DS12 is in grade 7.

I have told him that the grades now don't matter. That not all teachers will "get" him. That not all teachers are great about the IEP. That his goal right now is to learn skills rather than do well on tests.

But he feels really bad when his grades are low, especially since he is so much brighter than many of the kids who do better. And he works so hard.

His grades this year have ranges from 50% to 100% on various tests and assignments. There doesn't seem to be a real pattern, but it is clear that sometimes he just has a bad day or two and has trouble pulling it together.

And I will admit that there are times I worry about the grades too, since low grades can be a sign that there is some kind of problem.

So even if the grades don't matter at this point, and we should not focus on them, the question is... What is a "good" grade for a 2E kid? I suspect that his overall average will be in the low to mid 80's. I have told him that anything over a 70 is good, and an occasional lower mark is no big deal. His ADHD doctor said that most parents would be thrilled with an 80 average.

Any thoughts out there?

Wow Eema, that's a hard one to answer! It can vary wildly on things that have nothing to do with your child. I would try to "gauge" the yardstick for your son's school before making even the most touchy feel cuts. Are A's handed out like candy? Do many bright kids work really hard to get B's? For example, our district has a pretty good "disconnect" from 8th grade to 9th grade. In 7th/8th, the smart hard workers can really expect pretty darn close to perfect marks. In 9th, those same kids will be lucky to get over the 90th hurdel in all subjects. I value the A's in high school much more than those from middle school. I've also noticed that grades can be teacher dependent. Some are just easier graders than others. I personally prefer a 'fair" grader (within reason) to the ones that hand out A's for any minimal effort.

This is a very personal question though, one that involves a lot of factors that you will have to come to peace with for your own situation.

On a side note though, you might want to look into which grades might count for the future. For our school, math grades in 7th do factor into 8th grade placement. And all core grades in 8th factor into honors class decision making for high school. There are always waivers, but it's best to get in (if desired) without using that process. We also have a big honor roll trip in the spring that excludes kids who have any C or lower grades.

Good luck!

I was bothered by low grades as a child too. Each year, right after classes started, my mom would help me set a goal for a grade, while reminding me that learning is the goal, not a grade. But if a class was really hard, she'd say that a B+ would be fantastic, and if a class was really easy, she'd say that I could get an A. While it might sound like she was setting up a limiting standard, it really was what I needed so I could relax and just learn. (I would usually surpass whatever she said, and then I'd feel fantastic about that b or c).

Dottie, you should come here! We don't have an honor roll anymore because it was unfair. It failed to show the work some children who could never get on the honor roll, put into their studies. And it made them feel bad. It's part of Positive Behavior something something (PBIS) where there are no negatives and only rewards. School is one big party!

Thanks Dottie.

All good questions. My understanding is that in his particular school system. grades don't matter until well into high school (thank goodness).

I was once told that 10% of the grade 8 graduating class averages in the 90's, 40% in the 80's, 40% in the 70's and 10% in the 60's and below.

If so, he is squarely in the middle of the pack, which is much lower than his IQ scores would predict. But maybe just fine if you are 2E.

To be honest, I am most concerned with his ability to pursue a university program and career of his choice. I wonder if his learning disabilties will be taken into account when he submits grades for university.

Thank you also, masterofnone.

I also try to set the bar a little low in subjects where he struggles. French is a huge struggle and he got 71% on a test. I beamed from ear to ear and told him that considering how hard he worked and how little he knew when he started, this was great! And I meant it too!!

My confession - I was an excellent student with few weaknesses in school, and I have to do a constant reality check to make sure that I don't expect this from DS.

I disagree that it's fine if you're 2E.

My son is 2E and his goal is MIT. When he was in 4th grade and his issues were much more pronounced than they are now he asked me what the best engineering school in the country was. So I told him MIT. "That's where I want to go," he said.

So that's the standard here.

I don't think that Bs are ok for a 2E student. A 2E student either needs additional help and/or accommodations that will bring them up to the A level in most subjects.

Hi Kai.

I really appreciate your input, since this is the issue that concerns me in the long run.

What I don't really know is...do I worry about this in grade 7?

And what if even all the accomodations don't result in excellent grades, only "good" ones?

And what is the goal of accomodations - is it to raise his grades? Or level the playing field? Even non 2E gifted kids must sometimes struggle with those aspects of the curriculum which do not rely purely on brainpower - like neatness, timeliness, presentation skills, athletic ability. Or don't they?

And to what extent do I push a kid who is already trying his best?

And what if I knew that switching him to another school would result in his grades going up, but would take him out of an environment that he really enjoys?

And do I still tell him that he can do anything that he wants to? Or do I begin to work with him to find a path which realistically takes into account his weaknesses?

I am really struggling with these issues.

First--have you tried medication? That makes a *huge* difference here. I would also be sure that he doesn't have any other LDs besides the ADHD.

Is he getting any special help now? I know you mentioned an IEP. Is he getting any accommodations now, like additional time on tests?

We homeschool, which is like one big accommodation, but I finally got a 504 in place at the local school last year where my son takes his yearly achievement test. He had two accommodations: extended time and a distraction free room. His overall score went from the 65th percentile to the 99th percentile and was more in line with his achievement level in his schoolwork.

I struggle with the issue of accommodations as well. I actually think that there shouldn't be time limits for anyone for tests like the SAT.

I don't tell my son that he can do anything he wants to do. We focus on nurturing his strengths and remediating his weaknesses. Only when we have remediated all we can do I turn to accommodations.

Hi Kai.

DS is already on meds and they have also made a huge difference for us. He gets numerous accomodations, such as extra time etc..

And still his grades don't reflect his ability.

He just brought home an English test - he got a 50%! And this is in reading comprehension, which is one of his best subjects!!

He really didn't seem to "get" the questions on the test until the counsellor at school went over them with him. This has been a consitent problem - he can't seem to follow a list of instructions, So this means that one of his accomodations, which is to get written instructions for all work, still isn't helping him.

I am wondering if there is a vision issue here. When he reads, he tends to drop small words. He told me that that words just seem to disappear.

Hi eema,
While skimming over this thread, I was stuck with the question of whether the coursework is just too easy for your ds. Even non-ADHD gifted kids can make “easy” mistakes when the work is too simplistic. Similar to the effect from grade-level group achievement tests, if there is not enough ceiling for class work, the profoundly gifted students could appear “same/same” or less as compared to bright classmates.