Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy vultures

ok...sum up for newbies....It has been recommended by the state director of gifted education that Mite, 8, be accelerated at least a grade, should be two....etc.

well, the state has no gifted ed policies per se, so the district doesn't have to comply with state's recommendation.

Sooooooooo....Mite is in the 3rd grade gifted cluster and I had to fight to get that.

Now I want to whine. I feel like all his teachers (special ed, core and math) are hovering like vultures waiting for him to fail. Every tiny mistake (He's averaging 80% in all the classes, but every error so far has been dysgraphic/dysgraphia/visual related) is being pounced on and brought to my attention.

I'm getting soooooooooooo ticked! He's doing 5th grade math at home right now. I'm pacing him so he doesn't burn out, but he started in late August and is a little more than 1/2 way through and doing very well. We plan on starting 6th grade in Jan. But, at school they still want to put him in the low cluster because of his disability.

The principal had promised he could do a full grade exceleration in Jan if the teachers felt he was ready, but it is apparent that was a set-up. Mite's stuck in 3rd.

If they would just take into account his dyspraxia and do the interventions, I *****know**** he'd be averaging 100%. But they still give him math sheets crowded with problems and language arts sheets that have stories on the front side of the page and questions on the back. aiyeeeeee!


argggggggggggggggggggggh!

ok. whining off.

I know I'm new here but having read all your posts I feel as if I know you and your wonderful son Mite. I am just starting this battle and although you are going through hell, you are an inspiration for me! I think it is incredible that "educators" act in such a mean spirited way. The more I read the more I realize how horribly gifted children are treated. Thank goodness you are such a dedicated Mother, Mite is truly blessed to have you for a Mom. **HUG**

Hi Willa! I know you two from other boards - really empathize with the whole IEP frustration! Do you have access to anyone who can help you advocate? Sometimes the educators listen better when you bring in an "outsider" who has an opinion on the child. I know that often when I would advocate as an OT for the child, the teachers all of a sudden took notice because I'm NOT the mom and have a "professional" opinion. I have to echo the previous sentiment - Mite is so lucky to have you for a mom and you are doing a great job! Hang in there. Hope things get better.

Hi Willa,
I don't have any magic answer for you, but I would try sending in lots of baked goods to the teachers. I am 100% serious about this.

I would also try to master the art of the 1 second compliment. "Mite was so happy with the immigration lesson you taught yesterday." and "Mite says your the nicest (funniest, smileyest) teacher he's ever had." and aim for sending these cute little notes by mail or with Mite or email, whatever, at least 3 times/adult/week. Then weekly or every other week, a longer story about how well Mite is doing academically, because, you know how much they care.

Am I scaring you? I should be. You shouldn't have to go so far, and I'm not saying to flat out lie, but you have complete freedom of perspective - put your feelings aside and make good use of it! You can brag/whine to us. I'm pleased that you have options if the major kiss-up job isn't your cup of tea, but I think it's worth trying anyway for the experience.

I feel your pain
Trinity

Touche! Dottie Dear.
We are some bunch of determined Mamas, no?

Amazingly, if you can afford to buy the baked goods it totally doesn't matter that they are store bought. Those oversized cookies work well.

Smiles for us!
Trinity

I'll start but-tering (that should get through the censor) them up. I've already been doing volunteer work for them all -- 12 hours last week!! I'll take some treats in to them, too.

Mite does love the math teacher. She seems to be the most accomodative so far, but still isn't sure he belongs in their class.

BTW, here is a brag. Saturday he was looking at the times table and exclaimed, "Learning the TWINS will be easy"! He was pointing to 3x3, 4x4, etc. So, I took the chance to explain squares (remember he's skipping from the lowest 2nd grade math class to taking 5th grade at home...so we haven't done squares yet). He picked up on it pronto and within 5 minutes had all the squares up to 12 memorized. Today he said, on the way to school, that he wants to learn all the squares to 100. So, he asked me what they were....well, heck I don't know.

anyhow.....

but he's not gifted....just "verbally precocious".


blech!!!!!

another funny from his sped eval last May. He was asked to say two things that were alike. He said a pencil and a shoe. The examiner then asked how they were alike. Mite changed his answerto a tennis shoe and a moccasin -- they are both worn on the feet.

The examiner noted this in his notes. So, I asked Mite what he how he thought shoes and pencils were alike. He said, "Oh! They are inanimate objects." I asked why he didn't tell the examiner that. He said they didn't want to hear those ideas from someone his age!!

but he's not gifted....just verbally precocious

double blech....

ok...enough whining...thanks for the suggestions, I'll give em a try. i'm glad you all enjoy hearing about Mite. I don't have anyone to share it with. I'm glad for forums.

DA--which other forums do you use? I'm guessing SENG for one.

oops I missed a part of the squares tale. Mite said it must not be too hard to do squares up to 100 because if you just did the tens it was like the ones with two zeros. so he said "Like 40 x 40 must be 1600, right? And 90 x 90 equals 8100.?

I was typing too fast.

I'm glad you guys are here. I love hearing about your kids and travails in educating them.

be blessed because you are a blessing!!

Willa: yup, I've seen you around SENG. (I'm doodlebug over there). I also subscribe to the list from mensa, brightkids. Lots of experience over there and good resources! teachers on the list - great asset!
I love the stories about Mite. It warms your heart and reaffirms what you know as a parent when the kids spout off that stuff. Mine does similar stuff - and we sit amazed. Last night he read the "parent reminder" about the field trip today out loud to his dad and I. He got "comfortable" and "disposable" but struggled with "educational", maybe that's why they won't advance his spelling words past stuff like hen, peg and must. (He's 5.7 year, skipped kindergarten).

Trinity: you are so right about the soft approach for getting the teachers on your team. Starting your conversation off with the compliment or positive spin is a great idea. I tried that and it worked great to engage her in conversation, but we still didn't get any advancement in the spelling words. Oh well, one step at a time. Next real advocacy opportunity will be our first quarter conference on 11/3. Patience and home activities will get us through!

what is the url for the mensa brightkids list? I haven't seen that one.

I'm working on the soft approach. Actually I started with the soft approach. It is amazing how quickly the vultures can turn ya into an ogre-parent.

Sign up here:
http://www.lists.us.mensa.org/mailman/listinfo/brightkids