CAMom - thank you so much for your perspective! We have no charter schools where I live. I hear the bureaucracy for starting one is huge. BUt one teacher has navigated the waters and one is supposed to be opening next year. It's only K-2 for now. It'll be interesting to see how it goes. I may try to teach some science courses there if the school survives.

As for some perception of negativity on the board lately, it seems to me that the beginning of the school year last year brought on more fear and worry and trouble for many people on the forum. The new year can make for an uptick in the number of negative experiences until solutions have time to get sorted out.

Positive stories are always welcome, but I hope we can also encourage people with frustrations--whether personal or systemic--to share them. It's hard to solve problems we can't discuss.

Just my perspective...

I plead guilty to adding to the recent negativity, but for me, this is my only safe place to vent. And it is mostly just venting--I'm (mostly) sure that when I put my diplomacy hat on and seriously begin my conversations with DD's teacher and the school, I'll start to see positive movement. And I promise to post about it.

I just had to add that i am sorry that my posting came across as teacher bashing - I was a teacher in the public schools for almost 15 years before I left the profession. My last year of teaching K was one I will always remember - I had 28 kids in my classroom with no aide....2 asperger's children, 1 deaf child who had a sign language interp. and I had to wear a special microphone for him and 12 children with IEP's. I worked in a migrant farm area so many, many of the families did not speak English. I split myself into so many pieces trying to meet the needs of all my kids. I have seen so many different sides of things and one of the reasons why I left was because I was starting to see so many teachers (myself included) being told that we couldn't be creative in our teaching methods and that we needed to focus on improving test scores -the system is broken in my opinion and many things need to change.

DazedandConfused - many of your comments voice exactly what I am wanting to say. I am sorry that I am one of the negative voices on the board lately- this starting of the school year was really, really rough and probably one of the hardest things i have ever had to deal with to date with DS...you have no idea how much it helped just being able to "spill" all of my worries and frustration so that it wasn't put out on the table at home. For the future I will try to find a new venting spot because I would not want to drive someone away from the board because of all the negativity.

Oh my...heavens. That year must have been a nightmare. So sorry.

I agree with Kriston that airing frustrations is appropriate on this board. We all need to a place vent or to make valid criticisms. In fact, there have been times when this board has shown me that I'm not the only person facing a certain problem. I'm uncomfortable with like the idea of people feeling obliged to sound positive when things around them are dysfunctional.

Problems don't get solved unless they get aired. Let's face it: large-scale changes often start with a small group of troublemakers. As an example, the British crown presumably considered our founding fathers to be nothing but a bunch of negative troublemakers. Ditto for at least some captains of industry when people began to advocate for limits on child labor. And the voting rights movements. And the civil rights movement...and and and.

Just my 2c.

Val




Val

On the other hand, people should feel confortable sharing success stories. My dd is (and has always been) in an almost perfect school situation. I almost feel guilty that we have never had to struggle and that her needs are for the most part met by her school.

Personally, I hope that people will continue to share their stories--both positive and the negative. The reality is that there are both positive and negative environments and teachers.

Mostly I think that the sharing of stories helps us to gain perspective about our own situations. Sometimes I read what someone has written and I think, "OK, I'm not crazy. It really IS reasonable to expect 'x'." I need that anecdotal evidence (that it could better) in order to keep going back and advocating for my children.

Other times I read something and I think, "Wow. That situation ______ wrote about is appalling. I guess I should at least appreciate "x" in my own situation".

There are a lot of stories that have been shared here that truly ARE appalling. Those need to be part of the ongoing conversation about what works and what doesn't work. Yes, teachers are stretched (and I speak from first hand experience), but there is no excuse for ridiculous decisions like refusing to allow a child to read books at their reading level (excepting those with content too mature for an elementary classroom), or for making a child who has fully developed number sense sit and color in counting sheets.

We all need help sometimes. This may be a weird analogy, but I recall being hospitalized for an infection about 10-12 years ago. Although I am generally able to advocate for myself unabashedly, being hospitalized completely undermined my sense of self. People would come into my room without nametages and without introducing themselves, tell me something, leave, and then be followed an hour later by someone else without a nametag who would tell me something completely different. I remember getting out of the hospital and wanting to smack myself upside the head for being so meek while I was there. I allowed all of the experts to talk at me and I felt powerless to challenge or question what they said. Afterall, my wellbeing was in their hands, right? As a result, I spent the entire time feeling confused and a bit frightened. If I'm ever hospitalized again, I hope I am smart enough to have someone else with me who can ask the tough questions on my behalf.

It's easy to feel that way with our schools as well. We are entrusting our children to other adults. We don't want to offend the experts who will be responsible for our childrens' wellbeing, and, "on our own", we can easily be overwhelmed by the apparent confidence of the "experts". Coming to a place like this is a bit like having someone else in the room with you when you are a patient and feeling vulnerable. Other parents can help us confirm our instincts and may even offer advice; or they can gently question our reactions and help us to view things from another perspective. Either way, very valuable indeed.

Great analogy Taminy! I don't know how many times I questioned myself "Who am I to question the teacher? After all, she's the one trained in teaching? Who am I to ask for more for my child or to have his educational needs met?" That's why I pulled my kids out of school. How can I ask for more for advanced reader when Johnny can't read? But then at times I get resentful b/c I pay school taxes just like everyone else and now in addition, I have to foot that bill and a HSing bill as well.


Belle - I can only imagine how difficult it is to teach in such an environment. Here with 24kids, the teacher has a full-time aide and I know it's still difficult for her to meet all the kids' needs. And the kids aren't even as challenging as what you had.

I know the year has been tough for you Belle. You can always vent to me, just send me a PM. 8-) But I do feel this board is the place to vent, and ask for support and ideas on how to move forward. As well as discussing more global issues which face education.

Oh please don't go! The consensus seems to be that this sort of thing helps, so please continue to work things through. I never suggested that people need to feel obliged to post positively. I was merely explaining why I might choose to step back (for my own mental health!!!)

Great analogy Taminy. I had a similar situation when my preemie daughter was born. When I was first admitted, that baby was coming and going at every shift change, . That was a VERY uncomfortable feeling! (And boy did I know a lot about birthing babies when I went back to have #3!)

I promise, this is my last say on the subject, .

I think there is a huge difference between expressing frustration with a given situation as Belle has been doing and making blanket statements about the entire system being broken. I did a multi-state search for schools last year and didn't find a single private school willing to negotiate, develop an individualized curriculum, or do anything close to what I've gotten in public schools. I accept that there are areas with dreadful public schools that only look at lowest common denominator, but there are also areas quite committed and even proactive in meeting the needs of HG kids. When public schools are collectively bashed, those schools and efforts are ignored. I celebrate a place to bash individual schools, teachers, and principals, but I think it's unfair to extend that to all public schools or the entire system being broken.

I am fortunate not to have any kid with very special needs, but I find it hard to believe most those kids get their needs perfectly met by the school system.



I share your frustration at not having access to good public schools. That's not ok and worth complaining about. As you've discussed before, there are many other reasons that we struggle to produce scientists having to do with politics, NIH funding, and the length of the process more than the capacity to do the work. I saw ridiculously bright people drop out like flies in academia because of bad advisors, a poor NIH funding climate, and political infighting within a department. One of my friends who is still in the system has an MD/PhD, residency, fellowship, post-doc for years, major grant funding, assistant professor job, and still moonlights on the side to afford rent where he lives at 40+ years old. Those who didn't want to moonlight all weekend and not see their children have left to find higher paying situations. Having a better elementary school wouldn't fix that situation.

I agree that we have a primary problem with culture, but I resist blaming the schools for that. At one of the schools attended by my kids, there are weapons brought to school at elementary, more than 50% on free lunch, little parental involvement, and horrifying socio-economic problems (we are asked to send food on a regular basis to stock a pantry to help families). I suspect most of the kids and families are dealing with issues that make learning to read well not a high priority for them. I suspect that even a phenomenal teacher has little chance of making great progress in that situation.

Now, on the hospital death panels easy buy-in, you'll get nothing but agreement from me .