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    Joined: Mar 2009
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    dagobbz Offline OP
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    Last edited by dagobbz; 08/04/18 04:21 AM.
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    I don't think your post was rambling. Sorry to hear you are having trouble finding a good fit for your child. From what I have read, yes leaving the giftedness to take care of itself is usually not a good idea, leads to more problems not less.
    Very long shot idea - any chance the school(s) you like would take your child for part time, a few days a week, giving you a few to tackle the iq part? Would that work for your child?
    Very best of luck to you and your son, and welcome to the forum!

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    dagobbz Offline OP
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    Hi Chris, nope the school won't take a child on part time frown This school is also the only option we have in terms of placing my son in a fully supportive school (very small class sizes, properly trained teachers, supportive parent community etc). They're supportive in every way but the gifted way!

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    I have this issue a lot. One of my children has Aspeger's and the other ADHD. They want to deal with the behavior first. My general response is, "When you are bored, don't you find yourself having a hard time concentrating? Imagine if you had poor impulse control?" I usually tell them that I agree that the behaviors need to be dealt with but that having a child at a lower level academically confounds that, and makes it difficult to know where the real behavior challenges start. So, my line with the school is to give me the academics and I will give them all the support for the behavior and work with them.

    Last edited by Artana; 07/14/09 04:31 AM.
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    I hope you don't take this as a "social side myth," but i thought it might be helpful to hear about my friend's son who has Aspergers. He's a rising 4th grader. Once she pulled him out of school and was able to deal w/ his giftedness and the inappropriate things occurring at school, his Aspergers symptoms got sooo much better. The school was a horrible, horrible fit for him. Things would happen and he'd hide under tables, run from the room and hide in school etc b/c he didn't know how to deal w/ the situation at hand. Now that she is HSing, she is able to find the RIGHT social situations for him, discuss the situation beforehand if need be, be there to help him deal w/ any situation at the moment rather than being told about it later and getting 2nd hand information, etc. Everyone told her that her son needed to be in school b/c of social issues but it certainly has not worked out that way. Now just a year later, EVERYONE that sees them, tells her how much her son has matured, how in control he is, what a delight he is to converse with. Now I realize that kids w/ Aspergers can be very different, but thought it might help to hear about another kid who has been successful with HSing.

    Your post was definitely not long and rambling. I hope you find a situation that will be a good fit for your son!

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    So sorry to hear about your situation.
    I think your husbands idea is best for the moment. Try it out for a year & if it does not work you can pull him out.
    You might even find some other kids and parents who are in your situation.

    I wish you luck in whatever road you choose.

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    We have had a very similar situation--Aspbergers, FSIQ 138, 11 years old. We pulled him out of our public school in April of last year because the fit was so poor and have been HS since. I too would love to find a school situation that works for him as I can see that his academic needs already stretch me! (He completed 2 academic years of math in about 2 1/2 months and is now working more than 2 years above grade level.)

    Right now, I'm investigating a gifted school for him with mixed feelings. I really want a school that can cope with the behavioral side, however I found during our HSing thus far that when his academic needs are met, we have much, much fewer behavioral issues to deal with. Granted, at home he is not having to deal with other kids, sensory issues, etc. but a good academic fit is critical for my son. When he is bored, he acts out and is inattentive (wouldn't you be too!)but the Aspy traits are challenging for teachers who are unprepared or unequipped.

    I wish I had a perfect solution for you. Right now we're of the mind that we just have to keep trying different things until we find the best fit--probably nothing will be perfect. (We've been in 2 different schools plus HS).

    Good luck and please continue to keep us updated on your decisions.

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    Hi Dagobbz, I am in a similar boat as you. Our son just turned 7 and had to be pulled out of ps for sensory issues. We "hsed" for last spring. We really didn't do anything. Spontaneously he does his own work, reading, math, etc. His behavior has made leaps and bounds. I worry about the socialization as well. Now that we have the education under wraps and the sensory under control, he is ready to tackle social relationships. I did sign him up for baseball, which completely meets his needs for now. I also plan on signing him up for a class at the Science Museum. They run once a week and possibly swimming year round with other homeschoolers. Would something similar to that work for your son? I heard that if you set the social situations up in environments that are rich with their interests, they are able to cope better and really work on the behaviors. I hope you find something that works. Please keep up posted.

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    i just have time for a quickie, but before you dismiss your public school based on preschool experiences, do you know if the public school could offer your son a 1:1 aide to deal with social/behavior and allow him to attend the gifted program. It might be worth asking. That FSIQ is very strong and would qualify him here in my area, so he is entitled to it even with accomodations- which means he needs the aide because without her he could not attend.. We almost did not do public school for same reasons as you (my son has High functioning autism) but were really pleasantly suprised at the package they offered. We live in a big district with a large ASD population, so that works in our favor.

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    Sympathies re your situation - it sounds extremely stressful. Given that the principal and psychologist seem so friendly and open, do you think they're giving you the 'forget' advice because they simply aren't aware of the impact of IQ? If they're genuinely interested in addressing those other issues then perhaps they would welcome the additional information as another string to their bow. And your son might not be the only child who would benefit.

    Hope it works out.

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