This post is a combination of my need to laugh and cry simultaneously. TIA for letting me get it all out.

Im a mother who has been deprived of sleep every single night (and pushed to the limit every day!) since DS was born nearly 3.5 years ago. DD joined the family 20 months ago and fit right in - hasn't slept a full night either since birth. Now add in chronic ear infections from 0-2yrs for DS (even tubes didn't stop the infections) + visits to the psych from around 2.5yrs for sleep/behaviour issues (namely night terrors & constant massive meltdowns during the day, possible ADHD &/or ASD). DD had an impressive episode of mastoiditis before she was 1, which resulted in radical emergency surgery to prevent brain infection + subsequent common ear infections (with tubes in place as well). Her first visit to the psych was at 15mos, at our doctors insistence to investigate her 'night terrors' (no daytime behavior problems with her, at least compared to DS). Both children have also had regular hearing tests for the obvious reason. That fun little list basically covers the "specialist" side of things, so now add in all other standard appointments you go to with your children for immunization/well-check etc - because we've been to all of those, too.

Up until recently, DH and I'd been taking all this in our stride. After all, most of what the children had gone through was normal-ish childhood type stuff and enough doctors/specialists had checked them over to allay any fears. They are both big kids (>97% for height and 75% for weight), very physically advanced and clearly bright. No cause for concern at all in theory and yet something has continued to make daily life (and a good night's sleep) a struggle for us all. Cut to this week, when nearing breaking-point I decided to take the kids to see a visiting Pediatrician...

Obstructive Sleep Apnea (OSA) was his clear-cut diagnosis. I'm somewhat sad to say that this didn't surprise me, as I had watched the children struggle to breathe night after sweaty, snoring, gasping, screaming night. What really made me want to laugh and cry simultaneously was the fact that I had stated these things probably 100 times to our assortment of doctors and specialists to no avail. Why were they not listening, you ask? The first ENT surgeon we saw when DS was 8 months old summed up the 'mental block' well, I think - "In all my years of experience, no child [that has endured such chronic hearing impairment since birth] has been that developmentally advanced." The Ped. we saw this week had a completely different take and one which makes the most sense, IMHO - "Your children's advanced development is somewhat remarkable considering the difficulties they've had to overcome. It would be my guess that they're both HG+ but perhaps 2E currently."

Anyway, the surgery for both DD and DS is being organized now and while it may not solve all the problems, it has given me hope that there's the possibility of a sound sleep and a less tumultuous day, just around the corner... fingers crossed!

Bless that visiting pediatrician! Best wishes that the surgery solves the bulk of the problems.

Oh I really hope that this helps. It's amazing what a good, attentive doctor can do!

Sadly, I don't think it's unusual for a child's giftedness to mask difficulties or physical ailments. Thank goodness for such a perceptive doctor, and kudos to you for trying yet again despite past experience. I sure hope the surgeries allow you all to get that much-needed rest!

Thanks for sharing your story and keep us updated about how things go after the surgery. Yay for the visiting doc!

Yes, bless that pediatrician and you folks for being here

I guess what has really hit home for DH and I is that (to this doc at least?) we aren't 'crazy' parents. He's the first professional to even mention the word gifted as having any bearing on the situation (the psych who did DS IQ testing simply said DS will be 'quicker and have better understanding' than other kids when he goes to school). Not once has it even been suggested that they might be compensating to appear at least within a ND range (as opposed to delayed, which I imagine would have been picked up).

When we went to the appointment the Ped. told DD20mos he needed to listen to her heart, to which she said "Of course you do - you have a stethoscope in your hand!" and then DS3 added "You might want to get out your otoscope after that...she has a lot of trouble with her ears." The Ped. just smiled, and thanked the kids for their help

Truly hoping for the children's sake that more surgery will actually help. I'll let you know how it plays out.

I know that just having someone, anyone, believe that you aren't the crazy one is a HUGE relief off of your shoulders. Best of luck to you and your DC! Keep us informed!

And for the record I feel your pain on the sleeping issue!!! Though not quite as "bad" as your DC, DS5.5 had bad ear infections (tubes did work for him) and RARELY has a full night of uninterrupted sleep.

Wow!! Very best of luck with the surgeries - I do hope it helps
Your latest dr. sounds very perceptive!

Oh TJ, I'm so sorry the insight has been so long in coming! I wish everyone the best through the surgeries. I really hope the difference is like day and night, and that the whole family is better off for it.

-M

TMJ,
What an adventure parenting has turned out to be!
How are things going?

So glad you finally got a diagnosis. Read, "How Doctors Think" when you get a chance.
Love and More Love,
Grinity