Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy Trinity's Amazing News

We just received good news this week also. Our DS10 (5th grade) will be subject accelerated in Math (6th grade). This is a very unusual accommodation for our school. We are grateful to the assistant principle and 6th grade teacher for making this exception.

His schedule will be strange. He will leave his class, go next door for Math, eat lunch by himself, miss recess, and then join the other fifth grade class for English. He has had few peer acceptance issues this year at school for a change, but this accommodation will probably be another social liability. He understands, but wants to do it anyway.

Oh Delbows,
I'm so happy that your son has what he wants!
Sorry that he has to "do the chicken dance" with his schedual - I hope the acceleration is enough to make it worth while.

((Speculating.....if the 7th grade math fits into his schedual without him having to give up so much social time.....whould they consider a double bump?))

I wouldn�t even ask, not yet, for several reasons.

One, this is already a novel idea for this school and I have the feeling that his current 5th grade teacher will not be happy about it (she hadn�t been told yet as of Friday). He asked her early on in the school year if he could do all the problems in the set rather than just odds or evens. She replied,� That wouldn�t be fair to the other kids�.
This response exemplifies the attitude of some teachers at this school and also many nosy-nose moms. Refer to Wilma Gayle�s �vultures� topic.

Second, the 6th grade teachers at this school are really excellent! I want him to have the benefit of their instruction.

Lastly, but importantly, his 12-year-old (moderately gifted) sister is in the 7th grade pre-algebra class. I don�t know how his moving in might impact their relationship.

As I stated above, this is a big exception for the school. Thinking long range, we may have to get creative for 7th and 8th grade, but for now, I�m grateful for this opportunity.

Trinity,

How is your son doing socially? Do you have difficulty regarding the attitudes of some parents when you explain his circumstances? I have found that some moms get very �ruffled� if another child is perceived as more intellectually advanced than their own child. Interestingly, if we were talking about sports, it wouldn�t be a problem.

Delbows,
Those sound like Excellent Reasons! I just don't want you to be so grateful for this opportunity that you get blindsided in case it fails due to "not challenging enough". The Vultures will think the opposite, so I had to put in my two cents. At our particular school when I asked for the Grade Skip, the administration came back with the offer of the Skip WITH the Math SSA because they felt that the curricula at their school had 6th Grade Math mostly spiraling the 5th Grade Math with little new material. I have never had that particular experience - where I got MorE "uppage" than I asked for!

I find i very interesting the Iowa Acceleration Scale makes "such" a big deal out of the sib issue - when I've never heard it be a problem IRL or in other posts - but they are basing their numbers on statistics, so I would tread cautionsly. I've got a singleton, so no experience there. - well, the only experience is to listen over and over and over on the Davidson lists where the parents get so surprised when other siblings are finally tested and turn out to be suprisingly similar, or higher than the "identified" sibling. So, I'm assuming you've actually had her tested, and are making reasonable efforts to support her individual needs as well. Logically it seems that if her needs are being met, she'll be able to roll with any future changes.

And "Ouch" that 5th grade teach seems a bit much. Good luck with that. She may force your hand, and that my turn out for the best - but do give her some time to arrange herself.

I don't know how or why, but the new school has been wonderful socially for the whole family. The parents I've talked to are always, "I'm so glad to hear that the school is doing this for your son." I do use sport terminology as often as possible - DS10 got "called up" to Pre-Algebra, etc. a midseason reassignment...LOL

I think that perhaps since this particular private school caters to a pro-active crowd of parents, that they understand what we've been through trying to find a good fit for our son. There is also the selfish, but I think reasonable hope, amoung the parents, that DS10's love of learning will "rub off" on the other students.

DS10 reports that there is one boy in his recieving class who was offered a grade skip but turned it down, but is now reconsidering at least going up for Math with DS10. So I would consider DS10 as providing valuable leadership at least in this instance.

Back at the public school, in 4th grade, DS10 was allowed to start a musical instrument, Trombone, in order to start building social relationships and "chicken dance" skills. They had no Trombone players in that 5th grade class. At the end of the year concert that the 5th grade plays for the 4th grade to encourage them to get involved with band, DS10 finally "came out" to his 4th grade friends as to what he had been doing during all that "chicken dancing." DS10 was thrilled with all the support he got from his agemates - one of the "popular kids" who normally wouldn't even make eye contact with DS10, gave him a thumbs up. This year 7 boys chose the Trombone, 6 are friends of DS10s. We were reflecting on that last night, and concluded that popular and influential are two different things, and that although DS10 was quite aware that at his public school he was never going to be included in the popular crowd, he did have a role as "influential." Believe me he'd rather be popular, but he is proud and pleased that there is room for a kid to "be themselves" and be a leader. So you can see that DS10 was well prepared for his skip by challenges and opportunites he had faced before. He liked his friends at public, he liked the new 5th graders, and he likes the new 6th graders. It's all pretty new right now and only time will tell how it turns out - but that seems to be the common condition here on Earth. ((wink))

Long winded way of saying - yes, he's happy, I'm thrilled.

Love and More Love,
Trinity

Trinity,
Our daughter who turned 12 this month is optimally challenged in 7th grade. She earns an A average, but not without effort. I also think she drew a line in the sand this weekend when we told her that her brother would start 6th grade math. She thinks that is great, but I got the feeling that he would not be welcomed by her if he showed up on the junior high scene yet.

I�ve attended a few local seminars regarding gifted issues including sibling relationships. Girls can be tricky and go �underground� around the junior high years. Also, if one child in the family is considered the �smart one�, the other sibling/s may look for their own different niche such as comedian, athlete or �gasp-�mall girl�. I have to look out for both children.

Our DS10 (just turned also) earns excellent grades as well, although he doesn�t have to work at it much. He reads constantly, swims, plays basketball, trumpet, and piano, participates in speech team and acts in plays and is also involved with a charitable organization. I think these other activities satiate his internal drive pretty well right now.

As I stated above, I do think we will have to get creative in 7th and 8th grade for math and science. Not that we are currently offered anything different, but I�m starting to think that I want to keep him at current grade level with some differentiated accommodation through 8th grade. The reason is that there is a particular high school that he would like to attend that only considers the top 2-5% of candidates as determined by an entrance exam.

He is highly gifted, but he�s not at the tippy- top echelon. I don�t know that he would be competitive with gifted kids who are much older.

As far as his current 5th grade teacher, I don�t think she has any ill intent. She is just more interested in managing the herd than any one �kid�. She offers a great Social Studies/ History curriculum. I really did laugh out loud when I read your suggestion for bringing baked goods. I�ve heard that before regarding how to impress and influence teachers in regard to meeting the special needs of gifted students!

I�m glad your family and son have been so well accommodated and accepted at the new school. It sounds like a wonderful environment for an advanced student!

v/r
Diana

Right! Getting DD12's needs met may have nothing to do with more academics. What makes her tick? Sing? Glow?

The high school sounds very wonderful. Makes sense to me!

I love hearing about your family, Diana.
Trinity

Our daughter swims, plays flute, piano, acts in plays, speech club, volunteers as a peer tutor and will soon begin work on her silver award in Girl Scouts. She has never had socialization issues and is well likes by peers and teachers (although not popular, which she and I are both happy about).

gosh! there's a county with a highly gifted program!!!!! I'm amazed!

Trinity, how did your DS10 get to that level in math while being stuck in public school lower level stuff?

Everyone, DS15 decided years ago he didn't want to be popular, just well liked and respected. I wish I had known the difference when I was a kid. Its cool to see such wisdom in the families on this forum.

so have I coined a new term for "the vultures" chuckle.

Willagayle, I didn't know you had a 15 year old also.

Dottie, you really do have an interesting family dynamic!

It's great to have this forum of "experts" to discuss the issues that are taboo in polite society!

chuckle about coining vultures.

delbows...ds15 is actually 14 until the 6th of Nov, but I'm rounding up. yup. I've two sons ages 8 and 15. both are gifted. ds15 was a handful when he was young.... here's some funny stories

when ds15 was 3 we went to Washington D.C. This was before 9/11 (obviously) so security was a lot more lax then. Well while waiting to take the tour of the White House, DS15 darted under a chain link rope fence and across the White House lawn. Several secret service agents and a handful of cops took out after him. The more they chased the further he ran. They wouldn't let me go after him. He disappeared around the corner of the White House. Finally here came a secret service agent with DS15 kicking in screaming in his arms. SHEESH!!!

Then a few months before that we were at a mall having a snack when a man with dwarfism and dress in cowboy dress (this was Colorado--lots of cowboys around) came walking by. DS15 watched him carefully then before I could blink, he shouted "There's a BABY man, Momma!!! It's a COWBOY BABY man!!! Hi! BABY Man! Hi! COWBOY BABY MAN!!!"

Thank goodness the guy was kind.

He was a very active kid. Mite is much more gentle and quiet. I think that is why I never really knew he was soooo gifted and sooooo LD. DS15 made sure I knew what he was thinking. I have to guess at Mite sometimes.

DS15 is very mellow now, but still very extroverted.

They both have incredible wits!! They keep me giggling.

Thanks for letting me share. It is such a relief.