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    Joined: Jun 2009
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    Nes Offline OP
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    Hello to all,

    I wanted to ask for some personal stories about raising young and very bright children. My son is 13 months old, but please don't label me as a crazy stage mom before you hear me out!

    I was psycho-educational tested both in the 6th and 10th grades after my younger brother was diagnosed with ADD and ADHD. I've always had trouble in school and my testing did reflect there were pretty good reasons! I tested exceptionally high on motor planning, 'reading' cause & effect and discriminating symbols. However my spelling and grammar is abysmal (something I am working very hard at). It really interests me that my son seems to excel in similar areas (obviously it's not possible to judge his spelling or grammar yet!).

    Because of personal problems between my parents and a general lack of understanding of LDs I really didn't receive the support, I feel I needed, through school. I don't want my son to have the same experiences.

    Thats really what I'm interested in hearing about, I would like to know from other parents, what they have done to encourage their gifted children, from such a young age.

    He's at home with mom right now and we have no plans to put him into daycare (their is another babe on the was so that doesn't make financial sense right now). However, should I try to get him into a play-group? Is that really going to be beneficial for him?

    I want him to go to public school (I HATED private school) with some additional home learning opportunities; but I have no idea if that is what is going to be best for him.

    I guess I'm just a little lost, I have experience raising kids being the oldest of 4, but as my parents did a poor job with both our gifts & disabilities (with the exception of my younger brother, who is doing fabulously now!) I just don't know what to do to encourage my son.

    BTW my son, who is 13 months old, is already able to:
    - Go up and down stairs confidently.
    - Bring me a glass if he's thirsty, a bowl if he's hungry, or climb up for a cuddle if he's tired.
    - Speak in 2 word sentence "Daddy outside"
    - Run like the dickens!
    - Follow simple commands "Not in your mouth" (which he could do from 7 months) "Don't touch, hot!" "The cat like it when you're Gentle"
    - Sits and "reads" to himself, turning pages and speaking gibberish - this is one of his favourite activities and he's even pretending to read novels now laugh
    - Imitates everything he hears, he now has his own sounds for the cats, dog & trucks.
    - He can copy anything you do after only seeing it once or twice. Yesterday I was showing him how to hit his play hammer on a piece of wood, after watching me for 20 second he was able to copy it exactly (now that is a simple example, but he knows what the door-handle does, pretends to knit and fold laundry, and has been doing these things for MONTHS).
    - And figure this one out: he went to softball to watch his daddy all last year (obviously he couldn't possible remember) and at the first game this year, after watching for 20 minutes he picked up a stick and a rock and started hitting the rock with the stick off the bleachers... I was stunned to say the least!

    So from the little information I've been able to glean from a very small pool of reputable resources, he is developing at a faster then average pace.

    Thank you for any information you can offer. References to good books or website would be greatly appreciated.

    Last edited by Nes; 06/01/09 08:41 AM.
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    I'll put in a plug for playgroup. smile

    Since DD's were so intense, it gave me an outlet to meet with other mothers and have support. I say playgroup is more for the mothers than the children. It helped me recharge so I could meet the challenge of having intense kiddos.

    A mothers morning out program one day a week helped too. The main thing is to find play based activities where children are allowed to choose what interests them.

    I wish I'd read A Parent's Guide to Gifted Children from the get go. It helped me better understand why my children were wired the way they were.

    http://www.amazon.com/Parents-Guide-Gifted-Children/dp/0910707790

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    Hi Nes,

    I can't remember everything my kids were doing at 13 months but I can tell you that our first would sit for long periods of time listening to and looking at books. When he wasn't listening and looking, he was exploring. He ran early and had a natural stride. We often heard how active he was from other parents. It was embarrassing at times to have other parents compare their child to ours but I would point out that that was what he was interested in.

    Our second was even more active, something we didn't think was possible, but instead of liking to listen and look at books, he only wanted to explore on his own. It was very frustrating for me because I had gotten used to his brother and couldn't figure the second one out. He spent a lot of time watching trucks, drains (water flow in general), and paying attention to garbage cans.

    We would take the kids to the zoo a lot and the second would run to all the garbage / recycling cans, drains, and any other type of infrastructure while the first carried on about the animals. Both noticed small changes in their environments. We tried to take them on walks, visit museums, and talk about how things work. I've found that helping my kids develop their strengths and interests has been much easier than trying to force them to do things they don't want to do - they let us know when they are not interested and I have learned to step back and watch.

    There are lots of great resources available on this site and it's also a great place to be able to talk with others without feeling like you're bragging.

    Every child is unique and yours sounds wonderful. Hang in there, it's likely you are going to have a very active ride...

    Added: Both our kids attended a full-day play-based Reggio Emilia program from about 3 months to kindergarten. They learned important social skills and had the opportunity to do amazing projects.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reggio_Emilia_approach

    Last edited by VolcanoMom; 06/01/09 10:28 AM. Reason: added comment about preschool
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    Hi Nes,

    Socialization is a big thing, for me anyway. Gifted kids already have the cards stacked against them when it comes to socializing so it is important to give them as many opportunities as you can to be around other kids. You can always take him to a playground and the swimming pool, just get him out there. My DD is 2 1/2 now and we could not get her in a preschool this year (we were on a waiting list) so I put her in a dance class that meets one hour a week. It really has helped her open up and not be so shy around others. I have noticed that she still stands back when around kids her own age but when around older kids she opens up and talks in her normal way. With kids her own age she dummies down her verbal and is not that open. She will start preschool this fall so I will be watching her to make sure it is a good fit.

    As for my DD when she was around 13 months ... she was exploding with something new everyday. She already spoke in complete sentences and knew all her ABCs and the sounds they make as well as numbers, colors, shapes, etc. She wasn't walking at that point... that was our back breaking time where we had to hold her hand and walk with her. She could technically walk but would not let go until she was sure she wouldn't fall. We knew then that we had a little perfectionist on our hands.

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    I think finding older kids to play with is a big help. Otherwise just have fun and remember to praise 'character' traits instead of the inborn ones. It's great for a little one to overhear you talking about how 'interested' and 'hard working' and 'willing to try new things' they are.

    You may want to start thinking about having a 'computer policy' - our son was interested at age 2.5, but if I had it to do over, I think I would have thrown it out the window instead!

    Smiles,
    Grinity


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    Such good advice already, I only have one small thing to add. smile

    In terms of being gifted with a learning disability, I can relate. Only, I hated public school and thought my children should go to private!!

    What I've learned in this process of sending my kids to public school (ages 6 and 9) is that they do things a LOT differently than they did when we were kids. There have been some tremendous improvements in terms educating children with learning disabilities. There can be difficulties, but hopefully, you have a few years until you have to worry about it.

    Simply by your experience, you'll know when something doesn't seem quite right, so that's a good thing. smile

    Neato

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    Originally Posted by Grinity
    I think finding older kids to play with is a big help. Otherwise just have fun and remember to praise 'character' traits instead of the inborn ones. It's great for a little one to overhear you talking about how 'interested' and 'hard working' and 'willing to try new things' they are.

    You may want to start thinking about having a 'computer policy' - our son was interested at age 2.5, but if I had it to do over, I think I would have thrown it out the window instead!

    Smiles,
    Grinity

    Grinity ... you are so right and I never thought I would be having the problem of computer time with my 2 yr old. I am going to have to buy an egg timer and put it next to the computer and limit her. She is very independent and can get into any of her programs. It is so getting out of hand and if anyone has suggestions (beyond the timer) on what to do I would greatly appreciate it.

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    I'm so excited people I can actually talk to! smile My brother (younger, but no ADD - there are 2) does understand how smart and how difficult Lucas can be, but as he doesn't have kids it's still not the same thing as being able to talk to other parents.

    Thanks for the suggestions, I will keep looking for an appropriate play group for Lucas. I have noticed already that he doesn't relate well to kids his own age and would rather chase the big kids on the playground (he's such a flirt!!). Unfortunately I don't know allot of people with older children that are appropriate playmates for him, so for now it's just his beloved dogs. He does have a little initial shyness around adults, but he gets over it in about 30 seconds of hiding beside mom. I do want to nip that in the butt as I'm quite shy and really don't want him picking up that bad habit from me.

    Last time we took him to the zoo he was 5 months old. It was very interesting because he has a cousin who is only 2 weeks older was with us. Lucas was out & about looking at all the animals, trying to touch everything. While his cousin spent the whole trip in his stroller being pushed around, how boring! We do have plans to take him to the zoo again this summer, and to the museum, country fairs, really everywhere a little man can go.

    Lucas has a great fondness for motorcycles, but I'm not to sure I'm excited to encourage that interest!

    So far our computer policy relates to not pulling all the cords out of the back, and to stop pushing the tower over (which he has done several times). The vacuum is actually his favourite toy & he's constantly trying to take it apart or use it.

    Does anyone have suggestions for good children's computer games? I haven't been able to find anything I like.
    Lots of Babies Tap & Type
    Was entertaining for awhile, but just taught him to mash the keyboard. Thankfully he's still far more interested in running around and causing mayhem. Against my better judgement I'll actually sit him in his playpen to watch television for 20 minutes if he needs a time out, because it's the only time he spends sitting still! (Unless he has a book) My only real interest with computer games was to teach him things like cause & effect, which he seems to have learned by pulling things off high shelves.

    Unfortunately when it comes to forcing him to do things he doesn't like, at this age it's things like putting a diaper on, wearing a hat outside, or shoes, anywhere, so he doesn't have a choice yet laugh. I do try to encourage him to make as much mess when exploring as he needs to, I'm home all day anyway I don't mind putting everything back when he's done. Although that does lead to allot of hidden remote controls, pacifiers, and we finally go so tired of him stealing the phone we just bought a new one smile.

    What is the general consensus on actively teaching such a young child?

    I had previously made the decision to leave him be until he was a little older (maybe start at 18 months?). We do allot of passive teaching, so at the grocery store we collect things that are all one colour or it's "look Lucas, 1, 2, 3 motorcycles on the road!" (DH decided my new nickname is "Sesame Street"). Is it to early to start teaching him different shapes or colours if he seems to retain it?

    It's so funny how different every child is. Lucas couldn't care less if he fell down. He's constantly flying all over the house, and took at least one full-body leap off the couch (my heart stopped, but he landed on a pillow!). Right now his favourite game is "RUN AWAY!" which usually involves a very quick U-turn that ends up on the ground smile.

    Does anyone have toys they particularity love?
    I knitted my son some DNA I'm quite proud of, but I think his new favourite is a plastic tool set (it's for an older child but I just removed the nuts so it's safe) someone gave us so he can pretend to work with his daddy. Of course the dogs bones & toys seem to be his real favourite.

    Until about 3 months ago I had a very hard time getting him to play with toys. As a young baby he never had any interest in sitting still or manipulating his toys. Anything that made interesting sounds held his attention for a minute or two but then he was off again, exploring his new world smile. First thing every morning he still does a complete round of the house, inspecting everything, saying hello to all the pets (2 dogs, 2 cats, fish) before he goes for the toy box.

    Active in Lucas' case is a complete understatement, I'm ignoring all my fears that he could have ADHD (like my brother) because there is no use worrying until he is old enough to diagnose.

    I really am glad I found some people who actually know what I'm talking about; I had previously tried to get some information on a regular parenting board and if you don't live it - you don't understand.

    One last thing, I have to share that was so cute last night! I was watching TV last night while Lucas was winding down for bed (banging some plastic fruit together) when the phone rang on the television show and clear as day Lucas answers on his apple:

    "Hello Daddy? Yes... yeah... oh! ablahablhablahahbah... No... ahblahablhahblahablaha... dog outside.... no... adadadada..."

    Yeah, he's a year old, I'm so proud!

    Last edited by Nes; 06/02/09 06:26 AM. Reason: visit from the grammar fairy
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    I love reader rabbit! I can't believe it's still available. My parents purchased the compete collection for my younger brother to learn to read. I'll have to go digging when I'm back home, but I would be surprised if we still have all the books, but I'll look for sure smile

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    [quote=Nes] I will keep looking for an appropriate play group for Lucas. I have noticed already that he doesn't relate well to kids his own age and would rather chase the big kids on the playground (he's such a flirt!!). Unfortunately I don't know allot of people with older children that are appropriate playmates for him, so for now it's just his beloved dogs. He does have a little initial shyness around adults, but he gets over it in about 30 seconds of hiding beside mom. I do want to nip that in the butt as I'm quite shy and really don't want him picking up that bad habit from me.
    /quote]

    My 11 year old son didn't go to daycare or preschool. He was two before we put him in Sunday school and once when we picked him up from that class we heard him tell one of the other 2 year olds I'm a b-o-y and you're a g-i-r-l. He didn't really fit in with the other kids physically either because of motor delays. I was worried that he might become shy like me if he didn't get the opportunity to be around other kids.

    He stayed home with me during the day but we often went next door to see his grandparents and we all went grocery shopping together and to museums and did fun things together, so he never had a problem with shyness around adults. His very pretty sister is 18 years older and he always flirted with her friends. At four he joined a community children's musical theater group and two of the older girls would fight over him. He loved that. Musical theater was the best place for him because it was a mixed age group--ages 4-18 and most of the kids were also academically gifted. He fit in very well with that group of kids and they are all still good friends. The musical theater teacher was very strict and expected a lot out of young kids, but my son learned a lot of good things from this group like working together for a common goal, doing his best because the quality of the performance depended on everyone doing their best, memorizing quickly, improvisation when things don't go right because the show must go on (this was one of the most valuable lessons in my opinion) and feeling good about all the hard work and sometimes long, difficult rehearsals they did to produce a good show. Occasionally we see some of the older kids, now in college, who have aged out of the group and they are always happy to talk to him.

    My son was probably on the computer a little too much but he always seemed to be happy and learning and there were no other kids for him to play with.

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