Gifted Bulletin Board

Welcome to the Gifted Issues Discussion Forum.

We invite you to share your experiences and to post information about advocacy, research and other gifted education issues on this free public discussion forum.
CLICK HERE to Log In. Click here for the Board Rules.

Links


Learn about Davidson Academy Online - for profoundly gifted students living anywhere in the U.S. & Canada.

The Davidson Institute is a national nonprofit dedicated to supporting profoundly gifted students through the following programs:

  • Fellows Scholarship
  • Young Scholars
  • Davidson Academy
  • THINK Summer Institute

  • Subscribe to the Davidson Institute's eNews-Update Newsletter >

    Free Gifted Resources & Guides >

    Who's Online Now
    0 members (), 239 guests, and 35 robots.
    Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
    Newest Members
    streble, DeliciousPizza, prominentdigitiz, parentologyco, Smartlady60
    11,413 Registered Users
    March
    S M T W T F S
    1 2
    3 4 5 6 7 8 9
    10 11 12 13 14 15 16
    17 18 19 20 21 22 23
    24 25 26 27 28 29 30
    31
    Previous Thread
    Next Thread
    Print Thread
    Page 1 of 3 1 2 3
    Joined: Apr 2009
    Posts: 430
    J
    Jamie B Offline OP
    Member
    OP Offline
    Member
    J
    Joined: Apr 2009
    Posts: 430
    I'm at the point now where I want to pull DS out of school and just homeschool him. I do work full time from home so I'm not sure how I'd manage but I think it'd be easier than dealing with the school and school board.

    What do you guys tell yourself to keep going and pushing?

    Here's a short rundown of where we are:
    DS is in a regular K classroom. He gets 90 minutes of enrichment a week and the school board says that that means they're upholding their part to educate him. He gets a few 1st grade reading worksheets in class that he has to do at his desk in the corner while the other kids learn with the teacher. Most of the 1st grade work they give him is sent home as homework all the while he complains about how bored he is at school and how he wants to learn something new.

    I've talked to his teacher about moving him up to 1st grade and she says that he's fidgets too much for that to happen. She and the gifted teacher suggested that he had ADD so I got a counselor from the school board to go in and observe him and I took him to his pediatrician. The pedi said he saw no problems and the counselor said that she saw no issues. She said that DSs teacher said his issues aren't really in class it's more that he's clumsy and she's worried about him for safety reasons. They won't even allow him to do AR because he fidgets.

    I've called the gifted department and the head told me that they could put him in full time gifted in 1st grade and he'd be doing some 1st grade and some 2nd grade work (he's beyond both of these right now) but other than that there's nothing that they could do for him. I've tried to talk to the principal but so far I haven't been able to reach her.

    The counselor said that his teacher commented how well behaved he is when he's challenged and that she's going to go talk to the gifted department about moving him up to 1st grade but based on all of my conversations with the gifted department I doubt that that will happen. His gifted teacher said at this point she wouldn't even recommend him for full time gifted next year because he can't focus on the coloring and crafts that they do for 90 minutes a week.

    I'm SO frustrated. No matter who I call it seems like I can't get any help. Nobody seems to understand that coloring for 90 minutes a week isn't doing anything to help DS with his need to learn new things. They do seem to get that his being bored is related to his behavior but at the same time use his behavior as an excuse not to do anything for him.

    I'm at a loss now. I know I've said most of this before but just had to get it out again. This is the only place that I know of to go where people will understand what I'm going through.

    I just don't know what to do now.

    Joined: Aug 2008
    Posts: 302
    E
    Member
    Offline
    Member
    E
    Joined: Aug 2008
    Posts: 302
    frown I don't have any advice but wanted to send you some virtual hugs:

    > smile <

    Joined: Sep 2008
    Posts: 679
    M
    Member
    Offline
    Member
    M
    Joined: Sep 2008
    Posts: 679
    I guess I can't offer much help because I'm one of the "gave up" group. smile But, many many hugs your way. I would make sure you understand all the gifted law/policy that would apply to your son.


    EPGY OE Volunteer Group Leader
    Joined: Dec 2005
    Posts: 7,207
    Member
    Offline
    Member
    Joined: Dec 2005
    Posts: 7,207
    Hi JamieB,
    Have to gone the 'crying in the principle's office route?' Sounds like you are ready...

    Something about your child's behavior is making you feel bad/worried/sad/frustrated. Put everything that's bothering your into your child's social and emotional needs - it's the only language that the school understands.

    Go back and tell the story from this point of view, make them feel the child's suffering. (You and I know what this suffering is like, and assume everyone else get it too, but they don't. Help them.)

    Then state that you don't know what the answer is - but that things can't go on the way they are now. Request, in writting (not email) an immediate trial in the first grade gifted program as a diagnosic to see if that shows what his problem is. Offer to sign a 'waiver' freeing the school for any bad outcomes from a gradeskip. Bring in a few pages that show what your son is doing now - they should be stuff that correlates with things that are learned in school. It may be that the 2nd grade gifted program would be a better fit. Don't get caught up in the 'what about next year?' issue - right now you just have to try and find out what works and cross that bridge when you come to it.

    ((Hugs))
    Grinity


    Coaching available, at SchoolSuccessSolutions.com
    Joined: Apr 2009
    Posts: 430
    J
    Jamie B Offline OP
    Member
    OP Offline
    Member
    J
    Joined: Apr 2009
    Posts: 430
    Originally Posted by Grinity
    Have to gone the 'crying in the principle's office route?' Sounds like you are ready...

    Go back and tell the story from this point of view, make them feel the child's suffering. (You and I know what this suffering is like, and assume everyone else get it too, but they don't. Help them.)
    This sounds like a good plan and I am ready. The full day gifted program is at another school. Should I go to the principal at his school or somebody at the school board?

    Joined: Sep 2009
    Posts: 7
    C
    Junior Member
    Offline
    Junior Member
    C
    Joined: Sep 2009
    Posts: 7
    I am a teacher who is going through the exact same thing with my ds6. Go to the principal first. Try to get them on your side. Read A Nation Deceived (you can get the entire report on-line). Talk to the principal about subject acceleration (which is a lot more than worksheets in the corner). Ask them about center activities or choice activities for your child. I wish we had the chance for the gifted school option. I would take it in a heartbeat and my son goes to my school. smile

    Joined: Apr 2009
    Posts: 430
    J
    Jamie B Offline OP
    Member
    OP Offline
    Member
    J
    Joined: Apr 2009
    Posts: 430
    I'm shy too so this is very hard for me.

    I have the testing results and have shown them to every person that I've asked for help smile When they see them they let their mouth hang open for one second and make a comment about how I'm right and they are high scores but so far it hasn't helped much getting anything done.

    I wish his teacher had an email address that I can use. We communicate through his agenda book and we usually write back and forth a few times a week.

    Thanks for the strength smile

    Joined: Apr 2009
    Posts: 430
    J
    Jamie B Offline OP
    Member
    OP Offline
    Member
    J
    Joined: Apr 2009
    Posts: 430
    Originally Posted by crain
    I am a teacher who is going through the exact same thing with my ds6. Go to the principal first. Try to get them on your side. Read A Nation Deceived (you can get the entire report on-line). Talk to the principal about subject acceleration (which is a lot more than worksheets in the corner). Ask them about center activities or choice activities for your child. I wish we had the chance for the gifted school option. I would take it in a heartbeat and my son goes to my school. smile
    Wow...so you teach at the school that your son goes to? I can't imagine how that must be. I'd be scared to say too much because of my job but at the same time being there might help get what you need for your son.

    Joined: Sep 2009
    Posts: 7
    C
    Junior Member
    Offline
    Junior Member
    C
    Joined: Sep 2009
    Posts: 7
    Did I write this??? Weird...I am not alone!!!

    Joined: Sep 2009
    Posts: 7
    C
    Junior Member
    Offline
    Junior Member
    C
    Joined: Sep 2009
    Posts: 7
    It's actually worse having him there. We already took him out of a different school because he was already "known" at the school for his terrible behavior. I thought I was taking him to a safe haven at my school, but it is the same story...
    "Modify his behavior...if he's so smart, he should know to behave" They subject accelerated him in Reading last year in Kindergarten, but haven't this year. They think he is ADHD or ODD or Aspergers or EVIL...they haven't decided. It is REALLY hard on me because they don't understand him and haven't taken the time to like him.

    Joined: Apr 2009
    Posts: 430
    J
    Jamie B Offline OP
    Member
    OP Offline
    Member
    J
    Joined: Apr 2009
    Posts: 430
    Originally Posted by crain
    They think he is ADHD or ODD or Aspergers or EVIL...they haven't decided. It is REALLY hard on me because they don't understand him and haven't taken the time to like him.
    This makes me so sad frown I switched schools this year for the exact same reason. Last year he was the "bad kid" and not only the teachers but the students knew it.

    Oh and the last time I called the gifted department the lady told me to just discipline him like any child and he'll be just fine. Hahaha!

    Last edited by Jamie B; 10/20/09 10:30 AM.
    Joined: Dec 2005
    Posts: 7,207
    Member
    Offline
    Member
    Joined: Dec 2005
    Posts: 7,207
    Originally Posted by Jamie B
    Originally Posted by Grinity
    Have to gone the 'crying in the principle's office route?' Sounds like you are ready...
    This sounds like a good plan and I am ready. The full day gifted program is at another school. Should I go to the principal at his school or somebody at the school board?

    Sounds like a good time to make a 'I can't take it anymore' appointment with the principls at both schools. I wouldn't try the school board unless the princ. from the second school won't talk to you. Just a hunch that their job is to be the wall.

    Best Wishes (you are getting close!)
    Grinity


    Coaching available, at SchoolSuccessSolutions.com
    Joined: Jul 2009
    Posts: 1,743
    O
    Member
    Offline
    Member
    O
    Joined: Jul 2009
    Posts: 1,743
    We are with dealing teachers who don't understand what high levels of gifted means to a child.Along with that we are learning what to do. Try to have a lets work together attitude. I would go to the principal for help. If she doesn't understand can you get an expert to validate what is needed for this child. We have a therapy type organization in our area that specializes in helping families deal with giftness. Can the people who did the testing make a formal reccomendation for education?I'm not sure if this is the best way to go but thought I would offer the idea.

    Joined: Dec 2005
    Posts: 7,207
    Member
    Offline
    Member
    Joined: Dec 2005
    Posts: 7,207
    Originally Posted by crain
    It is REALLY hard on me because they don't understand him and haven't taken the time to like him.

    I strongly advice families to put their kids in classrooms where the teacher likes them. My son spend 2nd grade with a teacher who though that 'there was something wrong with him.' 6 hours a day, 180 days later, she had him quite convinsed. This teacher did, I believe 'love' my son, but it just plain wasn't good for him to be with someone who judged him harshly (and unconsiously encouraged the kids to do the same.)

    Sometimes this can be turned around with the sneaky old trick.
    A) Send in notes every other day about what your child likes about the teacher. Strech the truth if need be, but don't get caught.
    B) Report that you are doing a 'home disipline program' that gives rewards for the good things he does in school every week, so ask for a weekly (or daily - if you think that she's do it) highlight that you can use as part of your disipline program. Tell her that you are particularly looking for moment that prove to your son that he can focus, or be kind, or whatever the current charge against your son is.

    Best Wishes,
    Grinity


    Coaching available, at SchoolSuccessSolutions.com
    Joined: Apr 2009
    Posts: 430
    J
    Jamie B Offline OP
    Member
    OP Offline
    Member
    J
    Joined: Apr 2009
    Posts: 430
    Originally Posted by Grinity
    Best Wishes (you are getting close!)
    Grinity
    Thanks!

    Joined: Apr 2009
    Posts: 430
    J
    Jamie B Offline OP
    Member
    OP Offline
    Member
    J
    Joined: Apr 2009
    Posts: 430
    Originally Posted by onthegomom
    We are with dealing teachers who don't understand what high levels of gifted means to a child.Along with that we are learning what to do. Try to have a lets work together attitude. I would go to the principal for help. If she doesn't understand can you get an expert to validate what is needed for this child. We have a therapy type organization in our area that specializes in helping families deal with giftness. Can the people who did the testing make a formal reccomendation for education?I'm not sure if this is the best way to go but thought I would offer the idea.
    Unfortunately the school board did the testing smile

    Joined: Dec 2005
    Posts: 7,207
    Member
    Offline
    Member
    Joined: Dec 2005
    Posts: 7,207
    Is homeschooling an alternative?
    I just saw that the 'full time gifted program' for 1st grade does mostly first grade work. Humm. Better to visit and observe now than invest too much in that alternative...
    Grinity


    Coaching available, at SchoolSuccessSolutions.com
    Joined: Apr 2009
    Posts: 430
    J
    Jamie B Offline OP
    Member
    OP Offline
    Member
    J
    Joined: Apr 2009
    Posts: 430
    Originally Posted by Grinity
    Is homeschooling an alternative?
    I just saw that the 'full time gifted program' for 1st grade does mostly first grade work. Humm. Better to visit and observe now than invest too much in that alternative...
    Grinity
    It's an alternative but I want to see what else is out there. I'm a programmer and work from home so I'm sure it's doable because it's not like we'd have to spend 8 hours on school each day.

    Joined: Apr 2009
    Posts: 370
    C
    Member
    Offline
    Member
    C
    Joined: Apr 2009
    Posts: 370
    I want to give up and ditch school at least once a month. However, my kiddo is much happier with it than I am. She wants to stay in school. It took us an entire year of advocacy to get appropriate placement for this year. Last year was a complete wash academically. My whole family was stress out and miserable.

    Yesterday I went to our 1st parent teacher conference and it was great. Having teachers who really like your kid and want her to be challanged makes all the difference. DD is now fully integrated into 4th grade math and getting very good marks.

    She is in a pullout Language Arts/Ecology enrichment group with 2 other girls. The teacher doing that has arranged a penpal relationship with an environmental activist/children's book author. The are currently making a water conservasion board game. One copy is going to another school in Australia and one will stay at their school. Once its done the girls are going to visit all the sciece classroom pk-12 to let them know about their project.

    DD is in a solo reading group. Just her and the teacher. That she loves too! They are reading a Wrinkle in Time!

    But this was after a year of review and barely any differentiation or acceleration. I know the administration has a different view of what to do with gifted than her current teachers. I'm hoping that this wonderful boardgame thing will help convert them. Maybe she can skip 3rd and have the wonder 4th grade math teacher next year all day (except math)?

    The school also has a gifted summer camp program. DD qualifies testing wise, but its for kids who have completed 3rd-5th grade. Her teachers said she should apply this year!


    Warning: sleep deprived
    Joined: Apr 2009
    Posts: 430
    J
    Jamie B Offline OP
    Member
    OP Offline
    Member
    J
    Joined: Apr 2009
    Posts: 430
    It sounds like you've made some great progress Chrys!!! The board game sounds so cool!

    Does your DD like the arrangement now?

    Joined: Dec 2005
    Posts: 7,207
    Member
    Offline
    Member
    Joined: Dec 2005
    Posts: 7,207
    Originally Posted by Chrys
    Once its done the girls are going to visit all the sciece classroom pk-12 to let them know about their project.
    Wow!!!

    Quote
    DD is in a solo reading group. Just her and the teacher. That she loves too! They are reading a Wrinkle in Time!
    Wow - loved that book! Would have loved to read it with my teacher in 2nd grade! Heavenly!

    Quote
    But this was after a year of review and barely any differentiation or acceleration. I know the administration has a different view of what to do with gifted than her current teachers.
    Good for you for all that daring and hard work!
    Quote
    I'm hoping that this wonderful boardgame thing will help convert them.
    It might, but my hunch is that the subject acceleration in 4th, and the relationship with the 4th grade teacher will be what clinches it.

    Quote
    Maybe she can skip 3rd and have the wonder 4th grade math teacher next year all day (except math)?

    The school also has a gifted summer camp program. DD qualifies testing wise, but its for kids who have completed 3rd-5th grade. Her teachers said she should apply this year!

    Both sound like great ideas! Thanks for sharing the good news. We need to hear it!

    Smiles,
    Grinity


    Coaching available, at SchoolSuccessSolutions.com
    Joined: Oct 2008
    Posts: 84
    N
    Member
    Offline
    Member
    N
    Joined: Oct 2008
    Posts: 84
    Your story sounds just like ours.
    I am this close to giving up......
    I feel that all this energy that we spend on advocating, could benefit to my DS in a productive way if we would be homeschooling.
    Hang in there, I know it is not easy.

    Joined: Apr 2009
    Posts: 430
    J
    Jamie B Offline OP
    Member
    OP Offline
    Member
    J
    Joined: Apr 2009
    Posts: 430
    On Tuesday I went to school to read to the kids in the library so I stopped by the office and asked to talk to the principal and was told that she wasn't there. Yesterday I called for her and was told that she wasn't there and I left a message. Today I called and was told that she was out sick and whatever I had to talk to her about I could talk to the teacher about. No offer to take a message. I went early to pick my son up and guess who was in the office just walking around?? The missing principal! My son and I had to get somewhere so there's no way I could have stayed and talked to her but I guess I'll try again tomorrow ;(

    Joined: Oct 2008
    Posts: 84
    N
    Member
    Offline
    Member
    N
    Joined: Oct 2008
    Posts: 84
    That sounds so frustrating. I am so sorry, that the principal is avoiding the conversation. Hope that you can have a good talk tomorrow.

    Joined: Jul 2009
    Posts: 1,743
    O
    Member
    Offline
    Member
    O
    Joined: Jul 2009
    Posts: 1,743
    Yesterday, I got my son's whole desk worth of books because he would be out from school 2 days. This scared me about acceleration. I got really intimidated by so much I just don't really know about. How will I figure out what he needs? I thought about giving this up.

    Deep Breath, it will be OK they don't expect me to be an expert. I'm a mom not a teacher or Gifted expert. Sometimes little changes can make a big difference and that's all I really want right now.

    Joined: Apr 2009
    Posts: 430
    J
    Jamie B Offline OP
    Member
    OP Offline
    Member
    J
    Joined: Apr 2009
    Posts: 430
    Another update....I thought DS was having a good two weeks at school. No big behavior problems except talking out of turn. Today he came home with a behavior ticket. I'm not exactly sure what it is but it's something that the teacher and I both sign and that they keep on file. It was for bad naptime behavior. When he started this school I talked to the principal about naps and told her that he has never taken them and she promised me that they'd find something else for him to do.

    Not only did he have a write up but he came home with a behavior plan. When I went meet with the teacher a month ago she told me that she didn't think behavior plans worked and that she wouldn't put him on one. Now for every activity they do he gets a happy, medium or sad face and I have to sign it. Looking at it I've noticed that most of his sad faces are during nap, math or reading time. This only leads me to believe even more that his behavior is related to his being bored. We have conferences on Tuesday and I guess I'll find out what it's all about.

    If I didn't know better I'd think that the teacher is going to use this behavior plan as yet another reason why they won't accelerate him in anything.

    Last edited by Jamie B; 10/23/09 08:24 PM.
    Page 1 of 3 1 2 3

    Moderated by  M-Moderator, Mark D. 

    Link Copied to Clipboard
    Recent Posts
    Testing with accommodations
    by aeh - 03/27/24 01:58 PM
    Quotations that resonate with gifted people
    by indigo - 03/27/24 12:38 PM
    New, and you'd think I'd have a clue...
    by astronomama - 03/24/24 06:01 AM
    For those interested in astronomy, eclipses...
    by indigo - 03/23/24 06:11 PM
    Son 2e, wide discrepancy between CogAT-Terranova
    by astronomama - 03/23/24 07:21 AM
    Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5