Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums General Discussion Are gifted children more likely to be sensitive?

DD13 is probably gifted, and possibly HG+ according to Dottie, but I was just wondering, have you guys noticed that your kids are especially sensitive? DD cries when animals die, which is a typical "sensitive" trait. But, to take it further, she cries whenever she gets criticized. (and shes not a wimpy kid, she does not cry when she gets hurt or anything, and certainly does not seem to be the crying type, and she has told me that she hates how she starts crying when criticized) but continuing, she hates to see people feel bad about themselves. For any of you guys who watch the office, I can give you an episode that she hated because of that. I don't know, just wondering about it.

Yes, yes, yes.... and teen hormones are making things so extreme. My DS15 got teary eyed near the end of Marley and Me.

On SENG's website, there is an article on Oversensitivities of gifted children. I find it comforting to read some of the characteristics and parenting suggestions to deal with these issues.

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One of the main characteristics of giftedness, based on my understanding, is to be more intense or extreme - and emotionally intense is not an exception. As a matter of fact, somewhere along the way I came across an understanding that the higher the IQ, the more intense the "special" characteristics. Of course, that is a HUGE generalization, but seems to be true when looking at our little people and their friends that have been identified. The best way we've found to deal with it is to treat them respectfully and with understanding.

Sorry I don't have any more solid info. If you'd like more info, I can see what I can dig up.

I.... cant'..... believe... it.... thats so funny, I was about to put Marley and me as an example of when this happened... so thats kind of funny.

I know the movie has moved a lot of people, however, my DS seemed to be upset the movie made him feel. He says he had "popcorn salt in his eyes" :S....

Another movie that seemed to upset him greatly was the movie Knowing. He has been thinking about why he exists for a while now and when the teen years hit, he was quite upset and even bothered by not knowing. He questions, respectfully, his grandmother's passion of Christianity, the world's spirituality/philosphies, and favors world history especially ancient cultures. Anyway, I thought after watching the movie Knowing together, it would open up conversation and discussion between us. He was too upset to talk about it eventhough, his younger brother and I made references to various parts of the Bible and historic facts to the movie.

I sometimes wonder why he takes such thoughts to great lengths and be bothered by such questions. I have to remind him, while in process of finding the answer, it doesn't excuse him from tidying up his room today.

You may want to google "Dabrowski's overexcitabilities" -- I believe Elizabeth Mika has done some work in this area. When I first started researching all things GT, I ran across an article called "Intensitive!: Intensities and Sensitivities of the Gifted," by Linda Silverman, that was really helpful for me.

Yup. Definitely look up Dabrowski.

Mia, I just googled the Linda Silverman article you mentioned and it is great - thank you for sharing this, it has really helped me

Bassetlover, my DS7 is extremely sensitive. He will not discuss anything to do with death, can't stand it if any of us are hurt, and struggles with dealing with people's emotions. One of his targets at school is describing and discussing people's emotions - something he generally tries to avoid. We both get tearful with movies - even ones with happy endings - so we make a fine pair! My son and I call it "happy-sad" - when the ending is so happy it makes us sad.

Does anyone know whether there is a link between these sensitivities and susceptibility to depression?

BassetLover,

i wished I had this forum years ago. Our son was extremely sensitive which made raising him very difficult. The stress he'd have permeated the atmosphere. It takes finesse, I've learned, to soften the repercussions on the rest of the family. Hissy fits abounded over things the other two boys would overlook. For ex a circus that was "too loud." It freaked him out. My husb. had to leave with all three kids. Later, because he had the wrong placement and bullying, he developed obsessions about restaurants being contaminated and that ruined a few outings for the other 2. Other sensitivities plagued some other outings and holidays, as well. Through God's grace, they are young adults and all 3 are close buddies. The other two understand their brother's condition. He is now a 27 yr. old prof. and delightful company.

My DD6 is especially sensitive to fear. Last year they learned about spiders in K and she cried heself to sleep for a week. And last week she had a bad dream that took her several nights to recover from.
The good news about my sensitive kid is disipline, all it takes is a dirty look and she tears up.
Wish that trick would work on my DS2!

Now that is an interesting question to ponder. I recently responded to Dr. Ruf's blog about eating disorders(Link to Blog) because after reading it, I thought "wow", that WAS me (only I didn't have an actual eating disorder, but close)... eating disorders tend to be higher in those girls (and boys) who have issues with anxiety, OCD, depression, etc... all of which are more common in gifted kids with those overexcitabilities.
And while I can't answer your question myself, I wouldn't be surprised if there is one.

I have a sensitive DD10 and she has always been this way. Esp. when it comes to animals and nature. We recently went to an animal shelter to adopt a pet rabbit. She spent a long time picking the right rabbit for us and then explaining the others why they weren't picked and hoped they would have a family soon. She also helped another family pick a cat and "interpreted" the cat's behavior to them.

Now with puberty approaching, I don't know how we are going to manage the sensitivity and intensities. Gets harder every year.

Jen

Bassetlover, I just wanted to add an observation that your DD seems to be exceptionally empathetic, as opposed to sensitive to noises, light, smells and tactile things. I have no words of wisdom on how to handle this, but just wanted to say that can be a powerful gift which may help her and others in the future. There must be a way to manage it without it crippling her. (With adults, something called Dialectical Behavior Therapy, which borrows heavily from mindfulness training, helps a lot.) All the best for your special DD ~

Dr. Webb wrote a good article about this:
http://www.sengifted.org/articles_counseling/Webb_ExistentialDepressionInGiftedIndividuals.shtml

Honestly, all 4 of us are very sensitive. My daughter is the most sensitive, at least right now. She totally reminds me of myself when I was a child. I feel like she's being introduced to much better coping skills than I ever had.

I wouldn't be surprised if there was a strong correlation between being GT and depression (or anxiety, OCD, etc). Actually, this is part of the reason I feel so strongly about finding an educational fit that works for my kids. I was at least somewhat depressed my entire elementary school career. It's about being happy and finding peers and positive outlets to enjoy.

I highly recommend the book "'Mellow Out' They Say. If I Only Could. Intensities and Sensitivities of the Young and Bright" by Michael M. Piechowski, Ph.D. It's an in-depth look at all of Dabrowski's "overexcitabilites." I tend to go back and review different parts of that book whenever my girls' sensitivities start driving me batty...

I think she fits a bit of each of the overexitabilities. She recently told me that she gets the "fingers on the chalkboard" feeling very frequently/sometimes more than once a day. Intellectual- I think you all would understand this one. Imagination- cried because she had to go to a sleepover, and told me it was because she would not get to think(right before be), which she apparently does for hours before going to sleep at night. Emotional- what I already mentioned, her compassion, etc. And lastly Psychometer- we still have not ruled out ADHD, she is a percussionist at heart, always tapping her foot or hands and is really competitive.

This could be anxiety too, not just ADHD... I DS5 doing this more when he's nervous about something. I clench my teeth and have to move as well. Though I have an official ADD diagnosis myself (though I still think it's WRONG, but my meds have helped relieve anxiety, so...).

Anywho, DS5 fits more than one as well.