We had a P/T conference yesterday and learned that DS(9) does not actively participate in class discussions. If this were normal behavior for DS, I wouldn't be too concerned about it, but it's not.

A little background - DS was accelerated to 5th this year and this is a new school. Since he began school, he's always been active in class, blurts out answers, raises his hand constantly to give an answer and so on. Generally, all previous teachers have commented on it, but it's been positive as opposed to being viewed as disrespectful, if that makes sense. His teacher last year (3rd gr) wrote that he seems to be excited about knowing the info and has a hard time waiting for other kids to answer. We've been trying to help him learn not to blurt out, to give other kids time to answer, etc., but it's just the way DS has always been.

His teacher is confident that he knows the material and if called on, he'll answer correctly, but he's not actively participating. We're concerned about this because it's a relatively big 'change' for DS. We have a couple of thoughts, but are trying not to look for things that aren't there or overreact. Oh, and one other thing that has our attention - DS asked to switch seats and the seat he wanted (and has) is at the back of the class.

So, I wanted to get some perspective...what would you think? Would you be concerned?

What does he say about it? I'd be concerned that the kids in class were saying something mean to him if this is totally out of character for him but it could be many things that's causing this.

It could just be a maturity thing....DS came home from his accelerated math class at that age and said that he only answered if there was a pause of 20 seconds or so with no one else having the answer, .

Nothing . He tends to keep things in until he's good and ready to talk/share. As a general practice, we have to be pretty creative in getting DS to open up about how he feels about things. It could be that he's just growing up and we're seeing some of it with this, but it is out of character (based on previous experience).


This is what I'm hoping. That maybe he's taking social cues from the other kids (ie. they don't blurt out or answer every time, etc.). But it is unusual and a rather sudden change (from our perspective, being that we just heard about it and don't see the interactions day to day), so it threw us a bit.

I used to be a 'back of the class' type (still am, really), so that doesn't bother me as much, if it's just because he doesn't want to be called on.

Thanks!

Out of our six, we have three blurters, two non-participants, and one just right. Seems like it's hard to participate just the right amount to please some teachers. Maybe you could ask for a guage of what the teacher expects...one comment per subject? raising the hand three times a day? This would give your child an idea of what is expected.

Also, I wanted to add that some schools have adopted the idea that (just like job performance reviews) there has to be an area of excellence, and an area of improvement. With my non-participant children, they excel at everything related to school so I sometimes think this is one area where the teachers feel justified listing an improvement.

In fact, one of my non-participants has told me she raises her hand often, but is not called on because the teacher favors the more problematic children, or children who are daydreaming.

I would say that maybe he doesn't want to be the YOUNG stand out one for knowing all the answers and if is called on, will answer, but.... why bother... he already knows it. My daughter says things like that...... I already know it, so why raise my hand. I let the other kids have a turn. Even when my daughter
"appears" to be day dreaming" she still knows the answer. They have an incredible ability to multi-task and do other things while appearing to not be paying attention, they still are.

I wouldn't worry about it. She said he knows it.

My DS (5) is doing the same thing. It is funny, even his teacher already caught on: she asks question, children raise their hands- wrong answer or nobody knows- little pause and DS is rasing his and giving his answer. He does this ever since the beginning of K. I asked him about it once and he said he wants to give the other children chance...LOL