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    eek


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    I liked when the principal said that she expects my 5yo son (who just turned 5 a couple months ago) to let them know that he is not being challenged and tell them what he needs. The psychologist and I looked at eachother and then back at her and said "he is telling you that through his behavior" Now he would easily be able to verbally tell them or nonverbally write it (that is our new plan) but only if something would actually happen. Clearly all of the papers will indicate that work is too easy...but then what? Is he actually given harder work because they said they don't even know what to give him.

    About the boredom, I read an article recently that talked about how adults get bored but are able to deal with that boredom productively. They can take breaks, and they know it won't last forever and can do other things to deal with the boredom. Kids don't have all those resouces and time stands still. Which is why they have to do things to stimulate themselves and keep their mind going (which is often looked at as behavioral problems).

    And about finding more ways to deal with the boredom, DS asked in response to his 6 colored behavior system...what if I get worse than the last color, what happens then? Uhhh...let's not even go there.

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    Originally Posted by shellymos
    It's strange because at our first meeting before school she was great. She talked about meeting his individual needs and that children that are that high IQ have special needs and need special services. She even said that she was a gifted and talented advisor or something. She met with him and took him into a couple classes and felt that he should skip K and go to first. So...she kind of got it. I do think she is going to try things but she was quite defensive and no one was coming at her. It may because of the psychologist that I brought with me, but she was not confrontational at all. I don't know. I just hope they don't forget about DS5 and get caught up in policies. The few good things that were said included looking into mentors from the high school, looking into their use of the reading and math specialist and using the computer lab for him. She wrote down lots of suggestions and took brochures for materials. But I guess because of all the other comments and things it makes me anxious.

    ((shellymos))
    I hate those mixed messages and double talk - skives me right out. The trick is to partition the whole past relationship with any school folk who are giving you a hard time and focus-focus-focus on the needs of the child and possible solutions. It's an odd trick, but I know you'll get the hang of it. You may not get the accomidations you are looking for, but at least your entire mind won't go crazy. Just that little walled off part that you can vent about here for the next 20 years. Hopefully somethings will have changed by then.

    anyway - I am going to reccomend that you write an email that outlines what was said at the difficult meeting, show it to us, and then send it to the meeting participants. Something like: 'Thanks so much for meeting with me. You clearly care very deeply for my son's social and emotional health, which makes me so happy. Many things were discussed and I wanted to be sure that I fully understood the various problems that you are seeing and the possible solutions, etc.'

    Then you list all the key problems and possible solutions. This puts them on notice that you were at the meeting, that you were paying attention, that you are a team player, and that you expect SOMETHING good to happen.

    If this sounds degrading, it is, and I appologise, but I'm guessing that you would do a whole lot more degrading things, if you had to, for your child's benifit. I know I would. I find that reminding myself of those other things that I would do if I had to helps me be strong. Either they hold all the cards, or they don't- if they don't then play your cards, if they do then do your best.

    BTW - what did your advocate think of the meeting? Can she help debrief you?

    I think it's great that you can post here. Even though I was already in YSP after some of my bad meetings, I would be in so much pain after them that I was totally unable to talk or type about it for at least 3 weeks. Just Awful!

    Love and More Love,
    Grinity


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    Originally Posted by JJsMom
    DS5.5 starts 1st grade officially next week. Now just to figure out how to tell him exactly... while he was involved in the decision, he was not at our school/parent meeting this morning. They left it up to us to tell him.

    I might be more nervous about that conversation than I was waiting for this meeting!
    Does he want to go to 1st grade?

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    Originally Posted by shellymos
    Ugh. DS5's school meeting did not go very well today. There were several disconcerting statements such as "boredom is a choice." and "we are not required to meet the needs of a profoundly gifted child" and so on.
    Oh my goodness how frustrating!!! How do you choose to be bored?

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    Originally Posted by kcab
    Originally Posted by Kriston
    It also begs for a child to find ways to alleviate boredom. That may not go the way she thinks it will go...
    No kidding. I'm wondering how long it will be before DS7 figures out that he can have a short day if he gets sent home for being really, really bad.
    Oh it won't take long. My 4 year old was sent home quite a bit last year for having rough days. He loved being able to come home with me.

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    Originally Posted by shellymos
    I liked when the principal said that she expects my 5yo son (who just turned 5 a couple months ago) to let them know that he is not being challenged and tell them what he needs. The psychologist and I looked at eachother and then back at her and said "he is telling you that through his behavior" Now he would easily be able to verbally tell them or nonverbally write it (that is our new plan) but only if something would actually happen. Clearly all of the papers will indicate that work is too easy...but then what? Is he actually given harder work because they said they don't even know what to give him.

    About the boredom, I read an article recently that talked about how adults get bored but are able to deal with that boredom productively. They can take breaks, and they know it won't last forever and can do other things to deal with the boredom. Kids don't have all those resouces and time stands still. Which is why they have to do things to stimulate themselves and keep their mind going (which is often looked at as behavioral problems).

    And about finding more ways to deal with the boredom, DS asked in response to his 6 colored behavior system...what if I get worse than the last color, what happens then? Uhhh...let's not even go there.
    He's only 5. I just don't see any way for him to tell them what he needs or even that he's bored. They should look at his behavior and be able to tell.

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    Wow, shellymos, so sorry to hear that the meeting did not go well today. frown You are definitely getting mixed messages from that principal. It's like kcab said, the principal has probably never dealt with the reality of a PG child. My son's school is right there with you in terms of trying to figure out what to give him in math. It's so hard...

    JJsMom - good luck telling your son about 1st grade! I hope all goes well.

    Well, off to the bus stop.... I hope today was a good day....

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    Originally Posted by shellymos
    There were several disconcerting statements such as "boredom is a choice." and "we are not required to meet the needs of a profoundly gifted child" and so on.


    Boredom is only a choice if there are options. If you have to sit at a desk and focus on things that are very plainly BORING then it stops being a choice and becomes state sanctioned torture IMHO... That is part of the point of accommodations, to give the child something that gives them the option of NOT being bored.

    As for not being "required" to meet PG needs, true they aren't however you would think that educators would WANT to meet the needs of as many of their students as possible including those on the extreme ends of the spectrum. Isn't that what they spent those years in school for?

    Sorry feeling a bit snitty today...

    JJsMom, if he was involved in the decision hopefully he'll be thrilled that it worked out.

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    JJsmom and shellymos -

    Don't have tiem for a long reply, but I sincerely hope everything works out for your DC.

    As for our situation, I will save that for another post.

    - EW

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