Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy Parent-teacher conference today

It's been a while since I've been on the forum, but I've been trying to catch up lately. I'll reintroduce myself. I'm almost 38 with 4 kids, two of which are in school (5th and 3rd grades). Both of my school-age DD's are gifted, although only one is in the school's gifted program.

DD8 is having a horrible time in 3rd grade, mainly because of Accelerated Reader. She comes home crying daily about the quizzes and gets terribly upset before and after. The teacher is rather harsh, based on what DD8 says. I realize that she may not be quite as bad as DD8 portrays her to be, but we've never had issues at school before. However, AR is heavily emphasized starting in 3rd grade, and DD8 is not a reader. I finally got fed up yesterday when DD said that her teacher made her take an AR quiz on a book she and two others had to read as a group in class. The other two readers read slowly, and DD had trouble following the story as a result. Furthermore, she was at GATE pull-out class Friday when they finished the book. DD, not surprisingly, made a 50% on the quiz. She cried (totally out of character for DD), and her teacher told her to quit crying or she'd call her mother for a conference. I decided to beat her to the punch, so DH and I will be meeting with her and DD's homeroom teacher this afternoon.

Any advice? I've always hated AR, although it was never an issue for DD10 since she's such an avid reader. She's learned how to work with the system. Obviously, there are other issues for DD8 besides AR, namely a personality clash and the fact that there are too many ridiculous rules at that school. It's an if-you-don't-do-x-then-y-will-happen-to-you atmosphere, and there seems to be little positive reinforcement.

That seems really unfair that she had to take a test on a book that she didn't even finish!!!

I don't dislike AR, but I certainly wouldn't like it being a requirement as I've seen/heard is done in some schools. My personal opinion is that it's counter-productive to require it as part of a grade, especially if a certain number of points is also required. And it hardly seems fair to test on a book that had to be read as a group - wouldn't the teacher allow her to re-read the book on her own and *then* take the test?

I'm sorry you're going through this with your DD. Hopefully, once you explain how upset DD is, the teacher will understand that there is a problem here. How much of the grade is from AR? Maybe you could work it out that DD lowers her point total in exchange for extra credit in a different area to make up for it. Or, maybe DD could accept a slightly lower grade if her AR goal is lowered or not met. I personally dislike AR because, as it was explained to me, it's an incentive for kids who don't like to read. Being forced to read is not a way to make an enthusiastic reader. IMHO.

Thanks. These are good suggestions.

AR is only 20% of her reading grade, which I've explained to her. She obsesses nontheless, and I think part of the reason for that is that the school/teachers place so much emphasis on it. They have rewards for the kids who get all of their points. There is also an average AR quiz grade requirement associated with getting the rewards.

I agree with you that AR is an incentive for kids who don't like reading. DD isn't buying into it, though. It's making her hate reading even more, which I'll be sure to point out.

Thanks.

Go Pinky for calling the meeting - good for you!
I hate the little games some teachers play when the child is out of the classroom. One of many reasons that I like full grade skips better than subject accelerations for my son. Seems like the teacher was always having 'parties' and 'cool science experiments' while my son was out of the room. Of course, that could also be my son's 'glass half empty' point of view. Still.

What worries me the most is that your DD is with slow reading kids. Why is this? I think that this should be the focus of the meeting. A kid who doesn't enjoy reading needs to be with readiness-peers even more than the kid who loves to read.

Just keep reminding all the adults involved that what everyone wants is what is best for your DD.

Good luck,
Grinity

Thanks, everyone! The meeting actually went much better than I had expected. The teachers assured me that they do NOT overemphasize the importance of AR in class. There were other "requirements" that DD had quoted that were simply not true. (For example, DD had insisted that her teacher was making her read all of the books twice.) For whatever reason, DD is going through a very emotional period right now, and AR seems to be the trigger. We talked with them about how to handle her when she gets emotional, and they agreed to keep in contact. We did address the reading group, and the reading teacher agreed that it was a bad situation for DD. Overall, it went very well.

I'm so glad to hear that things went well! Do you think that the teacher will move her to a different reading group?

So glad the meeting went well. I do feel sometimes that a am parenting in 'The Twilight Zone.'

DH and I have learned to listen carefully to what DS13 says, but to never-ever accept anything at face value. The weirdest thing is that some of DS13's most outrageous-sounding stories have turned out to be true.

Smiles,
Grinity