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Sounds familiar! We HSed last year because of a very poor classroom fit. It's really all about the classroom teacher, I think. This year our DD 8 is settling in beautifully at a new school because the teacher has them all working on "dance mat typing" twice a week in computer class, and lets kids choose the format for some of their own work (oral, written, or visual). My daughter's worry that she would feel self-conscious about the typing practice time she needs at school vanished because her accommodation is available to everyone who prefers to type, and that's been a huge help.

On the gifted side...well...for now we're "after-schooling". A gifted IEP is supposed to be put together sometime soon, and at her school the librarian will do a gifted pull-out once a week, but no word yet on what that will look like.

For me, my biggest worry is that the "disability" (dysgraphia, social skills, ADHD) is the focus instead of the strengths. In school all they focused on was the worst subject/skill and until that caught up, he was unable to move on. At home I can teach him test-taking skills, how to avoid careless mistakes, take his time, etc, all while working on his choice of learning material. Hopefully one day the "disability" will no longer be an issue in the real world. I know so many adults who cannot spell, who cannot write legibly, or who cannot sit still and thus do a 9-5 job. It is only an issue when one is not allowed to use "grown-up" coping skills. I would not choose to work in a cubicle because I cannot sit still all day yet I love being on the go 24/7. I often think of my son's social skills this way too. He had a very intelligent conversation with a Geologist yday, but were that another 7yo it would have been labeled "social skills deficit". So I have had to rethink what I consider appropriate. Isn't it our goal to have them function as adults eventually?

We are struggling this year with my DD9. She is only enrolled for ELA to help with those discrepencies. It allows her to work to her potential in her other subjects. She still struggles with the writing and has an IEP to allow her to type, but the teacher isn't allowing it so far this year. She is really nice and is said to have a special needs child herself but I'm not sure how much she gets and if she realizes that my DD can read/comprehend at such a high level but struggle so much with writing. The school is pushing for more time "to work on socialization" but I hesitate. They already added an hour to her day four days a week this year for more ELA and want her to stay over on Fridays to work on social skills during lunch. I don't think it's wholely productive when there aren't any like peer for her to socialize with. She does very well with adults to and I ask myself the same question.