Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy Frustrated Mommy

Hi everyone. I'm a long time lurker, first time poster. and today, I'm a frustrated Mommy.

My DS is 6. He is one of those, see it once, learned it, what's next? kinda kids. He read right before his third birthday and was doing simple math concepts of his own devising before he could walk, with manipulatives.

Last year he went to K at our local public school. He sat bored and lazy for months because of the school community classroom concept, ie everything was taught on the simplest level over and over until everyone got it. It took months of bureaucratic headaches to have him pulled out for reading and math everyday and even then, they pulled him at times when he missed what they consider now to be "specials", art, music, etc.

We've had several sit downs with the administration. At the last one at the end of last year, we agreed on a schedule for this year that had him spending two hours a day, not at specials time, with a group of teachers from higher grades to keep him interested and working and progressing on his level. (4th grade)

Now we are almost a month into first grade and big surprise, nothing is happening. All we agreed to went out the window and we are getting a huge run around from the administration. All we have accomplished so far is that he is enrolled in the gifted program, one day, one hour per week.

Meanwhile I get the notes from the teacher: disruptive behavior, talking, mindlessly kicking his chair or tapping his pencil, shouting out answers, and generally being a big old pain in the butt. Big surprise, he is a bored 6 year old boy!

This is all still very new to me. I can't help feeling unprepared to be his best advocate working within the school system. I'm frustrated and feel overwhelmed.

I'm looking for resources, other parents in my area (east Atlanta, GA), book suggestions, anything to help me help him get what he needs! Any ideas?

psyche, I'm in the Atlanta area (west side though), and I was having these same issues prior to DS5.5 being in K. He's in K this year. For us, we were EXTREMELY lucky for DS to have gotten his teacher this year. She's actually the one that suggested whole grade acceleration for him, which if requested by the parent in our county, the school has to at least go through the process. But of course, it's only required when a child is in K and in our county (as far as I know).

Have you tried contacting your school district, instead of just the school? What about the state? Though I'm pretty sure that Cathy Cox won't help much. Also, apparently, almost all GA schools are "needs improvement", and I know in several counties, you don't have to be in a "needs improvement" school to attend another school within the county so check that out as well.

If you are near Gwinnett, you might want to contact Spomenka Newman. We've never had DS tested by her, only because the $$ and the fact that she's over an hour away from us, but she HAS been extremely helpful just answering a few questions for me. Dr. Newman

And finally, try and contact the Georgia Association for Gifted Children. Our county's chapter is for the birds, but I was able to find a really great contact who has helped me out tremendously - she's local to me, but maybe there's someone in your local chapter or in the GAGC itself that can help.
GAGC Link

You can send me a private message, and I can see if my county contact might have a county contact for you as well.

I've actually thought about calling/writing one of the local news stations to see if they could help out, but for now, DS5.5 is on the right track.

Good luck!

Hi and welcome psyche! I'm sorry you're going through this. Sounds like a common theme on this board though. My DS5 is starting kindergarten in a couple of weeks, so I have no BTDT advice for you, but here are some links.

There are many advocacy articles and resources here:
http://www.davidsongifted.org/db/Articles_id_10291.aspx
and here:
http://www.davidsongifted.org/db/browse_articles_165.aspx
and here:
http://www.hoagiesgifted.org/advocacy.htm

Also, did you get the plan you worked out last year in writing? Maybe sending that to the administration and requesting implementation of it, in writing? Others here have more experience, and I'm sure they'll chime in. Good luck!

I pm'd you - we are in the same identical boat you are right now after 2 weeks of school...we have called and talked with everyone under the sun - the teacher, the principal, the guidance counselor, the psychologist over the school (who had the NERVE to ask if we had ever considered medication because of his antsy-ness) and we keep telling them over and over and over - he is bored, you have a huge array of data/testing telling you all of this information and it clearly states he is highly gifted and needs to be accelerated and he is bored out of his mind and so is becoming a massive behavior problem. Their answer is that he has to sit and do the work the teacher gives him no matter how easy it is until at least the end of the first 9 weeks so the teacher can see where all the students are...so meanwhile my little guy is miserable, is being yelled at constantly and is turning into a pain in the hiney.
So would love to hear what your next steps will be...I can so empathize with you!!!

I don't know if I believe that 9 weeks stuff. A teacher friend said she can generally size students up in the first 3-4weeks. I know of schools which assess the kids in reading, math, writing the first 2 weeks of school.

So let's see....let's round 9 weeks up to 10weeks...that's a fourth of the school year. I counted 27 days off for holidays and such (29-30 if you count half-days) which rounds to 3.9weeks, so let's say 4weeks. And that doesn't count snow days for us. Ok so now 1/4+1/4=1/2 of the school year spent either the teacher getting to know the students or students are not in school. That leaves 1/2 of the school year left for real instruction. I actually understand this article I read a few weeks ago where the author suggested gifted kids be allowed to start school in January.

We did have things in writing but across the top it all says "Proposed" He has a proposed schedule and a proposed set of goals. I propose that they are only doing what they ahve to, to shut me up. Then when the rubber hits the road, it's all to be done over again.

I really feel for his teacher. She is just great. She is letting him do the AR books on his level which he enjoys. She is going out of her way to try to help, but she too is frustrated at the whole process.

Last year we got the head of the gifted program for the county involved which got results, but now the admin seems annoyed in general when I contact them.

D&C - DS5.5's teacher knew within the 1st week, and they weren't even doing "real" work yet! And they want to accelerate him prior to the end of the 1st 9 weeks so he doesn't miss much in 1st if it goes that route. So I really agree - that whole let's see after the first 9 weeks thing is garbage!

So we have a little progress today. I met with his teacher and the first grade teacher who had him in pull out sessions last year. Next week after the holiday, they are going to start sending him to a highly recommended second grade teacher for pull out sessions in math and reading/language arts.

I spoke with the gifted teacher at length also this morning and I came away from that meeting nearly in tears. It is so disheartening to have the gifted teacher tell you that your kid deserves more, needs more, than he will ever receive at his present school.

I recently had a chance encounter with an admin from a local private school who pretty much told me there were no academic scholarships for private schools in our area for kids under 6th grade.

I'm so tired of feeling like I'm failing DS for not being able to provide better for him and also his sister. Heck, I'm thinking of starting my own support group for parents of gifted kids in our area because we've got no local resources as far as I can tell. How do you start a group with no resources though?

still frustrated...

All you need is a place to meet. Someone must have a large enough house or perhaps a room at the library? The next step is to locate the parents for the meeting. Then have an agenda for the meeting so it doesn't spiral into a non-productive gripe session.

hugs to you.

psyche - your story is so identical to how we have felt here at our house. When we pulled my DS6 out of public school yesterday to go back to homeschooling I had 2 teachers and our advocate who has worked with 100's of families in our county all come forward and tell us the same thing - that our little guy deserves more than he would be able to get at that school. It is so frustrating. I have tried to start up a support group in my area but didn't have as much luck as I hoped. One suggestion is that most libraries offer free meeting rooms where you can hole meetings...then pick a date and topics for your meeting and post to where ever you can think of to get the word out. We finally ended up joining an excellent group 2 hours away - it is a bit of a drive to get to the meetings but it has been worth it to hear guest speakers and other parents share ideas - best of luck and hugs!