We expected a small pull-out group for math for DS7 (2nd grade) but it has fallen through, apparently due to change in personnel at the school. He was given a math assessment a few weeks ago, the current plans are to accommodate by providing math puzzles and games to do after regular class work. I have a meeting scheduled tomorrow with his teacher and the new math specialist to discuss the assessment and the plan. I believe his teacher is an ally, though probably not publicly; she had planned on the small group too.

I like puzzles, DS likes puzzles, and puzzles are certainly the only way I would be able to get him to do the simple computations that the class is currently doing. While I don't know the results of the assessment, I've got a reasonable idea of what DS knows in math, so I don't expect to hear that he needs to learn anything much in 2nd. My preference would be for them to either have a small group where the kids are taught whatever topics in greater depth/complexity, or for them to subject accelerate DS7 in math. A computer-based course would also be fine, though not just computer games.

So, here's my talking points, when I get around to talking (I do plan on being quiet and listening initially):

- puzzles and games aren't a substitute for teaching

- giving additional work only penalizes DS (would be better to give more difficult work in lieu of regular)

- DS is coming to conclusion that school is not for learning

- by giving too easy work, DS is not being given the chance to learn important character traits ("What a child doesn't learn")


I think those are the most important things to get across. What say ye all? Am I missing something/off base here?

Perhaps relevant here - DS has recently refused to go to school, has repeatedly said that the best part of the school day is dismissal, and has said to me that at least he can learn things at home. Also, DH and I are in the process of lining up a comprehensive assessment outside the school, but won't happen yesterday.

I am in the same boat with DS6. I sent a note last week but haven't gotten a response. But in my note I asked if anything could be done like "extra work or more appropriate math books"

Now reading your response you are right extra work penalizes him.
I am just so confused.
It just kills me he is counting dots in school, in his "gifted" public school. It is horrible.

yep - it's confusing, tracyqns. Extra work could be OK in K - I know DS7 has asked for it in the past, or given it to himself if no one else would. He is starting to object to it now, but will happily do harder work in place of easier. So, I wouldn't worry about what you said but only about the lack of response. Maybe try a different method of contacting the teacher?

Well, I haven't had to deal with a school in this situation, but I think telling them that your child doesn't see school as a place for learning should concern them very much. If they skim over that....I don't even know what I'd say. They should care very much that he's not learning anything.

I think your list is fine, and enough cause for them to take more action if they really care about your ds's education.

I always presented this as DS's perception was that he wasn't learning...that way it come off as less of an attack. That if DS's perception was in error, we needed to figure out away to change that.

kcab,

I'm lucky enough to have a flexible work schedule, so I spent DS's 2nd grade year providing the math pull out group (1 hour a week) for DS and the other "highly capable" 2nd graders.

I'm doing it again this year, but I suspect that my history as a math parent helper put us in a good position this year when we asked that DS be allowed to do EPGY math on the computer during school hours while the rest of the class was doing their regular math.

So anyway, if you've got the time and flexibility to volunteer in your son's classroom and run a math group, that might give you some extra leverage over what kind of math your son does on the days of the week when you aren't in the class...

traceyqns
I think it is most appropriate for gifted to do work that is at to their level. This has not been perfected in any areas yet for my DS. A meeting is planned soon to work on this. I have to say my DS does not mind doing extra work sometimes, even if it's easy. I think it's easy to hear something is very important to gifted and get worried you not doing the right thing. With my DS, who is very self motivated, I think attitude and reactions to school is most important. Sometime dealing with something hard can make you appreciate it more when you make it better. Hang in there. I have to keep reminding myself of this too. Keep advocating and let your son know you understand his feelings. That can go a long way. I hope this is comforting.

That's one of the options, yes. Since posting this morning, I've found that another parent will also be at the meeting. She has taught in the district before, which should make this option easier. Both of us expected a pull-out for math, and the kids were assigned to this teacher with the same expectation.

I'll have to be careful to make it clear that it is DS's perception that I'm concerned about. His teacher is very good and engaging, she just has kids at all different levels in the classroom. Still, just today he was remarking after school that he thinks he might like to be class clown, instead of the child who is currently in that position (in DS's opinion...).

oh, kcab...I hope it goes well tomorrow. I'll be thinking of you! I think your points are important and accurate. I wish that were all you needed! Navigating schools feels like walking across a graveled mountainside...just when you think you've got your footing, there's an ominous trickle and whoosh! everything changes! I'm so sorry about his ambitions changing to class clown. Mine, I heard for the first time this fall "I like to be lazy in school." :-( I'm glad to hear you've got an assessment moving. It's funny...it was so hard for us to decide to do that, and lord knows we fought the whole acceleration idea, and now I fling those around mentally like they're somehow easy and obvious. They're totally not. But you guys are being great, moving to get him - and you guys - help with the school problems. (if you end up using the person we used, she did really take down the school beautifully in our one meeting. If we had major problems again, I'd bring her in...not that this is a major problem just now, with the pullout. though the things you're saying your son is saying sound so much like mine last year that it makes me feel sick in the pit of my stomach! PTSD or something. But if he's a clown sort, maybe he's resilient and adaptable, as my kiddo wasn't so much last year).

Yeah Kcab no response to me. However yesterday my DS6 came home saying the teacher said he can skip if the work is too easy and wants to see his previous work.
So he brought in his 3rd grade text book and workbook.
Of course he remembers he was at page 302 when he left his last school.
So we will see. I am thinking maybe she was being sarcastic like "yeah sure, lets see your 3rd grade work" LOL

I am so negative I don't really believe something good can happen. But fingers are crossed.