Gifted Issues Discussion homepage Forums Parenting and Advocacy Need advice communicating to kindergarten teacher

I agree with Trinity that that gifted magnet might not be worth waiting for (especially if the years you invest waiting are causing your child to shut down). My experience on this board has suggested to me that the schools that believe they have great gifted programs can be the least flexible. They seem to think that if the programs they have in place don't meet a child's needs, then the problem is with the child. By the usual standards, our school district is mediocre at best and no one moves here for the schools, but they have adapted to meet our son's needs without a single complaint and usually without me needing to advocate much. Just because a school or program is supposed to be good doesn't mean that it will be good for your kid.

Is volunteering in the school a possibility for you? One of the things that has helped me, I think, is that I was a regular volunteer in the school. I was happy to do whatever they asked me to do: preparing craft materials, grading spelling tests, escorting sick kids to the nurses office, filing books in the library, weeding the front garden plot. There was nothing beneath me. I made friends with the teachers and staff. So when I had to put on my one-of-those-moms hat, they already knew that I cared about them and all the kids at the school. I think that they were more open and less likely to be defensive because of this. Being in the classroom gave me a good chance to see how DS was behaving and how the teacher reacted to him. I also got a better sense of all the issues that the teacher had to deal with. And DS loved having me there. Ultimately, I felt much better able to advocate for DS because I had first hand experience in the class he was in. I can see lots of reasons why this wouldn't work out in all circumstances, but, still, it was so good for us, I wanted to mention it.

Hi Incog,
I see our posts crossed. Glad to hear you are volunteering and that you are getting along with the other staff. Would it be possible to trial move your daughter to another classroom/ teacher, "just to see if there is a better match of style?" Sometimes its not about the quality of the teacher, but about the "fit."

Hi all, just a quick update.

I met with C-dog's teacher this morning. She had the reading specialist administer a reading test and now believes C-dog can really read. I was expecting the worst going into the meeting, but it went better than expected. I had her report from testing and some work from a summer gifted program in which she was put in a class with children 1-3 years older. The teacher really seemed to turn around when she saw what the summer teacher wrote about C-dog's demonstrated abilities. She had been afraid that my daughter would feel frustrated if she went into enrichment with other children and couldn't do what they were doing. I think she realizes that C-dog isn't showing her anything extraordinary because she really hasn't been expected to do so. On the downside, she used the "cream of the crop" statement again. Even though I wanted to vomit, I calmly brought her back to C-dog's test score and reminded her that she is in the 99.6th percentile. That means she scored in the top 1/2 of 1% of her peers and regardless of her opinion, I consider her to be the "cream of the crop" in terms of intellectual and cognitive abilities. She didn't love it that I said that, but I bet she won't use that awful descriptor when referring to what my child is not, again. She will send C-dog to the gifted programs now, so I guess my first real effort at advocating worked out well. Best case scenario, though, I'm not sure the school will be able to accomodate either of my girls in reference to what they are really able to do. I am considering going back to work in order to send them to one of the gifted private schools in the area. It has really helped me to read all the posts in reference to my original question. It also helped me just to read what else is going on with others and what they are doing, so thanks everybody.

Peace,
Incog

Incog,
I'm really glad that you made some headway. I hope you giggle when you hear my favorite new catch-phrase - when it comes to working with schools "It's a process!"

I'm hoping that both your daughter grow happy and get regualar chances with challenge as you get closer and closer to your goal.

LOL - same advice regarding the private school - observe the classroom. Personally I did get to the place where I came to believe that the best way to help my son was to work more and earn enough dough for a more flexible school placement. I had heard a joke that no one puts on their gravestone "I should have spent more time at the office." - and was starting to think that I would be the exception to that rule! Still, being there emotionally for children is a huge committment of time and energy, so I applaud any parent who can swing working less outside the home for as long as they can manage it. Another good example of us choosing the "least bad option."

Smiles,
Trinity

Wow, your posts sound very similar to mine! We just did the WWPSI and the WIAT with our 5yo kindergartner (May birthday) with results similar to your dd's and are in the process of talking to the school. We got the standard, "Well, there are several other children in kindergarten who are reading." Not like this they aren't! We have a meeting set up for next week with the principal, his k teacher and the GT teacher.

Anyway, I'm so glad you got the accomodations you were looking for, and that you got through to the teacher! I'm sure that our K teacher doesn't understand the implication of our Benjy's test scores, and it sounds like yours didn't either; it sounds like you were able to sway her.

And don't you hate it when you get hothousing comments? I know there are many parents who do push the academics to produce an early reader, but a hothoused kid just doesn't score above the 99th percentile on IQ tests.

Congrats on your bright kid and your successful advocacy efforts!