Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy Trinity's Amazing News

Some of you have been here for a long time, and know how hard I've worked to try to find an appropriate placement for DS10. Sometime in mid-August I reached a place where I couldn't bear to send DS10 back to public school. We found an academically challenging private school and he started there in September. Immediatly I felt that he seemed happier and more contented. For the first few weeks, he reported that the work was "not too hard and not too easy." And he was making lots of friends. Then 10 days ago the complaining about lack of challenge, which had been comming in dribs and draps, and I'd been emailing with the classroom teacher and lower school head, reached a loud roar. I contacted the school, requested a grade skip evaluation. Ten days later, after only one parent meeting and some interviewing/testing of DS10, I got the news on Friday that the school is offering a full grade skip to 6th grade, which is Middle School, with subject acceleration in Math to the accelerated 7th grade group which is doing Pre-Algebra, an 8th grade topic. I think that's 3 Math Grades over one long weekend - LOL! We accepted with pleasure and some nervousness all around. I will keep you posted. But I'll say this much for the record - I like the speed with which this school responded! I like the validation.

Interestingly. 10 days ago when DS10 was complaining, DH and I asked him if he wanted a grade skip, and he said yes, but in a subdued and sad way. By the time he was being interviewed and tested, he was whooping with delight - and he's thought to be a reserved kid. So I now think that he didn't show enthusiasm at first because he didn't think it could actually happen.

So send me virtual flower bouquets! IRL I won't be able to brag or crow at all. I need them from you!
Love and More Love,
Trinity

WOW! That is amazing news! I am so happy for you, Trinity, and for your son. I was thinking of you this weekend, wondering how that meeting went... in fact, I just posted and asked you about it on another thread.

Thanks for sharing your good news with us!

((smiling))
thanks

It's so great to hear such an encouraging story! Thanks for sharing it with us. I'm glad your son is so eager to take all the challenges. He'll do wonderful with that attitude. Congrats to your family,

It's so great to hear such an encouraging story! Thanks for sharing it with us. I'm glad your son is so eager to take all the challenges. He'll do wonderful with that attitude. Congrats to your family,

Congrats Trinity! That is wonderful. Hope it works well......

Mary

Wow congratulations, Trinity!!! GREAT news!

I know how you feel although mine is just baby steps so far. My 1st grader got pulled into 2nd grade reading starting today, his teacher already did some tests with him and calls him a "walking dictionary", says his spelling is unbelievable and that he's got above 5th grade reading capabilities. They'll move him up gradually she says, and this week started with 2nd grade reading. I already got a follow up call from my county's Highly Gifted Program, and they've got him scheduled for a full screen this Dec-Jan.

This school year's looking great...

Thanks Sugar -
I'm so pleased for you and you're son.
Trin

That's fantastic!!

Great news Trinity! Best wishes for your son! Please keep us posted on the trials and triumphs of his acceleration.

We just received good news this week also. Our DS10 (5th grade) will be subject accelerated in Math (6th grade). This is a very unusual accommodation for our school. We are grateful to the assistant principle and 6th grade teacher for making this exception.

His schedule will be strange. He will leave his class, go next door for Math, eat lunch by himself, miss recess, and then join the other fifth grade class for English. He has had few peer acceptance issues this year at school for a change, but this accommodation will probably be another social liability. He understands, but wants to do it anyway.

Oh Delbows,
I'm so happy that your son has what he wants!
Sorry that he has to "do the chicken dance" with his schedual - I hope the acceleration is enough to make it worth while.

((Speculating.....if the 7th grade math fits into his schedual without him having to give up so much social time.....whould they consider a double bump?))

I wouldn�t even ask, not yet, for several reasons.

One, this is already a novel idea for this school and I have the feeling that his current 5th grade teacher will not be happy about it (she hadn�t been told yet as of Friday). He asked her early on in the school year if he could do all the problems in the set rather than just odds or evens. She replied,� That wouldn�t be fair to the other kids�.
This response exemplifies the attitude of some teachers at this school and also many nosy-nose moms. Refer to Wilma Gayle�s �vultures� topic.

Second, the 6th grade teachers at this school are really excellent! I want him to have the benefit of their instruction.

Lastly, but importantly, his 12-year-old (moderately gifted) sister is in the 7th grade pre-algebra class. I don�t know how his moving in might impact their relationship.

As I stated above, this is a big exception for the school. Thinking long range, we may have to get creative for 7th and 8th grade, but for now, I�m grateful for this opportunity.

Trinity,

How is your son doing socially? Do you have difficulty regarding the attitudes of some parents when you explain his circumstances? I have found that some moms get very �ruffled� if another child is perceived as more intellectually advanced than their own child. Interestingly, if we were talking about sports, it wouldn�t be a problem.

Delbows,
Those sound like Excellent Reasons! I just don't want you to be so grateful for this opportunity that you get blindsided in case it fails due to "not challenging enough". The Vultures will think the opposite, so I had to put in my two cents. At our particular school when I asked for the Grade Skip, the administration came back with the offer of the Skip WITH the Math SSA because they felt that the curricula at their school had 6th Grade Math mostly spiraling the 5th Grade Math with little new material. I have never had that particular experience - where I got MorE "uppage" than I asked for!

I find i very interesting the Iowa Acceleration Scale makes "such" a big deal out of the sib issue - when I've never heard it be a problem IRL or in other posts - but they are basing their numbers on statistics, so I would tread cautionsly. I've got a singleton, so no experience there. - well, the only experience is to listen over and over and over on the Davidson lists where the parents get so surprised when other siblings are finally tested and turn out to be suprisingly similar, or higher than the "identified" sibling. So, I'm assuming you've actually had her tested, and are making reasonable efforts to support her individual needs as well. Logically it seems that if her needs are being met, she'll be able to roll with any future changes.

And "Ouch" that 5th grade teach seems a bit much. Good luck with that. She may force your hand, and that my turn out for the best - but do give her some time to arrange herself.

I don't know how or why, but the new school has been wonderful socially for the whole family. The parents I've talked to are always, "I'm so glad to hear that the school is doing this for your son." I do use sport terminology as often as possible - DS10 got "called up" to Pre-Algebra, etc. a midseason reassignment...LOL

I think that perhaps since this particular private school caters to a pro-active crowd of parents, that they understand what we've been through trying to find a good fit for our son. There is also the selfish, but I think reasonable hope, amoung the parents, that DS10's love of learning will "rub off" on the other students.

DS10 reports that there is one boy in his recieving class who was offered a grade skip but turned it down, but is now reconsidering at least going up for Math with DS10. So I would consider DS10 as providing valuable leadership at least in this instance.

Back at the public school, in 4th grade, DS10 was allowed to start a musical instrument, Trombone, in order to start building social relationships and "chicken dance" skills. They had no Trombone players in that 5th grade class. At the end of the year concert that the 5th grade plays for the 4th grade to encourage them to get involved with band, DS10 finally "came out" to his 4th grade friends as to what he had been doing during all that "chicken dancing." DS10 was thrilled with all the support he got from his agemates - one of the "popular kids" who normally wouldn't even make eye contact with DS10, gave him a thumbs up. This year 7 boys chose the Trombone, 6 are friends of DS10s. We were reflecting on that last night, and concluded that popular and influential are two different things, and that although DS10 was quite aware that at his public school he was never going to be included in the popular crowd, he did have a role as "influential." Believe me he'd rather be popular, but he is proud and pleased that there is room for a kid to "be themselves" and be a leader. So you can see that DS10 was well prepared for his skip by challenges and opportunites he had faced before. He liked his friends at public, he liked the new 5th graders, and he likes the new 6th graders. It's all pretty new right now and only time will tell how it turns out - but that seems to be the common condition here on Earth. ((wink))

Long winded way of saying - yes, he's happy, I'm thrilled.

Love and More Love,
Trinity

Trinity,
Our daughter who turned 12 this month is optimally challenged in 7th grade. She earns an A average, but not without effort. I also think she drew a line in the sand this weekend when we told her that her brother would start 6th grade math. She thinks that is great, but I got the feeling that he would not be welcomed by her if he showed up on the junior high scene yet.

I�ve attended a few local seminars regarding gifted issues including sibling relationships. Girls can be tricky and go �underground� around the junior high years. Also, if one child in the family is considered the �smart one�, the other sibling/s may look for their own different niche such as comedian, athlete or �gasp-�mall girl�. I have to look out for both children.

Our DS10 (just turned also) earns excellent grades as well, although he doesn�t have to work at it much. He reads constantly, swims, plays basketball, trumpet, and piano, participates in speech team and acts in plays and is also involved with a charitable organization. I think these other activities satiate his internal drive pretty well right now.

As I stated above, I do think we will have to get creative in 7th and 8th grade for math and science. Not that we are currently offered anything different, but I�m starting to think that I want to keep him at current grade level with some differentiated accommodation through 8th grade. The reason is that there is a particular high school that he would like to attend that only considers the top 2-5% of candidates as determined by an entrance exam.

He is highly gifted, but he�s not at the tippy- top echelon. I don�t know that he would be competitive with gifted kids who are much older.

As far as his current 5th grade teacher, I don�t think she has any ill intent. She is just more interested in managing the herd than any one �kid�. She offers a great Social Studies/ History curriculum. I really did laugh out loud when I read your suggestion for bringing baked goods. I�ve heard that before regarding how to impress and influence teachers in regard to meeting the special needs of gifted students!

I�m glad your family and son have been so well accommodated and accepted at the new school. It sounds like a wonderful environment for an advanced student!

v/r
Diana

Right! Getting DD12's needs met may have nothing to do with more academics. What makes her tick? Sing? Glow?

The high school sounds very wonderful. Makes sense to me!

I love hearing about your family, Diana.
Trinity

Our daughter swims, plays flute, piano, acts in plays, speech club, volunteers as a peer tutor and will soon begin work on her silver award in Girl Scouts. She has never had socialization issues and is well likes by peers and teachers (although not popular, which she and I are both happy about).

gosh! there's a county with a highly gifted program!!!!! I'm amazed!

Trinity, how did your DS10 get to that level in math while being stuck in public school lower level stuff?

Everyone, DS15 decided years ago he didn't want to be popular, just well liked and respected. I wish I had known the difference when I was a kid. Its cool to see such wisdom in the families on this forum.

so have I coined a new term for "the vultures" chuckle.

Willagayle, I didn't know you had a 15 year old also.

Dottie, you really do have an interesting family dynamic!

It's great to have this forum of "experts" to discuss the issues that are taboo in polite society!

chuckle about coining vultures.

delbows...ds15 is actually 14 until the 6th of Nov, but I'm rounding up. yup. I've two sons ages 8 and 15. both are gifted. ds15 was a handful when he was young.... here's some funny stories

when ds15 was 3 we went to Washington D.C. This was before 9/11 (obviously) so security was a lot more lax then. Well while waiting to take the tour of the White House, DS15 darted under a chain link rope fence and across the White House lawn. Several secret service agents and a handful of cops took out after him. The more they chased the further he ran. They wouldn't let me go after him. He disappeared around the corner of the White House. Finally here came a secret service agent with DS15 kicking in screaming in his arms. SHEESH!!!

Then a few months before that we were at a mall having a snack when a man with dwarfism and dress in cowboy dress (this was Colorado--lots of cowboys around) came walking by. DS15 watched him carefully then before I could blink, he shouted "There's a BABY man, Momma!!! It's a COWBOY BABY man!!! Hi! BABY Man! Hi! COWBOY BABY MAN!!!"

Thank goodness the guy was kind.

He was a very active kid. Mite is much more gentle and quiet. I think that is why I never really knew he was soooo gifted and sooooo LD. DS15 made sure I knew what he was thinking. I have to guess at Mite sometimes.

DS15 is very mellow now, but still very extroverted.

They both have incredible wits!! They keep me giggling.

Thanks for letting me share. It is such a relief.

Hi Diana,
Sounds like DD is in excellent shape to take on the stress of having a "famous" brother, when and if further acceleration brings him into her sphere. She sounds like a terrific kid, well able to withstand the flack of being "lapped" by her younger brother. I think that fact that she is well liked but contentedly "not popular" is a good indicator that she is comfortable in her skin.

I'm the oldest in a family of 4, the last two being twin boys. I have a tiny taste of being famous by proxy. My middle brother got much more than a taste, being only 2.5 years older - he was sometimes refered to as: "the twins' brother!" Ohh he hated that! I propose that having a different level of gifted sibling is much like having twins in your family - it just happens sometimes: Parent behavior can minimize the effect or play it up to a degree, but in the long run it's just part of what life hands us.

((warm smile))
Trinity

Willa Gayle -
DS10's math jump was pretty amazing in my book. Last year he was taking 4th grade math, doing a Alek.com very occasionally - "one month in October and a week in April" and getting a chance to hang out with the top 5th graders in an optional Math Club that met during Recess once a week during the months of March and April.

The private school gave him an Algebra Readyness test ((sorry I don't remember the name)) and he had done really well a talent search above level test in 3rd grade (1.5 Standard Deviations above the average of gifted 3rd graders taking the test) They compared DS10's scores to other kids who were being tested for Algebra Readiness at their school and was found to be ready for Algebra, so they played it safe and started him on Pre-Algebra. One can observe that he is being challenged in the Pre-Alebra, at least for now.

I keep telling any Adult connected with the school system - it's not that he knows all the 5th and 6th grade material - it's that he's ready to learn Pre-Algebra. Schools seem to believe that children become developmentally ready to learn certian things, like critical thinking, at certian developmental levels which occur at certian ages. This may well be true up to the point that every child reaches the same developmental stage at the same age - that, we know, is just not true.

I remember learning about Piget's stages in my early 20's - by that crietera I was very advanced. I'm still not sure I believe it, but it sure did help me explain a lot about my high school years.

Who knows?

To me, if you can't touch a developmental phase, can't test for it what good is it? If it's true for 70% of people who have normal development - that's terrific, but also dangerous for the rest of us, no?

Trinty

yes. people don't seem to understand that Piaget was the "beginning" of the science of cognition and development, not the "end". Things have come very far since then.

Besides, with "asynchronous development" the kid may very well be "too young" for some aspects of learning and "very advanced" in others.

I'm appalled that teachers and administrators are soooooooo far behind on gifted research.

At Mite's school, NONE had heard of the term "twice exceptional". The first person from the school district to mention it to me was the director of education for the whole district.

So, it is not a wonder that they don't understand asynchrony OR anything else for that matter.

Piaget's phases are sorta passe now. There are neo-Piagetians that have developed the theory even further, but really with all the new information coming in about neurological differences in learning, it's all going to be a moot point.

what is alek.com? I just tried to go to it, but nothing came up.

aleks.com

Ania

Trinity,
How does your DS10 like 6th grade so far? YOu mentioned that pre-algebra seems like a good fit right now. Are the other subjects challenging him also?
Sorry if I'm being too nosy. YOur son seeems alot like mine, so I'm especially intrigued.

Delbows,

DS10 seems to be getting along well with the 6th graders, although a bit to eager to please the boys with little bits of outrageousness - which has attracted some adult notice, I wouldn't say Vulturing, maybe a mild circling.

the first Math test since the switch is due, and I'm excited to be validated - not that thats what Parenting is SupposeD to be about, but well....you know!

He's studing Ancient Civ for history/writing and seems very into it. I've been listening to a CD leacture series on Ancient Egypt ((a coinsidence, honest, I started before he even got the grade skip)) and what amazed me is that he can hear the names and associate them with what he saw in his text book.

It's so beyond what I can do in that one area. He was evesdropping on a lecture about medicine, which mentioned Queen/King 'Hatchabat' (detail blurry) and her temple and 'Old Dear Maury' (detail blurry, again)and DS 10 pipes up - "Her temple had three stories." I think, "((mental shrug.)"

Later that night while doing his homework he said, "Mom, come look, I think you'll enjoy seeing this." Sure enough, there was a picture of said temple - with it's three levels! How he was able to read the name on the caption and correlate it with what he heard on the CD amazes me.

Oh - and he's loving Science. They are studing microbiology, which is a more memorization of strange names with an idea or two linking them. The text book seems excellent, with much better pictures than I remember getting.

So - he's pleased, I'm pleased, and, as advertised, he is much easier to live with.

Trinity

It's fun seeing what he can do when he's allowed to "flow".

...oooooo...another term for gifted stuff....flow is when the gifted mind just latches on to an idea or thought and sucks it in, devours the topic, LEARNS!!!! That's actually used in some literature somewhere.

Anyhow, when the mind is stimulated properly FLOW happens. TDS10 seems to be in flow!!

Flow - yeah - see "Chrismansky" not spelled correctly, and mispronounced - can anyone help?

Oh yeah!

I don�t have a reference, but I have a slightly different understanding of �flow�. I always understood it to mean what I often call optimal challenge. Essentially meaning difficult enough that some thought and effort must be applied in order to achieve success, but not so difficult as to cause frustration and a defeatist attitude.

Trinity,
I'm trilled to hear about how well your son is doing. It really does sound like an excellent school!

Good Business: Leadership, Flow, and the Making of Meaning (Paperback)
by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi

This work is amazing, lots of stuf about teens also.

Mind you, I'm getting reports about homework not turned in...but they are on. Keep praying.

what exactly is meant by twice exceptional- I have heard a few definition but they could be interpreted many ways. Also does asynchronous development fall into that category?

Hi Karen,
Here's the link to hogiesgifted's compilation. I use AD as an equavalent for gifted, 2E as Gifted with one or more other issues that do not spring directly from AD or poor educational fit.

http://www.hoagiesgifted.org/twice_exceptional.htm

Smiles -
Trinity

my understanding of 2E, in a nutshell, is gifted with one or more LDs. Mite, actually, would be something like E to the 15th;^!!!

i agree with Trin that AD is the definition of giftedness.