Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy Just a vent

For those curious in my ongoing saga with DS6.

Last week our team (assistant principal, GT coordinator, K teacher, school counselor, school psychiatrist) met and talked about how can we make school better for DS6 over the next few weeks so he could leave for the summer on a positive note. The 1st grade teacher (the one where he seems to have all the issues) did not come to the meeting. I was told she had a last minute emergency and would be late but when we left the meeting she was in the office talking with the school secretary (but I am not jumping to any conclusions ).

Today I got an e-mail from the Assistant Principal telling me that DS6 is trying to "sabotage" it. He has been to the office quite a few times this week for various behavior issues (nothing really different from the normal behavior issues this year).

The part I find funny is that DS6 was not at the meeting so he didn't hear the "adults" say that the rest of the school year was going to be more positive. Apparently when DS6 reacts the same way that he has all year this is considered sabatoge to their master plan of trying to make things more positive.

Thank goodness my summer nanny starts on Monday. DS6 will only attend K from here on out till the end of the school year. No need to have him blamed for sabotage for responding to his environment.

In other news I am working hard on opening our Private school for GT kids. We have another teacher interview next week and have been looking at real estate. I am getting more and more desperate for this to work out.

If DS6 has to stay in public school next year we at least did the IAS and he was a good canidate for acceleration. We also have the principal finally realizing that she must allow DS6 to accelerate. Too little, too late to save this year though.

The end of the school year can't come fast enough.

In what way was your DS trying to "sabotage" the plan? By acting out as he has been all year? Doesn't that argue more strongly that he in fact needs the acceleration?

I feel for you, and DH and I have had similar road blocks in our attempts to advocate. I hope the situation works out - maybe some relaxation over the summer and a new teacher next year will help.

Hope things fall into place for the private gifted school to open in the fall.
It's hard to picture a 6 year old saboteur but I've got the Beastie Boys "sabotage" ear worm!

P.S. Sounds like you've got a contender for Haogies Most Ridiculous Things I've Heard Today
http://www.hoagiesgifted.org/ridiculous_things.htm

Crisc, I'm so sorry to hear that things aren't going well. We've had some serious issues to deal with as well, all stemming from the teacher. I have seen that when out of the situation, the girls seem to re-bound so quickly! Far more resilient than I am! Keep up the advocation. Hopefully a grade skip will alleviate some of the issues.

((hugs))

Neato

Crisc - I"m sorry things aren't going as well as you had hoped for the end of the year.

I'd love to read more about opening up a school either here or a PM if you prefer.

Dazey (not as confuzed as before thanks to you wonderful people)

Wow, hang in there.
I continue to be surprised by assertions like "the 6 yr old is trying to sabotage" a situation. Who's the adult here? Even our clever, manipulative kids don't set out trying to "sabotage" an endeavor or trying to make themselves "fail." If they're doing things not in their own best self interest, isn't that where the teaching comes in? Good grief. (sorry, just venting here)

crisc,

I am sure it goes with out saying but the days til summer can not come fast enough. I really hope the private school works out for you. What a great parent you are to try to take on such a task. I am sure you have done your research on this but since I am coming into this late I just wanted to suggest calling a few places that were started for basically the same reason as you are ... they might have some great advice for you. The Ace Academy in Austin is one such school and their website is www.austingifted.org.

And again ... coming into this late so chances are you are way past this stage but just want to lend any help I can for your cause. Let me know if you need anything.

H Crisc,

Sorry to hear about your meeting but it's reassuring to me (sorry again) because we are dealing with similar issues. DS7 has 14 days of school left and DH went to our SST meeting (teacher, resource teacher, principal, and psychologist) last week while I was in the hospital with DS4 whose appendix ruptured. It's been a crazy few weeks.

At the meeting our teacher gave an example of a time she got into a tug-of-war with DS7 over a book and a page tore. DH didn't know what to say. He was thinking something a little stronger than, "wow, a tug-of-war with a 7 year-old in front of the rest of the class, how did that make you feel?" After a little more discussion, the principal told him DS7 couldn't be advanced in math unless it was in Spanish, which we do not speak (immersion school), the resource teacher made the "special ed students work more in English" plea (because we could supply him with more advanced math in English), the principal said no, and the teacher countered with, "why does he need to work ahead?"

I was really happy I wasn't there and it helped DH see that I'm not insane. The week before, we had a qualitative assessment and were told to pull DS7 from school because school would never meet his needs and he needs to be homeschooled. Then I ended up in the hospital for more than a week with DS4, who is now home and running around.

I'm angry about our school issues but it's better to know now than to keep him miserable any longer.

I wish you the best with your school and wish we lived near you! You are an amazing parent. I am still fighting how to handle next year for both kids but it's been more fun to toy with the idea of a new path.

Looking forward to hearing more about your school!

I'm following with interest, as always, crisc. Thanks for the update, and I'm sorry about the meeting. I'm really pulling hard for the new school!

I'm sorry about the meeting. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for your new school and would love to hear more.

VolcanoMom:

I'm always floored when I read that a parent was told this by the school! Considering new paths can be frightening....but I told myself that no decision is permanent so we're trying HSing for now!

Our school once told us something to that tune... I wish I had it in writing as I would have used it as leverage to say fine - that neighboring district has a top-notch gt program. You need to work it out with their adminstrators then and transfer our tax money over there. Of course, we were so new to this and equally floored we didn't paper trail it then... and now they sing a different tune. They still might be unable to meet our needs but they won't say it.

Thanks. The school seems to want him out but not to homeschooling. The private assessment person was the one to suggest homeschooling and she was not connected to the school. It was actually a relief to hear because I've tried for over a year to make it work and I've made no progress. It's too painful to send him to public school and then try to homeschool in the evenings.

Kickball - the gifted coordinator, who told me DS7 wasn't her concern until 4th grade, suggested trying to transfer to the neighboring (more wealthy) district. It's not even a possibility so it wasn't very helpful except to make friends in that district feel better about their expensive house.

I'm still amazed that there are so many of us out there with similar issues. Now that I've been trying to figure out how to help DS for so long, I'm feeling better about HSing. We are still looking into private for next year but as you can probably tell, I'm confused and need to investigate options for extended periods of time before making a change.

It does help to know that you're not alone, doesn't it?

Options are a good thing. And you have time to investigate and figure out what is your least-worst option (ala the Hoagies' article).

As Dazey says, none of your choices are irreversible here, so it's smart not to make it more stressful than the situation really is. If you try one thing and it doesn't work, you can always change your mind next semester or next year. Options are handy!

Quick update:
Right now the plan for next year is acceleration to 2nd grade (which would be an offical 1 year skip) with telescoping of the math curriculum to 4th or 5th grade (?based on testing done in the fall). There was also some mention of pre-testing but no firm plans were documented.

I am still hoping that our new private school will open in September and this will all just be a moot point. Since there are no state/district guidelines, nothing would force them to actually follow this plan or make further adjustments as needed.

I hope the gt school will work. If not, accelerating to 2nd and 4th or 5th grade sound like a good plan. Hopefully the much needed break from school in summer will help too.

Hoping for the private school! C'mon, private school!