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    #52117 08/08/09 05:05 AM
    Joined: Jan 2008
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    We have a DS7 that has been accelerated 1 year. He has been in the accelerated year now for 2 and a bit years. We have some concerns regarding his maturity. Accademically he is in the correct year definately and is even doing work well above this year level, however behaviourly he is probably age appropriate. How are ourselves and the teachers expected to deal with this. Socially he is fine in this year and has a group of close friends. We do not want to punish him for being his age, but the sometimes silly behaviour may be becoming an issue, and the teacher is concerned this age gap may increase as time progresses. Has anyone else experienced this or are there any suggestions on how we can help him get through this phase. We are tending to think it is a time thing, but any other thoughts would definately help us.

    Joined: Mar 2009
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    My DS was accelerated this year and we have some of the same concerns

    Originally Posted by pinklady
    We do not want to punish him for being his age, but the sometimes silly behaviour may be becoming an issue, and the teacher is concerned this age gap may increase as time progresses.

    I'm no expert, but I would think that the gap would close as all of the children get older. One thing I've noticed with DSs friends that are a year older is that they can be just as silly as DS. They may not show those behaviors as frequently as DS or may have a better social awareness of when to be silly, but DS isn't the only silly one.

    We try to encourage DS to pay attention to who's around and to observe the behaviors of others - ie. if no one's laughing, they probably don't find whatever he's doing/saying funny. Sometimes, we think DS is hilarious when he's being silly, but we have to remind him that just because we do, not everyone else will think so. It's difficult to encourage DS to be himself, but also be mindful of what others may be thinking - only because we want him to fit in OK and have friends.

    Good luck.


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    I agree with Dottie. DD's maturity became a convenient reason why she would act a certain way. She was accelerated by 1 year at that point and she was simply not challenged and spent most of her day daydreaming and talking to other students. Teacher bias is certainly something to be considered, since some don't believe in acceleration. When DD was subject accelerated further, the maturity concern wasn't there, because she was busy paying attention to challenging material.

    Now at 10, she prefers to spend time with out 14-16 year old babysitters or oldest classmates (12+) and in my observation she is not physically as developed, but socially/intellectually it seems a good match.

    In my observation, DDs maturity has only grown with time, not the other way around. Her interests in science and ecology is that of a HS student (according to our science teacher this year) and her motivation to learn has only improved with appropriate challenge.

    HTH!
    Jen

    Joined: Jun 2008
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    Wow, I could have written your post though DS has only been acc. 1 yr. I'm nervous about him starting 3rd for that exact reason. DD had this teacher last yr & I don't think she will be very tolerant of his silliness. Maybe it'll help him settle down some.

    No advice, just letting you know you're not alone!

    Joined: May 2009
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    Hi, I have been silently freaking out about my DS7's maturity in his year 4/5 class (having been accelarated earlier in the year from 3) after comments by his teacher and on his report card stating that he is less mature than his classmates and this sometimes causes tension.

    I have witnessed this 'silliness' myself, which I had never seen before and cannot explain why it suddenly appeared, my guess is 'trying to fit in'.

    Well, I have been to two school functions (one a full day excursion I helped supervise on) this past week and on both occasions witnessed many a year 4 boy carrying on with silliness - not just my DS. They giggle, they tell fantastic stories at a rate of knots, they push, shove, play-fight, cry when they are upset - the list goes on.

    Some of them, on the other hand, were quite mature and seemed bored with the silliness of others. These kids are 8 turning 9. I saw a real mix of maturity levels.

    I also met some of the other parents who also gave me (their)insight into the teacher which helped me understand even more.

    I now keep asking myself why I didn't do it sooner. It seems normal to me and something he will grow out of - sooner rather than later, as his confidence grows.



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