Given our library chat this morning, thought you guys might appreciate this conversation I had today:

DS5 left library book at home. Brought it into school right to the library so as not to disturb his classroom. Part-time librarian who I don't know is there. I explain to her that DS's K class is coming in later and that he's been really wanting dinosaur books, but none have been available on the K table; can they help guide him? She says: Oh, they really like to look at the pictures. I say, actually, he reads. For instance, he read that book I just handed to you. Her eyes get really big as she flips through the pages and then says, "He read this? He must be genius." (It was a Nature's Children book on pandas). I said, "No, he just likes to read."

She wrote his name down and promised to guide him today. ;-)

Awesome! ha.

LOL...at least now she's going to help him!!!

We have conferences today. I have a lot to talk about with the teacher.

In case you guys didn't see my other post I'll give you a short summary. DSs behavior reports from class seemed to be good for the last two weeks or so. He was only getting in trouble for blurting things out (and once saying a bad word...I have NO idea what that was about!) and talking during nap. Before he even started the school I made sure to talk to the principal about nap. It's always been a problem. He won't sleep and he gets bored and likes to wake his friends up. She promised me that they'd find something else for him to do during naptime.

A counselor went in to observe him because of the teacher suggesting that he might have ADD and she said that she saw no issues at all. She said that the teacher even told her that she's more concerned about him not watching where he's walking and getting hurt than she is about his behavior in class.

Last week I called the school and went by to try to talk to the principal about moving him up to first grade. I tried doing this Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday. She was never in. They wouldn't even take a message the last time I called. They said that she was out sick and whatever I needed I could talk to the teacher about. That day I went in to pick DS up from school early and she was there in the office looking quite healthy. Then on Friday (the next day) DS comes home with a write up for bad naptime behavior, a really bad conduct grade and a behavior plan where he gets a certain face for every activity that they do. The last time I went in to talk to the teacher she said that she doesn't believe in behavior plans and doesn't think they work. That along with this seeming to come out of the blue really concerns me. I want to talk to the counselor about it that went in to observe him but she's out sick.

Looking at the behavior chart you can clearly see that he gets in trouble during math, storytime and nap. That to me suggests even more than he's getting in trouble when he's bored.

I'm so upset about all of this that I'm not even sure what to ask the teacher. I know that now that he's on a behavior plan my requests to move him to first grade will certainly be met with a "NO". I wish I'd have gotten to talk to the principal before the teacher implemented this. DS said he has no idea why he's on a behavior plan or what it even is.

Sorry this turned into a novel!

Here's a link to his behavior plan:
http://imgur.com/e3fSb.jpg

Jamie B: Lots of hugs to you.

Okay, in terms of conference with the teacher today:

1. Tell her that you, too, are concerned about DS's behavior along with an I'm sure you've noticed this, too, but it seems he's having a really hard time during math, storytime and nap.

2. Ask for a trial run of giving him higher math independently during the math unit to see if that helps his behavior. Explain your theory that knowing your son, you believe he's acting out because he needs more of a challenge (I'd avoid the word "bored" b/c it sounds like she's boring.) Is there some of his math work outside of the classroom you can bring in to show what he's doing to help make your point? (If this works for a couple of weeks then it may be easier to make your case about first grade.)

3. Remind the teacher that the issue about naptime was known before he started school and the principal had assured you that he would have something else to do during that time. Come up with a plan of what that "something" is going to be from now on.

4. Document, document, document. It seems that the more I show directly DS's work, the more that teachers are believing me about his abilities (even if they are still taking baby steps, in my view). Send a follow-up to the teacher after the meeting thanking her and outlining what was agreed to.

5. I don't know if there's a way to implement something like this, but DS's teacher has a Buddy Bear. If a child has an issue, but circle time or whatever they are doing isn't the right time, then they leave a note in Buddy Bear and the teacher will read the notes and talk with them at the end of the day. Notes can be drawings or anything that gets their point across so that it isn't forgotten. My son won't use the thing to tell teacher when he's bored, but maybe yours would?

Finally, naptime? My county did away with that eons ago ;-)

As far as for giving him more math I've asked for that and she said that she'd gladly send some home for homework but she doesn't give him any in class. He does get a first grade reading worksheet about twice a week and he sits in the corner and does it while she teaches the rest of the class their letters. I can bring in some of his math worksheets that we worked on today to show her what he's doing though and maybe she'll change her mind.

I have a plan for naptime and I'll talk to her about it to see what she says.

Oh I love buddy bear! That's such a great idea. I wonder if she has anything like that.

Yes, naptime. In pre-k they were napping for something like 2 hours. I think this year it's either an hour or 45 minutes.

renie1 - I hope you have luck getting library books that are at your daughter's reading level.

JamieB - how did your conference go??? I hope it went well.

Today was a bit better for DS, although he did have a problem in PE. My head is spinning with this roller coaster ride. I know that since my son is very asynchronous, some of his issues are social, and the school is working with him on that (e.g., his use of personal space, being aware of the kids around him). Some of the problems stem from his very strong-willed personality, and he at times will be very defiant, and not follow directions, or be disruptive (silly) if it is something that he doesn't want to do. It's crazy. Sometimes I don't know what to make of it. I talk to the teacher yesterday and get a laundry list of behaviors that he did, so it wasn't a good day. But yet, when I went into school today to volunteer, the teacher tells me he has really improved a lot since the first day of school, it's like he's a different kid. So my head is spinning. He did have improvements today over Monday, so I'm hoping the week is a steady improvement. It's just a bummer because last week was so great. And so it goes...

Thanks for asking...it actually went well. The teacher said that the counselor suggested the behavior plan. This is the counselor who said to me that she's suggesting putting him in first grade so maybe she wants this to show that his problems are when he's bored? I can only hope. His teacher said that his behavior is much better and gave me the list of site words that they'll be working on in a few weeks. I told her that I wasn't sure if she was aware or not but he can read any word put in front of him. I hope she didn't think I was being rude but I have to somehow let her know what all he can do.

So many of our kids seem to be like this m2gts. It's like one day I feel overjoyed and the next I'm deflated. I think that it's really good that the school is working on him with his issues so at least they are aware of it. What issues does he have with his personal space?

JamieB - you hit the nail on the head with regard to how I feel and why I always say this is such a roller coaster ride. Thank you so much saying that many of our kids are like this. It makes me feel better to know that DS is not the only one. Glad your meeting went well!

WRT personal space, sometimes when DS talks to a classmate, he gets right into their face to talk - definite invasion of personal space. Also, he has a hard time sitting still, so when sitting at the table with classmates, he is up on his knees, back and forth, leaning over (therefore infringing on a classmate's space). He definitely has a lot of energy and the arms and legs are often moving around a lot. When standing in line, he bumps into the kids around him (not intentionally), and while he says he's sorry, he still continues to do it and the teacher said that the kids don't understand, become impatient, because it's not just once or twice, it can happen every day. Yes, we are very lucky in that the school is addressing his academic needs as well as his social needs. In fact, with regard to the personal space issue, they decided to set up a desk for him at the end of one of the tables, which is where he now sits (sort of like an extension of the table). This gives him more room, plus, with the academic work he is doing, he has more books/binders than his classmates and he needs a place to store them. So it serves two purposes and so far seems to be working well.

I was wondering if he was doing the same thing as my DS. He has the hardest time keeping his hands off of the other kids. He always seems to want to touch them or bump them or something. We've been working with him at home and it seems to be helping a little.