Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy preschool vs kindergarten choice for a 4 yr old

I called Univ of Iowa and found out it would cost anywhere between $700 and $1000 to get my kid tested. WOW! I had no idea it would be so expensive. My understanding is that at age 4, the results are not even very reliable, and I really have no idea whether DS3 would be mature enough to cooperate. I wouldn't be surprised at all if he decided to quit 10 minutes into the testing.

Did you all pay that much to get private testing? If you got tested through a public school, what's the process and does it cost anything? Does your child need to be enrolled in that school to get tested there? If I go through Northwestern CTD, it would cost me only about $100, but they do only Ravens Colored Progressive Matrices, Peabody Individual Achievement Test-Revised, and Goodenough Draw A Person Test. Do you know if these tests might be enough for the purpose of early entrance to a K program?

JR

Hi Junior,
My DD7 took the WPPSI when she was three. She took WISC IV at 7 and scored 28 points higher. From all I've read, I would not spend that kind of money to test before age 5. If you are willing to travel to Northwestern, I know of a PsD. in the area who tests for less expensive than that. Did you try checking with insurance? My insurance company paid for DD7's testing.
BTW, Northwestern CTD accepted both of my girls private testing for acceptance. We haven't gone to the programs yet, the girls have another program going on Sat. but may try it out in the fall.

hope this is helpful,
Incog

Junior: We paid $500 to have the WPPSI and the WIAT administered by Elizabeth Mika -- she's in Gurnee. I'm starting to realize what a bargain that was!

Hi Junior,

four is very young for a child to have to attend school, specially if he doesn't enjoy it. My own daughter didn't start school until she was six (refused to attend K). There is nothing he would gain from a stressful experience at that age except for a great dislike of school.

You say he is already at 2nd grade in reading / math, so clearly his academic needs are being met. You could always find some classes (art, music, Karate) where he can interact with other kids his age in an environment he likes.

Just my thoughts.

Hi Junior,
this is a sticky one, isn't it? You didn't mention how long a day or how frequently these situations meet.
I like the idea of teaching your child to try new things and get along with agemates, but that's a long term goal, not a quick fix type of thing. Invite DS to chaperone a 2 hour playdate with DS and 2 ND agemates. My hunch is that he will come to see that the best way to reach a goal, is to break it down into small steps, and allow the child to be successful in step after step.

Even though I agree that this is one good goal, there are other goal, which, in my opinion, are more important at age 4. The first goal is to spend time doing healthy activities that one enjoys. For your son this will mean learning at his readiness level. Another is to spend time with people you enjoy. For your son this may mean adults, teens, or some of the brightest kids in the kindy class. Sure, most kindy kids won't be a better match, but a few will be. Luck certainly plays a role here.

My son is extroverted and inflexible, and we had him in daycare out of nescessity. I didn't even know he was "different" or to ask for placement with the older kids. My son did develop behavior problems in 1st and 2nd grade at school, and K at the daycare. We didn't have a clue what what going on. It took years to sort out. Even after we had the IQ scores, none of us locally understood in any deep way how that might affect the situation.

Flash forward to age 11. DS is still extroverted and fairly inflexible. He is very sweet and sunny when things are going his way, and he feels respected. It's taken a long, long time to unweave the damage that occured without anyone intending it. But, breaking the various goals up into small, winable steps has been the only way to do it.

Inflexible, introverted kids remind me of the joke about "how do porcupines mate?"
"Very carefully."

I would encourage you to identify all of you and your husband's goals, and break them up into small, winable steps to get there "very carefully."

Also take a look, in your journal, or with a friend, at who in you and your DH's family was "like that" and what happened to them, and what jealousies or judgements were aroused in you or others at the time.

Bottom line - learning to enjoy other agemates by throwing him in preschool makes about as much sence as teaching him to swim by throwing him in the water. It works well for many, but many pay a high price, eh? You may get to that point at some point, but your aren't there yet.

Also remember that in the U.S. introversion isn't the prefered way. Yet your son didn't choose his temperment, it came with the package. If you and DH can stand behind your child and appreciate him for who he is, I think you will be glad you did.

HTH,
Trinity