for the child and family. I was labeled highly gifted - and the school I went to as a child never seemed to know what to do with me. It was frustrating, and at times isolating.

I'm not sure if there is a benefit to identifying giftedness early - but at the very least my husband and I can start exploring local education options. We'd even be willing to move to another school district if need be. (My husband works from home, so we are lucky to have flexibility.)

So here are my questions: (a) Does is sound like my 14 month old could be gifted? (b) At what age can giftedness be accurately identified? (c) Is there an advantage to early identification (d) What should I be doing, if anything, at this stage?

Thanks so much for any advice and insights. I really appreciate hearing from parents who have 'been there, done that'. Thanks!

Dr. Ruf discusses signs of giftedness and to what level they correspond and includes infancy in her description. My suggestion is to read her book. It has a couple of titles since she retitled it recently but the information is the same. I have "Losing Our Minds".

I hope that helps.

I think my answer to your question in the subject line would be "at the time, or with hindsight?" :-)

Seriously, my reaction to people being astonished that babies can learn letters at this kind of age is mostly that this is absolutely trivial compared with what all babies are doing at this age without anyone thinking it's remarkable - learning language! Not to mention the enormous amounts of information they're picking up about everything else. When you come to think of it, that they can learn to connect 26 symbols with the sounds that are their names is really neither here nor there.

I'm not saying that your DS isn't gifted! He may well be, especially given that you are. However, I don't think there's any way to be sure now, or indeed, any need to try to be sure. In answer to your qs I'd say: (a) Maybe (b) Varies enormously, and depends on what you mean by "accurately identified". IQ tests are often said to be not all that reliable before the age of 6 or 7, in the sense that they can be administered much earlier, but if the number doesn't reflect a parent's experience of the child, the experts here will mostly suggest that the test may be wrong. If we ask instead at what age a parent can feel reasonably sure that their own child is gifted; well, many here (including I) have felt pretty sure about our 2yos, but then, how many parents of 2yos have felt sure their children were gifted and then changed their minds once the children were 5? We don't know, because those parents are not here to ask. Fortunately (c) No, not this early (d) Do exactly what you'd do with any child: have fun, follow your child's interests, help your child to learn about the world. All this is IMO and just my 2p-worth of course. Have fun!

I agree completely with ColinsMum.

If your mom-gut tells you that your child is "smarter than the average bear," then he probably is. Moms are usually right. If you're not drilling him on his letters and he learned them by 14 months, then he's probably gifted.

FWIW, I had a sense by 8 months that I was dealing with an unusual child. He used logic to reason things out, and I was fairly sure that wasn't normal. So, yes, I think you can see signs early. Testing is squirrely at too young an age, so if you don't need test scores for some particular purpose like school admission, I wouldn't bother.

Does it matter that your child is a gifted toddler/preschooler? Not much. Daycare/preschool options might require a bit more research from you than a normally developing child's parents might need to devote, since academics can be torture for a 3yo child who already knows what's being taught. But otherwise, follow your child's lead, answer questions, go fun places, and enjoy!

Great responses - thanks so much!

I agree with what's been said above about rigorous early identification. DD is only 10 months, which seems REALLY young to even consider giftedness. However, we've talked to our pediatrician extensively about it due to some other issues we've had (we thought DD has some sensory issues, now we're thinking it might be related to her precocious language skills and her desire to always control her environment). While our pediatrician can't say for 100% that DD is gifted, she's ensured us that her development is very atypical.

For us, early "identification" (more like early suspicions) have been beneficial because I've started researching giftedness, which does give an explanation for a lot of behaviors we've seen in DD that we didn't understand before. Also, it was a big help to find this board and know there are other parents out there that have dealt with similar things as we have. Oh, and everybody here has great, insightful answers to my many questions!

I think you're already enjoying one of the benefits of early identification--you found a forum where you can feel free to talk about your child.

In the early years, that was the thing that I found most difficult as a parent. People tend to be focused on milestones during that stage, but I never felt free to share my kids' "aha moments" with other moms.

Our Ped said Mr W was very unusual beginning at his 4 mos checkup. At his one year, she came right out and told us he was PG and we had an amazing adventure ahead of us. She spent 20 minutes with us talking about him.

This was us ... at DD's 2 week appointment they were shocked by her unusual behavior and self-soothing abilities. Even her birth was mouth dropping for the OB/GYN since she helped deliver herself by lifting her head up and out during the c-section. Our doctor is the head of the department and basically said he could retire now since he had seen everything. LOL

Even though I have a laundry list of mouth dropping moments and milestones I still hesitate to classify DD with anything more than HG+. My best friend just laughs at me and says DD is clearly PG and anyone who is around her sees it but I don't feel comfortable labeling her with it because what if she really isn't and she hears people talking of such things ... I just see that as setting her up to fail. And ... to be honest ... I am still crossing my fingers that she is at the most EG.