This post is really a vent. Yesterday we had a homeschool board game day, and the adults were discussing games for young children. One mom shared that her kids were SO into games that they'd worn out Monopoly Junior and Scrabble junior. I have never had much use for the junior version of games, and my kids have been able to play the regular version of Monopoly from age 4, if not earlier. I never really thought about it as a gifted thing- I just have long held the impression that the junior versions are dull and way inferior to the real games. I mentioned that I/my kids didn't like the junior versions of most games. The other mom went off about how her kids were game FREAKS from a very early age, and proudly declared that even her four year old was playing games now. She was bragging, no doubt about it. She was very loud and had the attention of a whole table of parents.

I found myself unable to answer without making one of us look bad. So I said nothing. This is sticking in my mind and I am wondering how I might have explained without looking like I was bragging or putting her kids down.

In that kind of situation, I find questions are often more useful than statements. E.g. I might have asked "What are the differences between the junior and the adult version, then?" (even if I knew, but actually, I don't!) or "What are you thinking about introducing them to next?". Of course this does invite her to keep talking, and so maybe saying nothing was a better choice in this case!

I think she is sensitive about this for some reason that has nothing to do with you. Sometimes people just take things the wrong way.

I guess what's difficult for me is that it is part of a repeating pattern. I find myself continuing to get into awkward situations with this woman, who is very nice really, but tends to monopolize conversation and do a lot of bragging.

Does she remind you of 'Topper' in the Dilbert cartoons? Chances are, everyone sees her that way. I'd just envision 'Topper' and go on my way.

I'm impressed with how you handled it and don't see a better alternative.

These situations are always hard. I might have said my kids have only played the adult versions and asked what she liked about the junior versions. Junior Scrabble was great for DS4 when he was 2-3 and couldn't have played the adult version yet. He also liked Junior Clue at about the same age, but Junior Clue really has nothing to do with the adult version. It's more like Candyland. Junior Monopoly, on the other hand, is very similar to the adult version, only, in my opinion, more fun and interesting for kids. Instead of paying rent at Marvin Gardens, they buy tickets to go on the roller coaster or the bumper cars. I've recommended it to friends.

Ahh pull up a chair!

There are days when nothing reallys seems as good as it 'should be' and it drives DS13 and me crazy. That drives DH crazy, because - guess what - we aren't perfect either!

Here's our beef of the moment: At DS's highly reputed public high school it's very rare for kids to go to the top schools. DS is starting to get the feeling that whenever he talks to any adults at the school, their answer to everything is 'oh, don't stress yourself, just drop to a lower track in that subject.' He thinks that there is a 'don't stress yourself' attitude that discourages kids to aim high, and feels 'left out.'

I encouraged him to make some new friends amoung the higher achieving students. I also reminded him that when he grow up, he'll move to a different town, and everyone will be all full of themselves and bragging about their kids (this is where the Monopoly Jr. comes in) and that will be really irritating too - because we have that 'outer directed perfectionists' and we will never be at a loss for things that irritate us.

Now Lorel, I'm not saying that your are being an 'outer directed perfectionist' here. But if you are - embrace it! And I don't know how to make this person more palatable, but if you think of my DS just yearning for a couple of braggy, full of themselves folks to challenge him to aim high, maybe it will help.

I find socially that 'beggers can't be choosers' so if you do decide to keep her on the invite list, perhaps some silly comments that exaggerates the situation might help move the conversation along to the next person.

Good luck either way!
Grinity

It's tough, doesn't seem like a right or wrong thing to say. DS5 has always LOVED board games and I find when I bring up board games people ask "oh what does he like to play?" I then am unsure how to answer as all the games we really play are adult games. I try to find a few that are more kid oriented....checkers, yahtzee...as it would be awkward to say things like "scrabble, blokus, set, mastermind, equate" Especially awkward to talk about how he often almost beats me. I just avoid saying anything most of the time. Unless I am with friends because they know all about him and know it is just how he is and it is not a competition. I try to avoid being around people that compare children...it really irks me.

This is completely off-topic, but my jaw is on the ground - I have never seen myself described so succinctly! I didn't know there was a name for me!

Does this mean that when I get irritated with myself for getting irritated at every little thing around me it's called "inner directed perfectionism"?

Oooh, goody, more research I can do!

Ahem ... as for the original topic, I think saying nothing was the right choice. Surely there are other parents in the group who have noticed this woman and her tendencies; no need for you to call attention to it and risk a battle within the group.

I think I'd avoid an invitation for your kid to play games at her house, though!

This sounds to me like a perfect opportunity to put one of my favorite jokes to work! My mom used to tell this one.

*****************
Two ladies who went to school together haven't seen each other in many years, and they meet up somewhere.

"So what have you been up to? Did you marry Brad?"

"Oh yes, he's the most wonderful husband in the world! For our anniversary last month, he took me to Paris and Rome!"

"That's fantastic!"

"Yes, and our kids are so talented--Susan is at Harvard and Jeremy is starting at Princeton in the fall!"

"That's fantastic!"

"Oh, yes, and I just love my job--I just got a promotion and a corner office!"

"That's fantastic!"

"Oh dear, listen to me go on about myself...what have you been doing?"

"Well, after we got married, my husband sent me to charm school."

"Charm school? What's that?"

"That's where they teach you to say "fantastic" instead of "bullsh*t"!

****************

I think if I were in your shoes, I'd practice saying "fantastic" to this lady for a while--even if she doesn't know what it means, you do.

Haha...I like that one

Fantastic! I love it! But I wasn't familiar with Topper. DD9 just filled me in! (I find it very odd that my kids are so intrigued by Dilbert's office humor. They've hardly even seen an office!)

BTW, this is the same woman who has gone around telling people that her daughter is a novelist, because she wrote a 30 page story.

Grinity, I don't think I am a perfectionist in any respect. I generally enjoy hearing about the accomplishments of other people's children, and I can understand that what's no big deal for some will be a very big deal for others. It's all in the way things are presented. Everything is given with a "ta dah!" so that it's nearly impossible to have a normal conversation. I'm sure it's an issue of insecurity on her part.

For the record, I'm sorry if I appeared to be bashing junior versions of games. I'm sure they wouldn't keep making them if many people didn't find them entertaining! My family has not found them to be anywhere near as engaging as the regular games, and we've had fun playing BINGO, Candyland, etc. in the early years and then moving directly to adult games. That's just our experience, which I might have presented as part of a normal conversation, had things not been awkward.