My also school has many parents like the ones you are describing.
In fact, at first I sought out the lower level kids to make play dates with to avoid the competition.

It is harder to find cool parents in a competitive school, but with a little patience and observations, you are sure to discover that you are not the only one there looking for a friend.
The part I like about being in a competitive school is that my HG is more normal. Itis nice that being smart is valued among the kids. Gifties at our school do not get picked on.
Good luck where ever the road takes you.

Where's the jaw-hitting-floor icon when you want it? Sympathy, albs, that's dreadful.

I just want to add that competitive parents don't have to be rich. We've got one at our public school who is hothousing her kids (when she's not redshirting them) like mad. She's scheming to have them labeled gifted, I think, because smart kids are a source of pride for her. Unfortunately for me, mykids have ended up in the same grades with her kids. I try to be polite and keep my distance. I have no idea if she also starts rumors, but I think most sane people who have known her a while take what she says with a grain of salt.

Uhh...when I said "bragging I see between parents here," I wasn't referring to this board. I meant "here in the US." I haven't expereienced a lot of bragging in Europe.

Val

I find my European friends to be much more accepting of the relative intelligence of kids. Frankly, I think Europeans are much more comfortable with the idea that all are not equal (intelligence, socioeconomic level, political power etc.) Americans want to believe that everyone can achieve the same and attain the same "level" in society. Hence our latest boom and current bust, all stemming from the mirage of wealth created by easy access to debt. But I digress…

We are Europeans living in NZ and although they say there is no class structure here there seems to be a hidden one in that the question asked when trying to establish your 'social status'is "which school did you go to, or now, which school does your child go to?" We were advised by a kindy teacher when we first arrived here to look at a private school for DS, in order to meet his educational needs, however when we looked into it we discovered to get in we would have had to have his name down at birth!

There is a chance he could still go in a few years time (not that we would move him now he is so happy) but we have since spoken to others to gain more information and have come across comments about the "rich but thick" element of private schooling. I'm also a bit concerned about the heavy emphasis on sporting achievement that seems to be such a focus of the private schools and DS is definitely no athlete. BUT when we looked round the school and saw the library, computer suite and science lab - wow, just no comparison with state schools here. But unlike Dandy, we had to sell the jet when we emigrated :)lol - problems with getting it through customs! and we don't own a 4x4 either... and are too old to be cool, so would probably be social outcasts.

So we could probably handle being social outcasts in our desire to see DS get the 'best possible' education - but could he, when we have to explain he can't have x,y and z just because Jimmy does? And that's before even getting into the kinda problems poor Albs is facing.

I've met some great Americans in my time but one of my lasting memories was of a trip to Washington when I was in the Army and we were guests of a diplomat, I guess I would have been about 20/21 and had grafted my A... off to get on this trip and I was sitting talking to the son and daughter of the house who would have been at high school and old enough to drive and they both had a Mercedes sports car to get to school in! (I was quite proud of my very first car at the time all paid for - a Nissan Cherry). They both admitted that their grades were dreadful but they would still go to college. I was stunned with their clothes and perfect teeth and perfect house but they both spoke very disrespectfully of their parents and how they had run out of things to spend money on so spent it all on them to show their wealth. (I got the feeling it wasn't money those kids needed.) I think why this memory was so vivid for me was because a few days before we had been on an Indian reservation watching kids with no shoes sitting in class having a great time with a wonderful young (very pretty) Indian girl teaching them. Those kids just seemed so well behaved and having fun. But imho I think Americans have a wonderful sense of openness - which is why I love this forum but I guess it can also create some of that hostile competitiveness discussed here, us Europeans just tend to be a bit more reserved and bottle it all up instead.

Anyway - rambled on a bit as usual. So many thoughts so few people to share them with...