Acceleration has to be taken on a child by child basis. I agree with whoever told you to use the IAS manual in helping with the decision.

As far as the social part of it goes.... For most of these kids, the preference is toward older kids. They have nothing in common with their agemates and tend to find friends that are a few years older. In many ways, acceleration is much harder on the parents who are looking forward to macaroni pictures and kindergarten musicals.

I have DS6 currently powering through Greek Mythology and Pre-Algebra. For him this is "normal". I think that's the most important thing to think about. Define "normal" for your child. It doesn't make any sense for a child to go to school and not learn anything. While I sometimes think about how much easier life would be if my son followed the middle of the curve, I also would never have had the opportunity for 1001 other things that he's managed to surprise me with. Around here, "AHA" moments happen almost daily. It's an awesome thing to watch.

I can't fathom what my DS would be like if he were stuck in a 1st grade classroom all day. Have you asked your DD what she thinks? Willing to bet she'll have an answer...LOL

Jamie:

We were in your shoes four years & two months ago. Our son, still 4, was slated to begin K in the middle of August. Two or three days before school was to begin, we were approached by the various teachers & principal strongly recommending a grade skip.

He'd been reading fluently since 3.25 and by 3.5 he was reading @ 2nd+ grade level.

Honestly, we never thought anything about a skip. In fact, I told the teacher about a year earlier that I wouldn't dream of grade skipping... which is why they waited until they'd all spoken to each other and then they came to me as a team.

They reviewed the end-of-year K assessment, showing that he was beyond that. Then they showed me the end-of-year 1st grade assessment... and he was beyond that with the exception of a couple skip-counting skills.

I was floored. But what they shared made perfect sense.

I then turned to the internet for what seemed like 24 hours straight. I read so many forums, my eyes started to bleed. "Do it!" -- "Don't do it!" Back and forth I went.

What finally provided the answer was the report, "A Nation Deceived"
http://www.nationdeceived.org/

Reading through the report -- which summarized years of research on the issue of acceleration -- wiped away so many of my own misconceptions. And then reading the collection of stories from dozens & dozens of students, parents & teachers ultimately gave me what I needed to make my decision.

Start with the executive summary to get your feet wet, and then plow into the full report. You are able to download everything for free from the website.

Then read through the stories. You will likely see your child described in many of the anecdotes -- who knows, you might even see yourself in one or more also! I know I did.

The day before school was set to begin, I took our son to the Back-to-School night and introduced him to the 1st grade classroom and teacher. She asked him if he'd like to visit her class for the beginning of the year to see how he liked it. He said he was OK with that.

I was a nervous wreck for the first week or more, but then after the teachers got me to relax, I saw that my son was thriving. Although he was 1-2 years younger than anyone else, he jumped right in and did great.

We don't regret the decision one little bit.

-- -- --

Fast forward 4+ years. He just turned 8 and is in 4th grade, about to start 6th grade math and is off the charts for reading & language. We didn't have him tested until this summer, which really turned our lives upside down.

We're now faced with the possibility of another grade skip -- or more -- and it feels like we are revisiting many of the same concerns as before, but on a larger scale.

I'll tell you this... if we hadn't skipped K and started him in 1st, I suspect we'd be in a much more complicated situation now. Getting the one skip out of the way nice and early helped immeasurably. From what you describe, I bet you'll be faced with a similar decision in a handful of years... but don't let that prospect color your decision now. (Trust me, you'll drive yourself crazy with all the "What-ifs" by trying to telescope 4+ years into the future and might wind up making no decision at all.)

I wish I had discovered this group "back in the day," as there are many more people who are dealing with these situations, and many have also BTDT (Been There Done That) two or more times.

Good luck with your own decision making process.

Welcome, welcome... I'll just say 'ditto' to everything Dandy said I remember being filled with panic and doubt when we made the decision to accelerate our girls. It was a torturous time coz there just aint no quick come back to "what's going to happen when x wont get her driver's license at the same time as everyone else?" etc.

All I can say is focus on the here and now... Solve today's problems and spend less time anticipating problems that might occur 10 years down the track.

The torture/self-questioning/self-doubt you're going thru will probably be very short lived. We certainly haven't looked back. While some people sprout the pros and cons of accelerating, many don't appreciate the pros and cons of NOT accelerating. Each child is different, etc. but think about what is likely to happen if you don't grade skip (?) What's the fall out going to be? How will this impact your sons/daughter's behaviour? What's the likely effect on your child's learning habits/attitude to school, etc.

Good luck, jojo

Wolf turned 5 in late August and is in 1st this year. We chose to accelerate because we knew it would be needed eventually and this way it won't be a huge missing friends oh your that kid who skipped a grade thing later. Luckily we are in an Independent Study program so most classes are mixed grade anyway and it is easy to do additional subject acceleration.

He started Tiger Scouts (which you have to be 6 OR in 1st grade to join) and is TINY compared to the other boys, but it doesn't seem to bother him or them in the slightest.

The questions I feel you really need to answer for yourself are:

1. Who does she prefer to be around? If the answer is older kids that is a point towards being ok with a grade skip.

2. Is she mature for her age? If she isn't then that is a major factor to consider.

3. What do the people that know her think? (daycare, pediatrician, close friends, etc...) EVERYONE who knows Wolf said he should skip.

4. Is she physically ready for the school requirements for 1st graders? (longer days, more writing, longer attention span, etc...)

5. What does she think? Does she want more challenging work?

6. Would a half day K, half day 1st be better for her than a full skip?

The frustration issue could be a perfectionism thing which seems to be common in kids like ours and would be something you would have to deal with in any school situation eventually. Wolf doesn't have that problem, he's much more likely to just not pay attention and/or skip ahead and get things wrong because of that. Each kid has their own eccentricities!

Wolf has never been "officially" tested. He took a series of grade level assessment tests through a charter school which is how we found out what level he was actually at.

Hi! I don't know if this will help or not, but we had a similar situation. We've done both subject acceleration and a full-grade skip. There are pros and cons to each.

My DD8 has a September birthday and received early admittance to K, so she started K less than a week before her 5th birthday. Absolutely no problems there being the youngest since she was clearly at the top of the class academically and essentially the same age as most of her classmates, although there were a few that were a year or so older. She has always been a rule follower (able to sit still, raise her hand, do what she was told). 1st grade went well, too, but everything in class was easy for her. We started 2nd grade looking for a teacher who could differentiate, but we all ended up realizing she needed more than a 2nd grade teacher could give her. In November of 2nd grade she started going to 3rd grade in the mornings for reading, writing, math, art, and phy ed (because that was the best way for the schedule to work) and 2nd grade in the afternoon. The school was worried about her being so much younger that they didn't want to fully skip her. We figured she could handle it, but didn't push it since she had a ton of really good friends in 2nd, and this way she could have lunch and recess with them. But, she ended up making great friends in 3rd grade and really felt comfortable there as well. It ended up being a transition year. This year, with all of us in agreement, she is in 4th full time. It is going really really well. Sure, there is a boy in her class with the same birthday as hers and he is two years older than her, but truly you could look at the entire class and never know she was any different age-wise. She has great friends and is good with seeing her age-mate friends outside of school or even before and after school. School work is still easy for her, but a least she's learning new information and not sitting in a class full of kids learning things she already knows well.

In my DD8's case, the full-grade skip works really well, because all the subjects in elementary school are usually designed to be interactive (i.e., you do math when you're doing science, you practice writing when you're learning about social studies, etc.) Her 3rd grade teacher recommended that if she ever needs acceleration again that it be a full-grade skip for this very reason. Of course, this works in her case because the subject accelerations were for all of the core academic subjects, not just one of them. Also, while my DD didn't have any problems transitioning back and forth between the two grades, that could have been an issue. A full-grade acceleration, too, makes it a little less-obvious to the other kids. With a subject acceleration everyone sees your child coming and going from the classroom (although, honestly, young kids barely notice since lots of kids are pulled out for lots of things) and this can call attention to the fact that they are different. With a full-grade acceleration it's just not as obvious, although I'm sure eventually everyone will figure out the age difference.

My DS5.5 just skipped K and we did it now in part because we knew that this way he wouldn't eventually have to transition to a whole new group of friends. He has a November birthday, so there are kids who are already 7, but he's just a few months younger than most of the kids and, since he's very tall, you couldn't pick him out of the group either. He's a little bit more active than his sister was/is, but so are most boys in 1st grade. He still knows most of the academic stuff already, and he's had to learn some of the stuff that everyone else learned in K (the Pledge of Allegiance, where the bathroom is, etc.). He doesn't seem to have missed anything that a gifted kid can't pick up fairly quickly. Some other things we considered in his case were that he had a lot of friends who were in 1st grade so we knew he would fit in, and that he is generally even-tempered and easy going.

Which leads me to one other thing to consider, and this most certainly varies from school to school. In my kids' school there is a very wide range of ability and maturity given that there is also a huge socioeconomic range. We have a ton of ESL kids and a ton of middle class kids and a fair number of kids of highly educated parents. We have a fair number of kids who can't sit still for long even into 2nd grade and a fair number of kids who do exactly as they're told. But every school is different. So, before you make a decision, I would suggest you go into a few of the 1st grade classes into which you are considering moving your daughter and just watch for a while. See if you think your daughter is similar in maturity level. She if she would stick out socially or if she would blend in well enough. She what the routines of the class are. That alone could help a ton with your decision.

So, there are a lot of things to consider, as everyone else said, and only you know what's best for your child. Probably you already have a gut-feeling about it. And it is a big decision. But remember, that with these gifted kiddos, adjustments to their schooling always can -- and will probably have to -- be made and all you can do is do your best.

Even in my super-long post I forgot to mention that the school was very particular about finding out if my kids were ahead just because I was an attentive parent who taught my kids things or whether they truly were gifted and learned at a faster pace. They didn't want them ahead now but unable to keep up with the pace of the higher grade eventually. They administered aptitude and achievement tests, had my kids observed by the higher-grade teachers, and took entry and exit exams for the grades in which they were preparing to enter. The school believes that a whole grade skip is appropriate if no other lower-level of accomodations are enough and if the student is in the top 5-10% of the accepting grade.

I think the differing opinions you are reading come from each kid, family situation, and school options being different. This is just such an individual decision. I drove myself crazy trying to find the "right" information that would answer my questions -- I thought if I had enough test scores, advice, read enough, researched enough, then I'd figure it out. For us, it hasn't worked out that way. I'm still figuring it out .

I agree with many of the previous posters that your DD is likely gifted. I'd recommend ability testing to give you more information for future decisions, but see above for it not really helping much .

I think one grade skip would likely be handled socially fairly well and most people recommend doing them early. I'd like to support that with anecdotes, but they really run both ways. Things like Nation Deceived will support it, but I know a *lot* of skipped adults unhappy with their skips, so I don't find the research helps me much (and it's pretty limited anyway). My kids haven't grade skipped but it remains something discussed pretty much every year. My reasons for not wanting it early included that K was quite fun (three recess periods a day, sand boxes and playdoh in the rooms, lots of flexibility and differentiation). Reasons for not doing it afterwards included finding an HG school. We have done subject acceleration in both regular and HG school. For one kid, this broke up the day and made everything work easier -- more social opportunities, less time in any given activity, more recess time. For another, it seemed to add stress with running back and forth and increased responsibility for assignments from multiple teachers.

One of the things I agonized about was changing the social situation without gaining much for academics. At 5, it was harder for me to see whether I thought my kids would care about age based competitions, sports, etc., than it is in later years. The development differences can seem big at 5 too -- most kids were much more coordinated at 6 than my kids were at 5. My kids liked age peers and older kids, but I wasn't sure that would still be true a few years later. Really, though, the academic issues bothered me most. I couldn't see that a year or two would help the academic issues much. One kid doing subject accleration complains that it is more work for no significant benefit academically. For kids where one or two years would get to a great placement, it might be fabulous.

Even with all that . . without an accelerated school, I suspect my kids would be skipping, even with my reservations and worries.

G3's reply made me forget that there are other options sometimes. Are there any GT schools in your area? My ideal (for my kid) would be to with other kids his age, but who are also at his intellectual age. Don't have this option where we live now, but G3 is so right. Any decision you make will be based on what you think is best at the time, and you will possibly (probably?) have to make changes in the future.

And I forgot to answer the question about testing. To help us in our schooling decisions, we had our DS privately ability tested at age 4. The local public then did their own achievment testing last spring.

Ahh ... wouldn't this be nice!?

Hi Jamie, and welcome! I'll throw my seasoned experience on the table, for what it's worth. As others have said, there is unfortunately no "right" answer for many of these kids, but luckily that can often mean no "wrong" answer. Fine tuning is needed each step of the way, and making early decisions that will have delayed impact can be hard.

Here's my experience, and my lessons learned. Hopefully someone with a more radically experienced girl child will chime in, as I think their input would be significant.

I have three children, but only two are accelered. My oldest, newly 15 is similar in age to your daughter's current situation. She started K early, with a birthdate that just missed our local cut. She was/is not as advanced as your daughter, but does test MG/HG. Academically, the early start has been wonderful for her. Only a few years were really ill-placed "easy". Most years, she's had adequate challenge. Yay for us...but for you, the advice is challenging. Her 'young' age has never been a real issue, but it has been an issue. She has always been somewhat sensitive to being "younger". At her birthday party again this year, many parents assumed she was turning 16 instead of 15. She has always enjoyed turning the "normal" age even if a tad late. She would not like to be the younger age for too far into the year. Your daughter is her own person, but I think mine would just hate being that extra year younger, just for the social thing. That is probably your biggest 'unknown' at the moment. Academically she'll be fine.

Now...my son is more "radically" accelerated. He early started K and skipped another grade, and is presently still 10 in 7th grade. He's 2 full years, sometimes more younger than many of his classmates. He's less "social" than his sister, and more "who cares" in attitude, although I won't lie and say it's a complete non-issue. There's no doubt though that he's a novelty, and he can't blend and hide like his sister can with her "slight" youth.

I also have a lock-step age child, also gifted, and she is my "pace car". I do see differences in her academically and socially, just from those extra 6 months she has on her sister. Much of that could just be personality, and "2nd born-ness", but I do wonder at times how the different path might have gone with different choices.

I have no regrets at this stage of the game...just some "what ifs" in the back of my mind. If you can straddle the two grades for a bit, it might buy you some time.

Best wishes!