I am new to this board (although I have been reading for a while). I am having some denial issues with my 3 year old. He has met all of the typical milestones early (sometimes very early) so I think my perception of what a three year old should be doing is a little off. DS started reading single words at about 2 1/2 by phonetically sounding them out. Right after he turned 3 he started to read sentences. He quickly picked up about 75 of the most common sight words after a couple of nights of showing them to him. Yesterday he decided he was going to take a book to preschool to read to his teacher...well it turns out that he got up and read a book to the whole class! He is currently 3 years and 3 months old. The book was from the little critter series, so obviously nothing too difficult. I just need a reality check - this is not normal, right??? Help!

Welcome! My son started sounding out words without any prompting at 2 1/2 and was reading easy readers by 3. I started following this forum right around then, trying to figure out what it all meant and what, if anything, I needed to do about it. The information I got here gave me the sense to find a school that would "get" him and the courage to skip pre-K and go straight to kindergarten. He's now 4 going on 5, reading at at least the 5th grade level, and absolutely loving big-boy school. So, no, in my opinion, reading at 3 is not normal, but it doesn't have to be scary either!

Welcome Molly

Most 3 year olds (even a lot of 5 year olds I know) aren't even close to knowing all of their letters so this isn't normal

If this puts it into perspective my son is supposed to be able to recognize his letters and their sounds by the end of Kindergarten and start to know what letter words start with.

Best Reality check in the world is observing a normal kindergarden classroom. Invest a bit of time and take a look. Sorry.

Yes, this isn't normal behavior. It isn't even normal behavior in a group of gifted kids.

Have your read '5 levels of Giftedness' by Deb Ruf. That might help with the denial.

I used to tell myself that my son's friends were probably having 'those' conversations with their moms in the privacy of their homes. Not!

Best Wishes,
Grinity

Thanks for the input. I suppose the most surprising part has been how quickly he is picking it all up with very little instruction. I suppose my biggest concern is that at this rate kindergarden is going to be a complete joke in terms of academics, which maybe does not matter unless he starts acting out.

I just feel so clueless about so much of this. I just learned that there are reading levels assinged to books. I suppose my next step should be to get an approximation of his level and make sure I am providing him the right books. I kind of feel like I just became an elementary teacher...a very unqualified one! LOL

LOL!

Do you think our neighborhood elementary would let me observe the classroom for an hour? I am really curious about what they are working on. I feel so odd asking. Maybe I should wait until we are a little closer to starting kindergarden?

Don't put it off. Go now. IF your neighborhood school says no, ask at a local private school, or a school the next town over. They are all so similar - because they are meeting the real needs of real children. Your child is real too, just without so many peers.

Smiles,
G-Girl

Go observe and start calling around now. You can't ever start too soon. I started trying to do something about my son when he was about 3 and 2 years later I'm not much closer to getting him what he needs but I now know so much more about gifted kids and what their needs are!

Molly, I'm in the same boat as you -- Please let me know what you find out at your local Kindergarten class because I'm very interested.
I deal with GT denial on almost a daily basis with both of my DD's, 3yr9mo and 17mo.
DD3 phonetically sounded out her first word at 2.5. By that time, she knew many many sight words as well.
She has quickly gone from reading random words, reading the super-easy readers to now reading Clifford books almost fluently. I'm assuming this isn't normal, although it's easy to psych yourself out -- especially when a lot of people on this forum have kids who read really early.

Good luck to you and congrats on your DS's reading skills!

I am sure reading these posts is part of my issue - it seems like most of the kids are reading by age 3 or 4.

Our current preschool has a private kindergarden (but not elementary school). He is currently in the preschool program but the next class is pre-k. I might be better off going to the neighborhood school where no one knows me. We have our parent teach conferences on Monday so I will be curious to see if his teacher says anything about it. I am sure my husband will think I am out of my mind if I tell him I am thinking about sitting in on the kindergarden class!

Does he really need to be challenged in preschool/pre-k? I do feel that preschool is really about playing and social skills, so in theory I really should not have an issue until he gets to kindergarden - right?

I don't think you can start too soon. I started visiting kindergartens when my son was 3 1/2 and enrolled him when he was 3 3/4. He didn't actually start school until he was 4 1/2, but by enrolling early, we locked in a great tuition rate that we now get to carry through until middle school.

That said, it did seem early and kind of crazy at the time, and even now I had to check myself to make sure I have things straight. In hindsight, I can see why the public school thought I was loony for inquiring about kindergarten for a 3 year old, but it was the absolute right thing to do.

before you get to the actual classroom, do a search on this board (and the web at-large) for "development milestones".

check out the preschool thread on this board too.

can't start looking at schools too early with early bird kids!

You don't have to share that particular moment with DH, he'll get there eventually. Start with DH by asking what his elementary school experiences were like, and when he learned to read. Ask if he got subject accelerated or was offered a skip, or knew anyone who skipped. Ask if there are any family relatives who quit school because it just wasn't relavant. Start asking your relatives the same kinds of questions. I have a sibling and a cousin who taught themselves to read at age 3. My son, who is 'profoundly gifted' by Davidson's standards didn't learn until 1st grade. Part of the reason that your child looks somewhat normal may be that your family is all or mostly gifted to start with.

You aren't looking for kindergarden classes for your child, you are trying to get a feel for what is 'normal.' Teachers aren't evil when they don't meet the needs of highly and profoundly gifted kids, they are just used to doing what works 99% of the time.

As for skipping K - or pre K - there are pros and cons. If your child is happy and not getting the message that adults are really really stupid (else why would they get so excited about the letter K? else why would they be so suprised and excited that he is reading?) then it's fine to let him go. But I would also make sure that you are laying the foundation for 'learning to learn' by having at least 5 mintues a weekday devoted to some learning activity that is actually challenging.

If the K program is a half day, and not 'academic' then lots of kids enjoy it. OTOH, lots of 'advanced' kids are deeply offended by the normal curricula. Personality makes a big difference.

Grinity

No it is not normal. I keep getting reminded of this by our children's librarian. DD is 2.7 and is starting to sound out words and knows some site words....I don't doubt she will be reading by 3. She has known letters and there sounds for awhile now....I got a reality check when my mom who works for a school sent me the end of year skills for K....currently DD has over 3/4 of them mastered....and here she could not start K till she is 5.5 so almost 3 years away....which is extreamly frightening to me. I plan on observing a K class soon, just to get a feel as well. It definitly reading on here, kind of makes you feel it is not as rare because everyone on here child is doing something similar. However, this is the minority

The point of coming on here is that we are all in the same boat. Grown-up support is extremely important on those days when your "little" is making you want to run away from home. Reading at 3 isn't "normal" by average K standards. K starts with letter sounds and the kids are supposed to be into easy sight readers by the end of the year. I'm willing to bet there are other areas that your little is ahead as well. You just won't realize it until you watch K in action.

Although Grinity is right in that it depends on the kid, I think it also depends on the preschool and kindergarten. In our case, I found such a great kindergarten that I couldn't imagine keeping DS4 in his play-based preschool another year. He was doing fine in preschool--his teachers liked him, he didn't have any behavioral issues and he had lots of friends, including one very close best friend--but he LOVES kindergarten. He comes home smiling and energized every day and is thriving academically. Just the other day he told me that kindergarten is harder than preschool, and when I asked if that was a good thing or a bad thing, he said "good thing." However, if I had had to send him to our public school, where he would have been expected to color worksheets and learn the alphabet along with everyone else, I would have kept him in play-based preschool as long as possible.

Everyone is full of such great information. This is such a responsive group!

I do think my son is coming by this naturally. My husband has a PhD from Stanford and school was always very easy for him. According to his mother he started reading at age three with no instruction. Showing up at Stanford for grad school was the first time he ever had to study. The adjustment was actually really hard on him. I do sometimes feel like we live in a bubble world because so many of our close frinds have advanced degrees from top universities.

DS is also starting to do addition and subtraction. I have been questioning if the milestone charts are accurate since he started talking very clearly (single words) at 9 months old. I do get the impression that most of us here question if the milestone charts are accurate at some point!

I do worry that there will be a point where he will no longer want to do the letter of the day.

It's so nice to be some place where other parents get you

Good luck with everything. Your DS has a great start already since you are already looking into things for him.

I hear you. I have my master's and DH has a JD, most of our friends also have advanced degrees and are extreamly bright. And I have often questioned the accuracy of the milestone charts, I still do actually. It is really hard to wrap your head around the fact that what the charts say is accurate and your child is just that far ahead. I still keep thinking that most kids have to be further along then what the milestone charts suggest. DD firmly falls 3 years ahead on most of he milestones on the charts...which definitly is hard to wrap my head around. Hang in there.

I just visited my son's K class this afternoon. They're learning their letters and figuring out what sound starts the word "cat," for example.

No, it's not normal. It's just normal for your child.

Reading at 3 isn't normal But that doesn't mean it's bad by any means.

Apparently I learned to read at 3 and I have loved reading ever since. My son started at 3 but wasn't much interested until about 4 1/2. At 4 1/2 he picked up reading very fast and went from lvl 1 readers to 2nd grade level in about 3 months. He still lacks the interest in reading bigger chapter books but he will read anything and everything all the time.

That being said in his K class they are working on letters and numbers. Each week is a new letter (they did go over all the letters in the first 6 weeks but now they focus on a letter each week). He enjoys the songs they sing and sometimes the crafts they do for each letter but thankfully she has him doing harder worksheets in phonics group and whatnot.

Definitely sit in on a K class or 2 (each school could be very different so it might be worth checking out a few) and if you think your son will need more start talking to the school before he gets to K. I didn't do so and somewhat regret not having a few things in place before now.

From what I can see if K is 1/2 day it tends to go ok for advanced/gifted kids. If it's full day then it can be more of a problem. I'm worried about next year when my 'advanced' 4 yr old goes to K since it may be full day next year. I guess I'll get a plan in place for her when we get one in place for my son for 1st grade, lol.

Get over your denial:), I am slowly getting over mine too. DS4 started reading at the same age yours and now reading at second\third grade level. I volunteered a few times at his school last year before the summer started(class of 3-6 years old) and believe me he was at par with 6 years old. Now this year we keep wondering what to do with him as even a grade-skip won't help, not that we are thinking about it as he already has a summer birthday and we do not want him to be bullied by older kids or be exposed to the information which is not age-appropriate.

So.. the earlier you get over your denial, the earlier you can start worrying;)

We had a great thread here a while back, about the stages of grief and how many of us go through them as we discover the extent of our childrens' giftedness. It can feel very overwhelming.

I second the observation suggestion.

When we were looking around for Mr W's daycare earlier in the year, DW and I observed a lot of age-peer classes at so-called top schools in Dallas. We found it shocking to say the least. The typical group of toddlers was so far behind him we just cringed to think of him in with them.

I also work with a lot of extremely bright people and we periodically do company picnics and Mr W gets to interact with a lot of other kids his age. He is way ahead of his age peers in the kids in this group as well.

We've also met two couples at work whose sons (5 & 6) were tested as PG this summer. Mr W is appears to be ahead of the milestone lists the parents shared with us.

So, comparisons help a lot. But its also disorienting.

He is 21 months right now and he hangs out with 3 year olds and toddlers at an in-home daycare/HS location. Its not perfect, as I think he is ready for - and wants - daily reading instruction, but its much better than age-peering him. The owner tells us all the time that,"I keep forgetting he is not 3 years old."

I'm going to make a new thread and post what is expected from Kindergartners in our district so you can have an idea.

Edit - I'm not able to figure out how to attach a file so I don't think that I can post his report card.

Don't forget about recognizing numbers 1-20.

And for the record, if I could've had my DS5.5 tested at 18 months for the kindergarten end of year "test", he would've been in like 5th or 6th grade now. LOL

Welcome Molly!

And no, it's not normal!

I would love to see this!

Many of us have experienced this 'big adjustment' and many of us have lost years of our lives because we didn't 'get there' the first time around. Some of us still haven't. It is a myth that advanced kids will be ok no matter what. This is much of what motivates us to get our children into 'reasonably challenging' learning setting at least by middle elementary school. Other kids have years and years of learning the character strength it takes to sit there and work at learning stuff. Why shouldn't my son get that opportunity too?

Then there are those of us who are here because the child themselves acted up so terribly in the classroom, or staged a sit down strike against school. It's hard to watch your kid be miserable because they can't handle a situation that is more painful that what any other kid there age would be expected to handle.

It is really good, Molly, that you are able to notice that your son is different early, and that you are able to talk about what it might (or might not) mean here with us. For me, it just went round and round in my head.

Love and More Love,
Grinity